Man’s Real Best Friend: The Cat

Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you, for years I’ve said it; cats are man’s real best friend. Now just to clarify, I have nothing against dogs. After all, I have a dog. But when you analyze it and get into the nitty-gritty, which I will, cats are a far superior pet for a man. I mean, let’s look at some of the comparisons:

  • House training- cats instinctively shit in a sandbox. They do it once as a kitten and they’ll do it until they die. Dogs are horrible to house train. Kenneling them at night, letting them out on a routine schedule… not to mention the money spent on training pads and cleaning supplies. They’re a pain in the ass to house
  • Keeping the house clean- at most a cat will shed some and maybe unroll the toilet paper. You can safely leave a cat at home and there’s a damn good chance that it’ll be in the same damn spot when you get home later that evening. Dogs on the other hand… Dogs shed, plus they have that disgusting “wet dog smell.” Dogs will also rip your home apart. Cushions ripped and scattered, trash rummaged through, and all those wonderful little piles and wet spots they leave right where you
  • Attention- Dogs are needy. They will bug the shit out of you wanting attention and never leave you alone until you do. A cat, on the other hand, might come up and suggest that you pet it. If not, no big, it’ll go lay down in its favorite spot. Persistent cat? Piss it off and you won’t see it for a week.lapdog

I like to make the comparison that dogs are like a needy/clingy girlfriend; always wanting attention and to be on top of you. I once dated a girl who had a Great Dane that thought it was a Toy Poodle. Whereas cats are more like your bro. Let’s say you just got home from a long day at work. You’re tired and you just want to set down and watch some tv. You open the door and the dog will damn near knock you down with excitement that you’re home. Cats, however; might look up and acknowledge that you’re home.

You know the saying “take a road trip with your girl and your dog in the trunk and see which one is happy to see you when you open it”? Add a cat to that mix. Girlfriend will be pissed. Dog will be happy. And the cat would just look up like “‘Sup bro?”



– Cameron Blevins

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