No Holds Barred


As dudes there are certain things that non-dudes will never understand. No matter how hard we try to explain how awesome they are. Fast cars, the amazing taste of a cold beer on a hot summer day and of course 80’s action movies!

We here at SDL loves the take no prisoners, car explosion filled, machine gun shooting, female breast bouncing masterpieces of the 1980’s!

As a courtesy to all of the dudes out there, SDL will from time to time find and recommend a great 80’s action movie that can be found on the greatest invention of the modern times, a little service called Netflix!

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Image Credit: Netflix

This pick is for one the unsung heroes of 1980’s action cinema and a movie that I actually saw in a movie theater as a youngster. It is the 1989 classic film “No Holds Barred” starring Hollywood icon Hulk Hogan as “Rip” and Tiny Lister Jr. as the one and only “Zeus”.

In the film Rip is the World Wrestling Federation champion and the biggest star on television. Every time he defends the championship on TV, rival station the “World Television Network” suffers in the ratings. WTN owner (and one of the greatest 80’s movie villains of all time) Mr. Brell wants to sign Rip away from the WWF and have him wrestle on the WTN instead. But Rip declines the offer and then forces Mr. Brell to eat the blank check he had offered and then makes a poop joke. Angered, Mr. Brell hires an ex-con named Zeus to be his network champion. With Zeus, Mr. Brell begins the “Battle of the Tough Guys” show to challenge the WWF on TV and to challenge Rip personally. All of this leads to the ultimate match between TV’s biggest stars… A “No Holds Barred” match to be exact! (See what I did there??)

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Image Credit: Netflix

If you have already seen this amazing piece of cinematic mastery, you know that I purposely glossed over some of the finer points of the plot as to not ruin it for those that may want to boot up their Netflix account and catch the flick for the first time. But be prepared… there will be more poop jokes, implied rape attempts, sex jokes, murders, workout montages, and Mr. Brell calling everyone he doesn’t like a “Jock-Ass” (how in the world did that not catch on???)! All of that and it was marketed as a movie for kids back in 1989!

I’m not sure how many of you are still here and not already on Netflix watching Hulk Hogan prove he is Hollywood royalty, but if you needed any more reason to watch “No Holds Barred” tonight there is always this…

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Image Credit: gifsoup.com

HULK HOGAN IS SO AWESOME HE MADE A DUDE CRAP HIS PANTS!!

Just go watch it! I’m sure you will come back and thank me later in the comments below.

 

 

– Keith White Jr.

Follow Me @KeefWhiteJr