Uncouth Youth

The other day as I left my office (located dead center of a large college campus) I noticed a girl. You have to understand, that in this setting, constantly surrounded by obnoxiously attractive women, it’s rare to see one that warrants such a response. She was wearing shorts, and not just any shorts, but the obnoxiously high wasted shorts. The kind of shorts that should not be worn unless you are Jennifer Anniston and it is 1996. These shorts prominently showcased more bottom butt than most underwear; and I felt the moment merited a picture.


Whilst I am taking the picture I see a boy, stopped, staring, mouth open, about to drool; you get the idea. As he is walking in an opposite direction as her, his few steps, followed by a complete stop and stare, were anything but subtle. At this point I am approaching him, he is still gawking, oblivious to anything but this girls ‘assets’. I nudge him, “would you like me to send you a picture?” I ask. Startled and understandably embarrassed he turned a wonderful shade of crimson red, keeping his head down as he shuffled off.

A word to women: keep your ‘cheeks’ covered and you’ll attract the right kind of men.

A word to men: try to be more discreet.


– Laura Elizabeth Anderson

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