Funky Gorilla Fist – Chapter 9




There are things that human eyes can bear witness to that they were never meant

to be exposed to. Images they were never built to interpret and convey to brain

cells that weren’t built, designed, or programmed to comprehend such images. Things that will

forever make everything else look a little greyer. Things that will make your comprehension of

all further events duller, and pale by comparison.

The images alone of such events can harden forever your interpretation of,

what’s right or wrong

acceptable or deranged.

Events that henceforth on will set the bar higher when comparing new experiences to determine

the level at which they lay.

The events that followed the beeper call weren’t such events, not by a long shot. But we

will get to that in a moment.

First we will speak about an event that made it possible for you to carry out the actions

that followed that beeper call with such cold hearted precision.

What happened this one night is something that you have tried real hard to forget, but to

no avail.

It was a Tuesday night and you show up at the club at 4:30 a.m. for a little after hours

partying. You always show up at the club on Tuesday, after hours, after eight hours of partying at

various ladies’ nights in the area.

So you head around the back of the parking lot towards the back door. You work your

way past the dumpsters, around the mountain of empty kegs, and are greeted by a sight that can’t

be rightfully described in great detail.

You see what appears to be a person laying on the floor with 1, 2 and 4 standing over it

with bats.

The next thing that you notice is that it is,



and undulating in a most unnatural way.

It is making the most terrifying sound you have ever heard.

Now, contrary to what anybody else has ever tried to tell you, there is no accurate way to

describe what

death throes look like,

a death rattle sounds like.

You’ve seen death before.

Ugly, dirty death.

Swift and concise death.

But you never imagined anything like this ever existed,

It seems that this person-like thing was a guy that hit on Bobby’s fuck of the week and

then told Bobby to go fuck himself when he was asked to leave.

It also seems that they finished beating it about 3 minutes and 17 seconds ago. You know

this because 4 has been counting out the time since you walked up.




They are getting very excited now, as they took bets on how long it was gonna survive.

They put up a grand, apiece.

1 on 4 minutes

2 on 6 minutes

4 on 10 minutes

“4 minutes and 11 seconds.” and 1 goes back inside.

It is still moving.

“6 minutes and 9 seconds” and 2 goes back inside.

Still making that noise, you think, “Make it stop”

At 7 minutes 32 seconds, 4 hands you the watch.”Fuck it, I guess I won already, but let

me know if it makes the 10 minute mark.” He goes inside.

At 8 minutes 45 seconds it flips over and the sounds get worse.

If it was a dog, you’d put it down.

If it was a horse, you’d shoot it.

You pick up a bat, take a rough guess at where it’s occipital bone should be, and

hit the off switch.

You go in and tell the boys, “9 minutes flat.”

You don’t say anything else, and as you are walking out, 1 and 2 are counting out 4’s


You never look at the world with the same eyes again.





– Anthony Pepe

TWITTER: @AnthonyMFPepe
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