Ex Messages

Have you ever logged on to social media, or perhaps checked your phone and surprisingly found a message from that ex that you haven’t talked to in years? This recently happened to me and looking back at it now, I was kind of on pins and needles wondering what she could possibly want. Naturally, I replied and as I awaited her next message, I began to cultivate ideas as to what she could want.

the ex

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To talk about seeing each other? This is probably the first thought that goes through anyone’s mind when an ex messages them. Whether you think it to be a good thing or a bad thing, it’s usually the first thought. This could mean anything from hanging out and catching up over a cup of coffee to a full blown attempt at reconciliation. After all, we’ve all had that thought at one point or another when reflecting on past relationships: “I should call them up! Maybe we can get back together!” If you’re having this thought, please check out my past article The “Ex” Dilemma. I’m not an advocate for dating ex’s. It never ends well.

Now because of the distance between us, I knew that there was a slim chance she wanted to hang out. Since the time of our romantic fire, she’s relocated to her hometown about 2 hours away. Hanging out is possible, but very unlikely. And I knew she didn’t want to get back together because well… She’s married now. So what else could she want?

Just to talk? That’s definitely a possibility. However, I’m skeptical on this one for one major reason. The last time we talked did not end on good terms. In fact, it resulted in her deleting me from social media and not talking to me for nearly two years. During which time she got married. In my experience, once I piss a woman off to that measure, we don’t “just chat” ever again. I’m not saying I’m a dick… but if you’ve read any of my articles, you know that I don’t take any bullshit and I call it when I see it. This tends to put a stress on my romantic life considering I’m yet to find a woman who is both willing to put up with my attitude and someone who I can stand to be around. So considering our past, I scratched that one off the list. To top it off, I can’t even remember what I’d said or done to make her delete me in the first place.


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Info on the region/school/work/media? This seemed most plausible to me. She’s not from my region, but did go to college here for a few years. Therefore, it was entirely possible she was wanting some information on school or job opportunities here. I’m in the Huntington, WV area and it’s much larger than the area she’s currently in. To give you a good idea of our geographical region, think of Mayberry from The Andy Griffith Show; that’s her home town. It’s also every little town surrounding Huntington. As for Huntington, WV… think of the smallest “big” town you know. Now cut that in half and double the drug problem. Welcome to the Tristate! (KY, OH, WV)

As for the media aspect of that possibility, we both studied media in college. She went through the program after I did, so naturally I have much more experience than she does and I figured it was somewhat likely she needed help with something. Even I’m not above going to someone I hate for help when I’m in need of info.

Was any of these correct? I have no idea. We’ve chatted on and off for a few days now and I have no real idea why we’re talking. The only thing I can figure is this last one:

She wants to gauge her life choices versus how well I’m doing. She wants to keep tabs on me. My best guess is that she’s unsure about the choices she’s made and wants to see how I am in measure. Am I doing better than her? Am I making tons of money? Am I still at the radio station? Was she wrong to not give it another shot? (Before my “No Ex’s” Policy, I’d tried to get back together with her.) It’s the same reason anyone goes to a high school reunion; to see how you stack up in comparison to them these days. Now I’m sure there’ll be some people reading who are avid believers that “they just wanna chat; no one does that.” Really? Think about it really hard for a second. You’ve never looked your ex up on Facebook to see what they’re into these days? Don’t lie to me. You have just like I have. We’re all guilty of it. So it’s entirely possible that this is the reason she messaged me… Do I know for sure? Nope. Will I ever? Probably not.


– Cameron Blevins