Mayweather Verses Pacquiao


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Never in the history of the great sport of boxing has a fight been as anticipated, as talked about, and as polarizing as the upcoming May 2nd fight between Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao. This fight has been analyzed and dissected by boxing experts and pundits for the last seven years in every form and every manor except one. I have consulted an elite team to fill in the remaining gap and approach this fight from the last remaining angle: the limerick.


Here are my personal attempts at boxing journalistic limericks.


There once was a man named Manny,

For years he kicked everyone’s fanny,

Floyd Stayed away,

Steroids he’d say,

Until they were both older than my Nanny.


I have 2 points about this fight,

Manny hits with all of his might.

He jumps right in,

And hits harder than sin,

But Floyd is slicker than shite.


Floyd claims he is the best,

Better than all the rest,

But will he go,

Forty eight and oh,

If Manny can pass the piss test.


And now a few from my crack team of expert. Michael Fitzmaurice gets the credit for this cracker:


There once was a young man named Floyd,

Who was prone to becoming annoyed,

But the source of his mood,

Was a shame for the dude,

For he harbored a huuuuuuge hemroid.


These two were scribed by the diabolical historian Finbarr O’Keeffe:


There once was a boxer called Floyd,

And with most of his opponents he toyed,

But he ran so long from Manny,

That people called him a fanny,

Till the big fight he could no longer avoid.


When Floyd gets behind his jab,

He can look exceedingly fab,

But Manny has power,

And with punches he will shower,

Then the title he thinks he can grab.


And the final limerick regarding this super fight came from the standup comic Charles Greaves:


Floyd has ran a ruse,

And Manny was on the juice.

They’ll finally fight,

I don’t give a shite,

And I’d rather take a deuce.


So there it is, expert analysis of the mega fight of the millennium in simple rhyme form. Grab yourself a frosty beer, shell out your $100 for the pay-per-view, and rest assured that you are watching history unfold on May 2nd as the religious zealot chases the convicted woman beater around the ring for twelve rounds while eating potshots. My official prediction is that they will both make a lot of money.


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– Robert Holt

TWITTER: @HoltHorror