Fake Tough Guy

Since the dawn of time (aka the cave man days) dudes have liked being (and sometimes just acting like) tough guys! America’s have been obsessed with it for as long back as I can remember. From Humphrey Bogart to The Terminator and back. And everyone seems to love these “Tough Guys”. Especially chicks!


My first and only attempt at being a “Tough Guy” was in high school. I bought a leather jack and acted like I was the Fonz. Let me tell you, I was very convincing. I was 75 lbs over weight and had more acne on my face than Alfred E Newman had freckles (my attempt at sarcasm lol). But I did get the chance to be a fake tough guy for a little while.


My childhood friend’s step-dad was a bookie (I didn’t know that until I got older). As luck would have it, I was working in a deli in a seedy part of town doing my job. All the wanna be “Tough Guys” where there breaking balls when low and behold, my friend’s step-dad (the bookie) came in. I hadn’t seen him since childhood. The jaw of every “Tough Guys” in the room dropped when he walked over and gave me a giant bear hug. He said “Mickey!” (my child hood nickname) “What’s going on?”.

He had apparently moved up the bookie ladder over the years. People (especially the “Tough Guys”) where terrified of him, so once he left the “Tough Guys” where in awe. They asked if I knew him so I said in as cool of a voice as I could “Yeah… we are VERY close!” even though it was the first time I had seen him since childhood.

From that moment on, the “Tough Guys” feared me and kissed my ass. In fact the guy next door found out and started giving me expensive lunches on at his restaurant for free because he thought I was close to my bookie “friend”.

Hoary for the powers of being a fake tough guy for a day!


– Mike Bocchetti



TWITTER: @mikebocchetti

INSTAGRAM: mikebocchetti