SDL Late Night (03/13/2015)


We here at Stuff Dudes Like are always interested in trying new things and taking chances on fresh new writers.

When Dakota Wheatley came to us with the idea of a late night talk show monologue on a website, we jumped at the idea! So without further adieu… Heeeeeeeeeeeeere’s Dakota!!!

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 Image Credit: desertlivingtoday.com

Thank you everyone for coming to the SDL theater for my latest show.

 

This week in Bill Cosby news… he hasn’t roofied anyone yet. When asked “When do you think you might roofie again?” Bill answers… “Not sure, but I am keeping my weekend open.”

In Kardashian news… still no talent.

Everybody thinks they are rock stars now days so some of my bro’s and I started a rock band, yep, where getting good… we almost have all the songs unlocked.

I am not one of them dudes that has trouble breaking up with girlfriends… I always have my wife do it for me.

I don’t worry about how much the bill is when I take my girlfriend out for dinner… she pays.

Girls I ain’t the guy ya want to marry… I’m the dude ya cheat on that guy with.

My nephew wants to marry his little girlfriend. They’re going to have the ceremony on the playground during recess. That way afterwards they can go straight to nap time! (wink, wink)

I was told I tell too many dirty jokes. That’s not true… I just don’t tell enough clean ones!

Chicks dig me, even though I am hairy and fat. Shit, I look like Chris Farley and bigfoot had a drunk, drug filled night together. I think the chicks dig me because… they can pet me while I make them laugh.

When I start touring, my downfall will be weed and hoes. I am a pot and pussy man… that’s right dudes, lock up you wifes AND your bongs… Dakota’s coming to your town!

 

– Dakota Wheatley

Twitter: @dakotawheatley

FaceBook: dakota.wheatley.73