Funky Gorilla Fist – Chapter 3






Boy, do I remember that night. It was an unusually busy Saturday night at the
club. We were packed to the walls, the A/C was busted, and it was making for
quite an active night. We had seven bachelor parties in house and had already thrown two out.

Like thirty rats in a two rat hot box.

Then what do you know, some jerkoff jumps on stage, and guess what? It was the bachelor of the party.

Well, I get my hands on him just before he gets his hands on the girl. Of course then the whole party springs to their feet, but not before the other nine bouncers are already en route to the pending fray.
I pull him off the stage.

The best man punches me in the mouth.
His Dad hits me with a bottle.
They are both tackled.
I get the guy to the door, let him go, he swings, I kick him in the sternum, I hear,

CRACK, “GASP!” He falls.

As I hold the door for one of the other bouncers to toss two other guys, I realize that one of my front teeth is hanging by a thread (or nerve more likely.) So I reach up, pop it back in
place, and head back into the club like a Gorilla on speed.

No more taking them outside first, if you are within arm’s reach it is time to take a nap.

You see, any club goer knows that when there is trouble you get as far away as possible.

Sort of like in prison movies, when there is a fight, all the other inmates instinctively, line up against the wall

So now the best man’s brother is holding off two of the other bouncers with a chair. To be honest, I think he was just in shock that I walked straight at him because he didn’t even swing the chair. He just sort of stood there like a deer in the headlights as I hit him so hard I literally break his face.

You see, your sinuses are behind your cheekbone. And in case you didn’t know, your sinuses are hollow and your cheekbone is relatively thin, like a clay pot, and your eye sits on top of what amounts to the ceiling of your sinus.

Well, I shattered this guys cheekbone,

Think hammer,

Think clay pot.

All the fragments of his cheekbone and his eye fall into his sinus. So, think dent. Think big, big dent in this guys face and no eye in the socket. Well, as he falls he hits his head on the stage and a pool of blood starts to spread behind his head.

I’m still looking at the dent in his face when the girl on stage leans down and yells to me over the music,

“You know something, the blood under the blacklight, mixed with the neon and flashing lights, sort of looks like an oily puddle of water on the blacktop in the sunlight”

It was then that I knew that I had to get to know this girl.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“Jennifer,” she says.



– Anthony Pepe

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