When Will They Learn?

My whole life (actually since I was 6 years old) I have had a deep love for women. The kind of love that would make me climb Mount Everest completely naked just to get handshake from one.

After years of failed coffee dates, awful dinner dates and bad personal ad encounters, things finally changed when the BC ages finally came to an end. And by “BC” of course I mean “Before Computers!” Back in the BC days there were no inboxes full of messages from extremely hot girls saying how hot they found me and that they were looking for the love of their lives. In the BC days I would have never been able to just click a couple of times and meet a a girl from countries 9 thousand miles away where fire is still a new invention.


What kind of a dumb dumb do these broads think I am? I’m a native New Yorker of Italian descent! You don’t play me, I play you! So instead of just deleting the messages, I fuck with them and tell them I will send them a brand new iPhone, a pair of UGGSs and a brand new 59 inch HDTV so her mother can watch reruns of Starsky and Hutch.


I fuck with them for days, weeks or even years! Then when they take the bait, I lower the boom on them. I block them into Facebook hell for a cyber eternity! Then they start wondering what happened… did my computer die? Was I eaten by lions on my way to their remote country? Was I captured by a head hunting pygmy tribe?

Ahhh Facebook love! Isn’t it just the best?



– Mike Bocchetti



TWITTER: @mikebocchetti

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