Craftman 2D (Video Game Review)



Genre: Platformer
Release Date: July 20, 2012
Platform: iOS, iPad, iPhone
Price: $1.99 (If it’s even still in the app store by the time you read this)



 Image Credit: itSon5


Developer itSon5 starts its description of its game with: “Craftman is a 2D/3D Platformer Never seen before on the AppStore.” Never a truer statement has been said in an AppStore description. Not only had the App Store never seen it, they still haven’t. Not only is Craftman not the name of the actual game you get but it looks nothing like it’s screenshots.

The description then goes to say: “Craftman is a 2D Platformer game. You play with that Craftman Character in world. Use double jump controls, jump of walls and defeat anything on your path.” It goes on to list the presence of Game Center support and Achievements, “amazing visuals”, new “interactive gameplay”, good controls and Minecraft-esque elements. Unfortunately none of that is true.

What you get instead is a half finished, broken platformer game called “Cheeseman” about a blurry, cheese-like hero who looks more like a sponge. You will run around an “amazing” world filled with square blocks of rain that almost look like floating outdoor windows in an otherwise sunny day. You will “marvel” at trees that appear to be in a wind storm, standing next to trees that are not. And you will try not to perish at the hands of giant blurry spikes that are missing pixels and are in the background, yet can somehow kill you in the foreground. And you will try not to scream in frustration as the broken controls force you to jump and run in the wrong direction, or jump and run when you don’t even press a button.


With a little more time in development, “Cheeseman” might not have been a bad game. Now it will live on as a super-scam that Apple should have never allowed into the AppStore.

P.S. After a little research I have discovered that the developer has also released two other “games” in the AppStore that are really just Cheeseman in disguise. Look out for Terraria and The Flintstones from itSons5 or I like to call them “$1.99 Cheeseman” and “$0.99 Cheeseman”.













– Keith White Jr.

Follow Me @KeefWhiteJr