Guys, are we the true gentleman we think we are?


gentleman

Image Credit: onewed.com

Lately many of the females I’ve been hanging around with at school, work or in social situations have been complaining about their “supposed Knights in shining armor”. When I heard that, I thought to myself the age old saying, “Don’t let a few spoiled apples ruin the bunch.” It kind of peeves me when people think a few other people represent a certain party or demographic/group. I’m sure many of us fellas have had the encounter of the female saying, “Men don’t do anything, he doesn’t pay attention to me, he’s lazy, he’s playing video games, he’s too into his fantasy football” blah, blah, blah. Now I’m not bragging and saying I’m better than most guys in that department, but I feel pretty good that I wouldn’t hear many of those complaints from a female.

After much thinking and debating and speaking with a few other guys I know, I’ve come up with a list of simple things us guys could do to put a smile on our pumpkins, bae’s, bb’s, babe’s, hun’s, whatever pet name you have for your treasured loved one.

Ladies, feel free to throw in some more suggestions as to what us guys could do to improve your day, better yet, if you feel your knight in shining armor deserves some recognition post that too. Guys, if you want to throw in suggestions or stories as well, we love hearing great stories!

1. Waiting patiently and attentively for our turn to speak
Everyone always has something to say, especially if it’s about our own selves. While it’s super tempting to brag or speak about something exciting we do, sometimes a moment’s patience can show that we care and are listening with attention. I find this pays off in the long run.

2. Punctuality
Arriving on time to your dates or to her house or wherever she wants to meet you shows that you are putting her first. Not only that, but it shows a great deal of responsibility and that you can be counted on. If you’re going to be late, notifying her is better than leaving her waiting and wondering if you’re safe or going to show up at all.

3. Phone Etiquette
In a world where many are always on their phones or tablets, it sometimes is hard to not look down at our phones for a text, tweet, Facebook notification, etc etc. If you really need to look at your phone, she will hopefully understand but other than that spend some quality time together not worrying about the outside world. There’s nothing like spending the night together only to find that both of you are on your phones. Put it on silent or turn it off, it’s about each of you for the rest of the night.

4. Saving the last bit of food
Guy’s, food is one of the staple items that defines us. While it’s also said that it’s one of the few things we always think about, I know it’s hard not to finish your shared meal with her. Leave the last bit of food for her and if she doesn’t want it, I find just leaving it alone is best, even if you are hungrier than you care to admit. It shows that she is more important that that last slice or piece of food.

5. Grooming
Brush your teeth, use mouthwash, comb your hair, shave your face, take care of that pimple, use lotion for dry skin….the list could go on for a few more lines but we all know that grooming is perhaps the most important or one of the most important ways to make an impact on a lady. Even if it’s just keeping a spritz or spray in your backpack or car, it’s better than wondering if you smell and create an awkward atmosphere. Just don’t overdo it, you can always spray more if needed but not the other way around. If you can’t keep up with your appearances, she may assume you can’t keep up with other aspects in your life.

6. Being Respectful
Of course this is implied on all dates but this also applies to everyone else as well. Treat your waiter/waitress with respect, keep your cool anywhere you go and more importantly treat her parents with respect. You don’t necessarily have to be a “kiss-ass” but keep the conversation going. If you can’t, maybe thinking of things to talk about beforehand can save you from the awkward silence. Overall, no one likes it when a guy causes a scene and creates discomfort for everyone, especially the date.

7. Going Out For a Walk
If you’re planning on going out on a chilly/windy day such as in the Spring or Fall, hold her jacket for her as she puts it on. Even if she says she can do it, the simple gesture shows that you care. Walk outside the sidewalk, let her take the safer-known paved sidewalk. There’s nothing like your significant other stepping in a small hole in the grass with high-heels especially or worse, stepping on a doggy doo surprise, which could potentially ruin the night. And don’t forget to open the door where you go, if it’s to the car, back inside the house or to a place of interest.

8. Money
It’s pretty much standard in today’s age that the man pays for everything on the first date. If you’re money conscience, go out to places that are within your budget. Google maps everything. From Chinese to Italian to vegan/vegetarian, dessert places afterwards, movie theaters and more, I find spending some time researching what’s in the area before going out can save time and show her that you know what you are doing. Quite the opposite can also be said in terms of money. I’ve heard many stories from quite the number of females I know that they were turned off by some of the men that flashed their money and pretended to be rich, and even if they were, there’s no excuse in being a show off like that. Part of being a gentleman also comes with being humble.

9. Gracious Gestures
While this one relates to the previous topic on the list in some ways, doing random acts of kindness here and there show her that you think about her outside of when you’re together. You don’t have to go out and buy her an expensive perfume or pricy bouquet of flowers, in my experience, just a box of assorted chocolates you bought when you went grocery shopping does the trick. A stuffed animal here, a flower there, filling her gas tank, tolerating her favorite chick flick, and again holding doors open, usually make a gal smile at the end of the day.

10. Properly Apologizing
Wouldn’t this be a nice world if we were all right in everything we did/said? This world would be perfect but of course it’s not. While the journey together can seem smooth and great for a while, there’s always that little bump in the road that reminds you that life isn’t perfect. If an argument or disagreement comes up and one expects another to apologize, if you know you’re wrong, apologize for what you’ve done. We’re adults, both parties should be able to recognize and admit their faults with no repercussion. If you can both come to a consensus, great! It takes a big man to stand up for what he believes in but it takes a bigger man to admit when he’s wrong and simply say, “I’m sorry.”

This list could go on for a while longer, but these were the more important things that stood out to me. While Chivalry and being a gentleman may seem like it’s an old-fashioned way of life, women out there still want their knight in shining armor. Men, if you’ve dealt with difficult women in the past, there’s plenty of fish in the sea. Again, don’t let a few spoiled apples ruin the bunch. Cheers.

 

– Fernando Martin

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