Fat-Ass Jeans

I keep hearing and seeing the words “skinny jeans” all over the place. Is this a real thing or just a ploy by the hipster community to get us to all wear ZZ Top beards?

zz top

Men, woman and children included. After the beards we all move into $5000 a month lofts in SoHo and pay $19 for vegan gluten-free cupcakes. Then we wash them down with a $15 crap-a-chino. After which we buy 400 Von Dutch hats and matching scarfs that all look exactly the same but we swear have major differences. I guess we all have to become 35 year old NYU trust fund brats.

skinny jeans

Let’s face facts… skinny jeans are done! We are a nation of fats ass dudes and we are that not that hipster community vision of what we should be. There is a McDonalds, Burger King or Wendy’s on every corner and I’m not giving them up just for a pair of nut-hugging jeans! So say “Good-bye skinny jeans” and “Hello fat-ass jeans!” which I will be wearing till my 3rd chin falls into a vat of Wendy’s chili!



– Mike Bocchetti



TWITTER: @mikebocchetti

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