Entertainment


Crown Royal’s Crown Your Hero!

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Once again Crown Royal is doing their amazing “Crown Your Hero “, if you are unfamiliar with this great program it allows adults to vote for their own hero. The winner get’s to have their name put on this year’s Brickyard 400 race trophy. If you remember, Crown Royal kindly invited us to cover the weekend last year and it was spectacular. The 2015 winner, Jeff Kyle, could not have been more deserving of the honor.

This year is the 10 year anniversary of the Crown Royal’s “Crown Your Hero” program at NASCAR’s premiere event, the Brickyard 400. The program focuses on all of the unsung heroes who make a difference in their communities, from firefighters and police officers to first responders and local volunteers.

I highly encourage everyone 21 and over to go HERE and vote for one of the 5 very deserving finalists to be the 2016 winner. You can read up on each one of them at the above link. If you’d like, you can also view a video of all the finalists HERE.

 

 

Adam Dulski

@adamdulski

Team Themed Cocktails & Food Pairings for the Big Game

With the upcoming big game, we’d like to help you celebrate with a couple Big Bowls of batch cocktails.


Cheering for the Cats: Make your party special by pairing the Keep Pounding Punch with the Dab On ‘Em Wings.

Big Cats Food Pairings


Rooting on the Orange & Blue: Impress guests with the Orange Crush Punch and Bucking BBQ Bites.

Orange and Blue Food Pairings


House divided? Celebrate with The Golden Gate cocktail. Bulleit Bourbon is deeply tied to the Bay Area through founder Tom Bulleit’s love for the city. In fact, Bulleit Rye was created in direct response to requests from the San Francisco bartending community.

Regardless of the team, we hope you whip up these cocktails to celebrate 50 years of professional football.


The Golden Gate

The Golden Gate

1.25 oz. Bulleit Rye
0.5 oz. blackberry syrup
2 dashes bitters

Directions:
Add ingredients to an ice-filled rocks glass. Stir and serve.


Keep Pounding Punch

KEEP POUNDING PUNCH (Serves 25):
*recipe created by Kevin Deidrich

Ingredients:
750 ml. Bottle of George Dickel Rye
10 oz. Lemon Juice
5 oz. Ginger Syrup
15 oz. Sparkling Water
7 tbsp. Simple Syrup
Muddled Raspberries
Muddled Mint leaves

Directions:
Mix ingredients in punch bowl, add muddled fruits, chill and serve with ice.


Dab on 'Em Wings

DAB ON ‘EM WINGS

Ingredients:
.3 cup Crown Royal Canadian Whisky®
.3 cup Honey
.25 cup Soy sauce
2 Tablespoons Thai chili sauce
1 packet (0.75-ounce) stir-fry seasoning
2 teaspoons crushed garlic
4 pounds chicken wing drumettes
3 scallions (green onions), finely chopped (optional)
.25 cup chopped peanuts (optional)

Directions:
In a large bowl, combine whisky, honey, soy sauce, chili sauce, stir-fry seasoning, and garlic. Add drumettes, tossing to coat. Cover with plastic wrap and marinate in refrigerator for at least 3 hours, preferably overnight.

Set up grill for direct cooking over medium-high heat. Oil grate when ready to start cooking. Let drumettes stand at room temperature for 30 minutes. Place on hot, oiled grill. Cook for 12 to 18 minutes or until cooked through, turning occasionally. Transfer chicken to a platter. Sprinkle with chopped scallions and peanuts (optional).


Orange Crush Punch

ORANGE CRUSH PUNCH (Serves 6):

Ingredients:
9 oz. CAPTAIN MORGAN® Coconut Rum
9 oz. Orange juice
6 oz. Cranberry juice
3 oz. Ruby red grapefruit juice

Directions:
Combine all ingredients including Captain Morgan Coconut Rum in a pitcher and stir.


Bucking Bacon Bites

BUCKING BBQ BITES
*recipe created by George Johnson from The Comfort of Cooking

Chicken Recipe:
Nonstick cooking spray
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch cubes
8 oz. (half pound) bacon, cut into thirds
1/2 cup Spicy Sweet BBQ Sauce (recipe below)
Toothpicks

Directions:
Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Line a large baking sheet with aluminum foil. Spray lightly with cooking spray. Wrap each chicken piece with a small strip of bacon. Secure with a toothpick and place on the baking sheet. Brush with BBQ sauce. Bake for 15 minutes. Remove pan from oven, brush bites with more BBQ sauce, and return to oven. Bake for 15 more minutes. Serve warm.

Sauce Recipe:

1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1/2 cup chile sauce
1/2 cup Captain Morgan® Original Spiced Rum
1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup ketchup
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 teaspoon ground dry mustard
Ground black pepper, to taste

Directions:
Combine all ingredients in a medium saucepan over low heat. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer 30 minutes, or until thickened as desired. Stir occasionally. Use immediately as you wish, or store in refrigerator until ready to use.

 

 

 

-SDL Staff

NOT THE CHEERLEADERS!

Maybe columnist Molly Ivins was right – Texas lawmakers ARE crazy. At least this is what my neighbor, Lyle, is also saying when he read about Houston representative, Al Edwards, proposing a law to ban dirty dancing by cheerleaders.

cheerleader

 Image Credit: elivecricketstream.wordpress.com

Lyle points out this quote by Edwards: “They’re shaking their behinds and breaking it down.” Under Edwards’ bill, if a school district knowingly permits such a performance state funds will be reduced in an amount to be determined by the education commissioner. We’re thinking $ 500 for a grind, $ 1000 bucks per bump, $ 2000 for having Big Busty on top of the pyramid. Short skirts, possibly okay, as long as everyone is river dancing.

“This is unAmerican,” says Lyle, “they’re going to have to pry my sexy cheerleader out of my cold dead hands. What a cheerleader does in the privacy of her own stadium is nobody’s business but her own. If she wants to shake a little booty and you don’t want to watch it, you can keep your eyes on her boobs.”

We don’t know if we’ve ever seen Lyle so worked up. We are sure this is probably not a good way to spend taxpayer’s money. We’re also a little confused by the words “sexy.” We can’t figure what part of slender, attractive females in short skirts, tight tops doing high leg kicks and panty exposing flips does not qualify as “sexy”? Is Mr. Edwards proposing the Texas schools take a note out of the Amish Cheerleading guide and wear full length skirts and bonnets? “Churn, churn, churn that butter!” “Go thy team!” Where was Mr. Edwards when we needed him – when Elvis Presley was coming up?

“This is just plain nuts,” says Lyle. “I just bought a brand new camcorder. Now what am I going to do? Next thing the legislature is going to say is that you can’t carry a concealed cheerleader in your car. They’ll be a seven day waiting period before you can take home a cheerleader. This is ridiculous. Texans needs to stick to things they know something about, like executing jaywalkers and running over armadillos.”

We’re not sure how the exact wording of the law will pan out, but those in the cheerleading industry don’t seem to be as fearful as Lyle. J.M. Farias, of the Austin Cheer Factory, says his industry will welcome the law and that cheering competitions already penalize for suggestive or vulgar movements.

SEXY-cheerleaders

 Image Credit: palgts.com

“But that’s just the beginning,” says Lyle. “Once the camel gets his nose under the skirt, there’s no telling where he’ll go next.” I hate to tell Lyle he’s messing with the metaphors, again.

“When the founders of our country wrote our laws do you think they worried about what you could or couldn’t shake? They had other worries, like termites in their wooden teeth. Like sword fighting with their mighty pens. They made no laws about cheerleaders.”

I think of telling Lyle that, maybe, the founders had no cheerleaders. “What about the Painettes?” smirks Lyle. I’m sorry I was thinking or asked. Now I have to hear about Thomas Paine and his famous Painettes. “Do you remember These are The Times to Try New Shoes? Go George, Go George, Cross that Delaware.”

Please Lyle, take your camcorder and your placard. Head down to Austin and keep that bill from passing. Your country needs you.

Sexy_cheerleader_photos10

 Image Credit: palgts.com

 

– Stan Silliman

WEB: stansilliman.com
sillimanonsports.com

TWITTER: @stansilliman

FACEBOOK: stan.silliman

Hillary Wipes IHOP Server…

Funny faces: Hillary Clinton

E-mails Are Gone, So Is The Syrup

 

Hillary Clinton loses 30,000 top secret e-mails placed in the care of her IHOP server instead of a more secure Applebee’s hostess.

The former Secretary of State has gone on the record saying that, “this is one big mistake, I wanted to go to Denny’s and get the Grand Slam Breakfast, but IHOP was the first place we saw.“

House Republicans are insinuating that the former First Lady wiped the server clean in an attempt to obstruct the House’s investigations. Hillary Clinton insists that the cleanup was strictly a humanitarian effort, “Did you take a look at her? She had syrup and jam all over her face, neck and apron, she needed to be cleaned up; it was the least I could do. I am for the working people.

The Justice Department ordered Clinton to release almost 2,000 e-mails taking up almost 4,000 pages of text, memes, including close to 837 pieces of digital correspondence asking if she was satisfied with the size of her penis, another 714 looking for hot singles in her area, 12 coupons to Bath and Body Works, and 43 bounce backs from messages intended for former president Bill Clinton. Hillary later found out that former president Clinton recently updated to a .porn account. The mistake was promptly fixed, by forwarding the missing messages to Bill Clinton’s Ashley Madison Account.

In late July, a grand jury issued a court order for Clinton’s staff to turn over the IHOP server to the United States Department of Justice, and she is now working as an assistant attorney specializing in ethics violations.

In related news…

Through the investigation our condolences were sent to the Clinton and Rodham families. It was recently discovered that three of her long lost relatives have passed away while holding office in Nigeria. The combined inheritance will total over $15 Million, as soon as she sends her personal financial information so the Nigerian government can deposit the funds.

 

 

If you like this story, or would like to just say hi, you can reach me at:

FACEBOOK: PunkyBrewStars
TWITTER: @punky_brew_stars
UNTAPPD: jorgi40
EMAIL: bradjohnson40@gmail.com

 

 

– Brad Johnson

The Lost Razor

Meet Steve, he is tall, who typically wears jeans that he found at a local thrift shop. Recently dabbled in a few nineties flannels as well since, appearance as of late has not been his main concern. Not that long ago he celebrated his thirty-first birthday, alone in his tiny apartment, with his cat Frumpy. Life has been quiet and peaceful for quite sometime. Nothing interesting happens to him, since he started following a straight arrow routine for himself. He goes to work as an accountant, looking at numbers instead of people, and then goes home. Making himself a variety of frozen dinners that he places in his small old rusted toaster oven, followed by grabbing a nice cold lager. He then tends to settle down on his deformed couch that Frumpy has taken a hold of by ripping it to shreds over the last few years, and puts on the History Channel to catch up on some knowledgeable insights. This has been his life until one day he lost his razor.

cat

 Image Credit: drpinna.com

These days it is fairly simple to go out and buy a new fresh blade, to remove fuzz of all types and sorts of areas, however, this razor was a classic. A special gift he once received from a girlfriend he once had and when days were filled with a brighter future for Steve. It was the one item he had left to cherish a memory about the one that got away. The one who will never return, even after his several drunken email attempts, sending her careless updates including cute photos of Frumpy in hopes that would send out an “awwa” response. Steve has heard nothing from his treasured romance he will never forget that lasted for a brief three months and ended over five years ago. Steve didn’t want to buy a new razor, he didn’t want a replacement, the old one was the only one he wanted to hold on to. The only one that knew where to go without cutting him open and spewing out a ghastly amount of blood. It had the perfect touch and it was gone forever. At this frightening realization, solitary has become his official reality

A few weeks pass by and a lengthy amount of stubbled fuzz has grown. Steve walks into the office, keeping to himself as always since, talking to people leads to heartbreaking disappointment. However, on this day, he noticed a few of his colleagues looking at him differently. Even Melody in the HR department looked over with a blushing stare. Steve takes out his phone to see his reflection and notices his beard and stache has grown a lot faster than he thought.

beard

 Image Credit: ripleys.com

Not used to the attention, he goes out for the first time in five years and hangs out at a local dive bar. Sitting there with a 20oz lager, he stares at the fizz while stroking his freshly fleshed out beard. A strapping young woman in her early-mid twenties appears next to him, flirtatiously sipping on her vodka cranberry. Steve glances over and notices her while doing a double take not used to having someone recognize him. He nods his head and lifts his hand slightly for a brief hello and carries on with his drink and well, nothing else. The young early-mid twenties chick, senses a challenge is approaching. She tosses her long dark hair around, purposely coughs and “surprisingly” notice her drink has finished. Steve looks over at the now pouty woman and nicely offers to buy her a drink in hopes she would leave him alone. She perks up and says “thank you…” At this point she realized they haven’t exchanged names. She continues, “My name is Ruth, do you have a name that goes along with your adorable face?” Steve startled slightly, looked at Ruth and decided to speak back, “Steve.” Ruth noticed his shyness and enjoyed it however, she decided to order a round of fireball shots.

As the evening progressed after over one hundred bucks worth of booze went down their throats, Steve was able to take a liking into Ruth. Flushed face and all, he moved his body directly towards hers, as he flirtatiously grabbed her hand shortly after the two indulged in a chuckling joke. Their bodies swayed closer towards each other as, the daring Ruth caved into Steve’s fuzzed patch, cutting her lips and chin, and heading directly to his lips as she found a magical way to stick her tongue inside. Steve’s eyes sprang wide open out of complete shock, he pulled her away. At this point the aggressive Ruth pushed herself back in and kissed even further and deeper, until Steve was unable to push back.

woman-flirting

 Image Credit: eligiblemagazine.com

Minutes later Ruth abruptly ended the kiss, she wiped the slobber off of her now rashed face while, Steve indulged in the left over saliva that has dripped into the sea of his sharp and hairy abyss. He briefly looks down at his now bulged pants and back at Ruth and asks, “do you want to go back to my place?” Ruth gently placed her hand over his and cries out, “no.” The baffled Steve, curls away in shyness as, Ruth leaves him with her business card and says, “my cell is on there, feel free to use it.”

The following day, Steve walked into his local pharmacy and purchased a brand new razor of his own. He ran into the bathroom and shaved his homeless looking do until he looked brand new. As he walked out of the bathroom he noticed Frumpy playing with a random piece of paper. He scared Frumpy off to grab this object which happened to be Ruth’s business card. He looked at the card and shortly decided to take out his phone to begin his new romantic journey.

 

 

– Zenae D. Zukowski

TWITTER: @Zenaefilmz
FACEBOOK

How to turn things around when your start-up is shutting-down

Look, you had big dream and high hopes. That’s great – but it’s not enough. You have to have a couple fundamental principles down pact before starting any new venture or implementing massive organizational change in an existing company. There is a colossal difference between what you need to succeed to be a small business, and what it takes to succeed as a large company. But whatever you’re trying to do – these ten factors are going to make or break you.

 

This is a fast-read user’s guide to You. A How-To for You-the-Leader, coach, mentor, manager, entrepreneur, and blood-to-tears investor in your struggling organization.

 

1. Leadership. The simple and widely misunderstood fact of leadership is what you are supposed to do in that office. Do this:

1. Don’t stay it; get out and see the folks.

2. Stay in it; let them do their thing.

You are there to inspire others to be the best they can be. You are not there to be better than them. Again, you are not supposed to prove you are the SME, you are supposed to inspire others to be SMEs. Inspire, don’t perspire, your employees. Your obsession with the nit-noids of the production process can get in everyone’s way. Change brushes… use broad strokes… leave the details to the next group of leaders. See, leadership is largely interchangeable. In fact, and history proves this, an SME leading SMEs in the same field is a blinded mess. They call it “General Manager” and not “Micro-manager” for a salient reason. Leadership’s main qualification is understanding leadership. Before being CEO of Ford, Alan Mulally was person of the year in Aviation Week & Space Technology in 2006 for his work at Boeing. The current commissioner of the NHL, Gary Bruce Bettman, started in 1993 after leaving being the SVP and General Counsel for the NBA. Leadership is not the same type of doer-ship it took to earn the post as leader.

I-want-people

2. Get your failures right. If you get this right, everything else will be right. Do you know what failure looks like and how to talk about it? Failure is a signal that something went wrong, not necessarily someone went wrong. If you cannot separate the two, your staff will not separate the two. Learn from failure. Debrief it. Grow from it. Do you have a culture where failure is part of growth? Do you have blind spots of loyalty for people or processes that have failed you time and again? Once or twice, good… A habit of always late, wrong, over-budget, full of excuses, finger-pointing, etc?… after the 4th time with no correction by you, their failure is yours alone. Yet, do not discourage failure (that’s how people learn). Do you punish failure (this can be stated as: Do you discourage innovative thought)? Last thing on failure – talk about it. The failure to communicate effectively -and often- has been the downfall of leaders since the beginning of time.

3. Stop treating your Marketing staff like the Arts & Crafts department. The onset of the internet has changed the way your clients and partners can access information about you and your products. No longer can you expect them to take you at your word that your product is the best, cheapest, most awesome whatever it is out there. You can bet they have already, or will before signing, look it up on the web and find out what to ask about and what to pay for it. Your marketing department knows how to handle this challenge, beat it, and push your team in a direction where those web searches conclude in your favor. Do not be so keen to engineer a solution that you forget to ask Marketing if someone is asking for it. Do not be so eager to build a design that you forget to ask Marketing if it is marketable.

R&D and Marketing should Red Team your ideas before any rivets start being popped.

craft-fails

4. Network or don’t work. Yes on LinkedIn, but more importantly network within your staff. Collaborate to innovate. Allow cross-pollination of disciplines across the employees for maximum effective use of talent. This will increase corporate loyalty, buy-in, retention, and lower risk of un-checked designs and decisions getting further than they need to.

5. Read. Read books. You’re not alone. You’re not inventing the problems you have. You’re not the only person to deal with what you are. Reading other perspectives will check yours. You’ll either solidify your resolve, or you’ll gain insight into another way which may be more effective. Do not spend your free time poking through 140 characters at a time. Read books. If you are against reading business books, read mysteries and crime novels. The cognitive process of multi-layered stories and problem solving are the closest thing to the cognitive skills you’ll need at work. Your brain can get a pot belly too. Work it out. Suggestions at: jamesjfrey.com/links-of-interest.html

6. Work-out. You have more time to work out than you have time to spend in a hospital after a mental breakdown or heart attack. This is not a paper that kind of mental health, but the short of it is you need water and blood in your brain. Drink a lot of water and increase the circulation up there daily to clear out the plaque (yes, you get plaque in the folds of your brain like you do between your teeth and in your arteries). The plaque build-up in your brain is linked to stress, depression, stroke, dementia, Alzheimer’s, mood disorders, and all kinds of other bad stuff that 20 minutes of accelerated heart rate can combat (ask your doctor before beginning any diet or exercise routine).

7. Be an example. If you get this right, your people will be eager to perform for you. Make sure you are consistent with what you expect from them, persistent and credible about it, and create an atmosphere of trust where they truly believe that you believe in them. If they can’t tell what you expect, you won’t get it. If they can’t see your enthusiasm, where will they get theirs from? Why should your staff wear the company polo if you do not? Why should they be in early if you are not? Why should they… and on and on. You get the picture. Practice what you preach. But don’t preach: show.

Leadership is not a title; think of Judge Reinhold in Beverly Hills Cop. Every time he got a promotion, his title got bigger. By part III he was the DDOJSIOC (Deputy Director of Operations for Joint Systems Interdepartmental Operational Command) and still played a yutz.

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8. Communicate. It cannot be over-stated: communicate. Communicate your vision, goal, process, praise, and problems. Do not politically pick and choose whom to tell; you’ll leave someone out. Trust your people to be trusted in carrying out your vision. Do not treat information like currency; they will get the information somehow anyway, but your failure to trust them will engender bias against you as their leader (mentor, trusted coach, etc).

9. Appreciate your people. Just as in marriage, if you fail to appreciate the person you are with, someone else will. The days of “earning your stripes” are over – your new hires expect to be brought into the fold immediately and to be allowed to contribute immediately. If you, or your senior staff, treat them like they are not important, another company will. You will essentially be training your competition’s next wave of experienced employees.

people

10. Focus. In all this mess, don’t forget why you got into this business. Don’t lose sight of whatever it was that inspired you to get this far. As things change, and they will, take a couple steps back. New Day, New Problem, New Plan needed. Do not lose focus on the goal – and the goal wasn’t 84-hour work weeks, poor health, an empty house, staff that resents you, and a product you can’t sell.

 

 

– Dr. James J Frey

TWITTER: @jamesjfrey
jamesjfrey.com

Funky Gorilla Fist – Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

 

 

There are things that human eyes can bear witness to that they were never meant

to be exposed to. Images they were never built to interpret and convey to brain

cells that weren’t built, designed, or programmed to comprehend such images. Things that will

forever make everything else look a little greyer. Things that will make your comprehension of

all further events duller, and pale by comparison.

The images alone of such events can harden forever your interpretation of,

what’s right or wrong

acceptable or deranged.

Events that henceforth on will set the bar higher when comparing new experiences to determine

the level at which they lay.

The events that followed the beeper call weren’t such events, not by a long shot. But we

will get to that in a moment.

First we will speak about an event that made it possible for you to carry out the actions

that followed that beeper call with such cold hearted precision.

What happened this one night is something that you have tried real hard to forget, but to

no avail.

It was a Tuesday night and you show up at the club at 4:30 a.m. for a little after hours

partying. You always show up at the club on Tuesday, after hours, after eight hours of partying at

various ladies’ nights in the area.

So you head around the back of the parking lot towards the back door. You work your

way past the dumpsters, around the mountain of empty kegs, and are greeted by a sight that can’t

be rightfully described in great detail.

You see what appears to be a person laying on the floor with 1, 2 and 4 standing over it

with bats.

The next thing that you notice is that it is,

twitching,

writhing,

and undulating in a most unnatural way.

It is making the most terrifying sound you have ever heard.

Now, contrary to what anybody else has ever tried to tell you, there is no accurate way to

describe what

death throes look like,

a death rattle sounds like.

You’ve seen death before.

Ugly, dirty death.

Swift and concise death.

But you never imagined anything like this ever existed,

It seems that this person-like thing was a guy that hit on Bobby’s fuck of the week and

then told Bobby to go fuck himself when he was asked to leave.

It also seems that they finished beating it about 3 minutes and 17 seconds ago. You know

this because 4 has been counting out the time since you walked up.

“3-17″

“3-25″

“3-47″

They are getting very excited now, as they took bets on how long it was gonna survive.

They put up a grand, apiece.

1 on 4 minutes

2 on 6 minutes

4 on 10 minutes

“4 minutes and 11 seconds.” and 1 goes back inside.

It is still moving.

“6 minutes and 9 seconds” and 2 goes back inside.

Still making that noise, you think, “Make it stop”

At 7 minutes 32 seconds, 4 hands you the watch.”Fuck it, I guess I won already, but let

me know if it makes the 10 minute mark.” He goes inside.

At 8 minutes 45 seconds it flips over and the sounds get worse.

If it was a dog, you’d put it down.

If it was a horse, you’d shoot it.

You pick up a bat, take a rough guess at where it’s occipital bone should be, and

hit the off switch.

You go in and tell the boys, “9 minutes flat.”

You don’t say anything else, and as you are walking out, 1 and 2 are counting out 4’s

bootie.

You never look at the world with the same eyes again.

 

 

 

 

– Anthony Pepe

TWITTER: @AnthonyMFPepe
FACEBOOK: anthonyfpepe
EMAIL: FunkyGorillaFist@hotmail.com

That Brady Thing

tombr

 Image Credit: CBS

At first blush, it seemed Tom Brady’s four game suspension would be upheld.

However, it appears as though Brady will not go so easily into the wife.

Tom Brady and the NFL Players Association filed a lawsuit against the NFL in federal court to lift the 4-game suspension, and are waiting the decision of Judge Richard Berman come September 4th.

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell wants to uphold the suspension, especially after it was discovered that Tom Brady had his phone destroyed.

The same phone that he refused to turn over, that contained over 10,000 texts.

What’s funny is, Brady didn’t even destroy the phone himself. His assistant destroyed it while Tom sipped his chamomile tea and drew pictures of frowns.

“The league has no hard evidence,” Kraft says. “I’ve come to the conclusion that this was never about doing what was right or just.”

Tom got serious about his stance and took to Facebook:

“We even contacted the phone company to see if there was any possible way we could retrieve any/all of the actual text messages from my old phone.”

Really, dude? You DESTROYED your phone.

tom-brady-cellphone

 Image Credit: larrybrownsports.com

Well, actually, someone with a little more balls did, but nonetheless..you had your phone destroyed and didn’t tell anyone about it for months.

So ugh, yeah. If I’m Tom Brady, I’d be thinking about how easy I may be really getting off here (and it’s not because I watch my wife get with the pool guy).

“To suggest that I destroyed a phone to avoid giving the NFL information it requested is completely wrong,” Brady said.

Notice how he says A phone – already distancing himself from it?

Yes, A phone was destroyed.

Brady’s agent, Don Yee, had to explain why Tom would do such an irreverent thing; like hurt an object that could very well be giving him testicular cancer.

Digesting how things unfolded, you come across a couple of interesting things..

First for Brady, it was withholding evidence. Then – destroying it. And the Patriots actually have the audacity to claim they’re innocent after that? I’m sorry, but Tom Brady is no Joe Pesci, and not everyone is so convinced.

The NFL already offered to reduce Brady’s suspension if he would just admit his wrongdoing, and he declined. Which I like, because maybe Brady shouldn’t get off so easy.

Brady should say no to two games less and say YES to Pete Rose introducing him as ‘the model citizen’ before throwing a deflated ball at his nutts. That’d be a good game of ball, dude.

“Tom Brady is a person with great integrity,” Robert Kraft says.
“Personally, this is very sad and disappointing.”

Like the Patriots not having a diamond asterisk on their championship ring(s)?

There’s a chance that Brady is innocent, and that the documents his party sent to the league that apparently contain those texts are all there, and inspected clean.

There’s also a chance that I’ll be able to levitate when I yoga.

The NFLPA is hellbent on changing the outcome here, and there are some legitimate questions that remain for some, like why NFL commissioner Roger Goodell didn’t interview Patriots official locker room attendant Jim McNally and equipment assistant John Jestremski about their involvement in the deflation(s)?

Well, the NFLPA explained that since both men denied any involvement in the deflation of footballs, there was, “no need to call them as witnesses.”

The NFL then concluded that “their testimony would have confirmed Brady’s involvement”.

Let’s say Goodell had called Jestremski and McNally, and they don’t snitch on Brady. Then, Goodell doesn’t really have a case. Goodell NOT calling them gave him more reason to uphold Brady’s four game suspension without having to rely on ‘ball science’.

There is truly some shadiness going on for both sides, however. Tom Brady being disciplined under the “Gameday operations manual” policy, which has never been made available to players, isn’t exactly fair – but interesting. That’s for sure.

Long story short: the NFL is getting Brady for conduct detrimental to the integrity of the game (AND – they called his kid fat).

The NFLPA thinks that the NFL can’t impose a suspension for these cheating violations.

Meanwhile, the NFL thinks that the NFLPA should STFU.

Goodell is apparently doing some things right, at least if you ask Hall-Of-Famer (former Raiders scout & executive) Ron Wolf: “Way to go on that Brady thing,” Wolf said to Goodell during his Hall Of Fame jacket presentation.

Goodell could barely contain his laughter.

Not all think Brady is guilty. Even some `political’ people have come out to defend him.

“I think it’s ridiculous the way they’ve treated him,” Donald Trump said. “He’s a friend of mine..”

tom-brady-donald-trump

 Image Credit: foxsports.com

Well, that just makes everything Tom Brady may or may have not been involved in rather OK, doesn’t it?

September 4th is a big day. Judge Richard Berman will have made his decision whether or not to overturn Roger Goodell’s four game suspension for Brady. However, Article 46 of the NFL’s collective bargaining agreement gives Goodell the power to hear appeals, and unless the circumstances are so extreme, a federal court cannot intervene with Goodell’s decision.

In other words: Apple Sauce bitch.

Brady’s attorney Jeffrey Kessler submitted in court a list of 18 arbitration’s dating back to 1970 that have been overturned in the same court system hearing Brady’s lawsuit (Southern District of New York and Second Circuit). It’s cute, but it doesn’t mean it’ll give Judge Berman a big enough woody to bounce the ball in Brady’s favor.

Although reports have surfaced that the Judge is leaning towards exonerating Brady, not wanting to kneel to the Commissioner and all. Plus, to be one of the few Judges to overturn an arbitration in this court system while giving the NFL the finger in the process must seem rather satisfying.

Some questions remain unanswered.

If Brady is exonerated, what if more damning evidence comes out against him in the future? Does Judge Berman want to be the guy that got it wrong after initially being perceived as the guy that got it right?

What will actually happen to Tom Brady?

Will he be suspended four games? Will he just serve one game? Or none?

Who can he appease to clean the asterisk dust from his thumbs?

Who knows…just don’t do something stupid, NFL fans; like asking Tom Brady to hold your phone.

Excuse me – A phone.

I’d hate to get too touchy when talking about Tom Brady; a man being paid a King’s ransom to place his hands under another man’s sack to grab balls deflated to his liking.

Supposedly, at least.

 

 

– A.J. DeMello

TWITTER: @humorousfiend
FACEBOOK
humorousfiend.blogspot.com

ONE Buffalo!

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The year was 1983, a very important year in Buffalo sports history. On January 23rd, a not quite 2 year old version of me watched a sold out Memorial Auditorium crowd scream and cheer our Sabres to a 5-2 victory over the Winnipeg Jets. This was my first game, my first taste of sports and the excitement that comes with it. We had amazing seats, two rows from the glass, my father says he had to pull me down from the rafters after every crushing body check into the boards. Needless to say I was hooked, the fast pace and high energy was mesmerizing and I couldn’t get enough. I am fortunate enough to have a puck from the game that my dad engraved the date on to commemorate that special moment in time. This same year a very passionate and determined businessman named Terry Pegula said some very special words to his partner, “if I ever have more than two nickels to my name, I’m going to buy the Buffalo Sabres one day”. Who could have fathomed the magnitude of those words three long decades later.

Now lets go to 1985, I am a little bit older and my love for hockey and my Buffalo Sabres is growing stronger with every passing season. Prior to this year my interest in football was limited to playing catch with my dad. See, we are a family of Bills fans and as a rambunctious 4 year old, back to back 2 and 14 seasons didn’t do much for my attention span. However the Chicago Bears playoff games and a Super Bowl victory over the Patriots did peak my interest. I remember very little from way back then but the excitement of my dad, uncles and their friends after every QB sack or crazy run by “sweetness” definitely drew me in. I remember running around the house singing the Super Bowl Shuffle song. This was the start to my love for football. The next few seasons for the Bills were still rough. I remember looking forward to Sundays to yell and cheer on my team but sadly finding interest in something else by halftime because we were losing so bad. It wasn’t until 1988, with our first winning season came a new hero, a hero named Jim Kelly. Kelly’s winning attitude accompanied by the immortal voice of Van Miller was all I needed to bleed red, white and blue for the rest of my life.

Fast forward to T-Peg day, February 22nd, 2011. A typical cold Buffalo day, that is until the news broke that Mr. Pegula has the winning bid to keep our Sabres here in Buffalo where they belong. Just a few short years later the City of Good Neighbors once again gets to celebrate and thank the Pegula family. This time for ensuring that our beloved Buffalo Bills will be a staple of our community for generations to come. Other than the obvious reasons such as economic benefits and the fact that we are the best fans in sports and adore our teams, there are many other reasons that we should be thankful for the Pegula family. They are once again bringing not only our sports teams back to the forefront where they belong, they are also helping to revitalize our great city. They are building two class franchises and filling them with star players that my son and every other kid in Western NY can look up to and root for. I feel for children over the last few decades. Heroes wearing football or hockey jerseys have been few and far between but thanks to Terry and Kim that is all over.

As I sit here writing this story with a smile, I cant help but think about all of the traditions my son and I can start. Sports teaches a lot and as my son approaches his 2nd birthday I am looking forward to him building a love and appreciation for our teams as I did. I feel that sports is a very important factor in the growth and development of our children. So in closing I would like to say cheers to making sports memories with our kids so that some day they can share stories with their kids about how they got to see our great city bring home Super Bowl Rings and Stanley Cups. New heroes like Jack Eichel and Sammy Watkins will go a long way to help make this happen….

So…

LETS GO BUFF-A-LO!!!!!

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 Image Credit: buffalosabresnation.com

 

– Chris Monroe

TWITTER: @turtle868

#TNAvsGFW – is it really a “Supershow”?

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 Image Credit: impactwrestling.com

The August 12th (or August 15th if you’re in the UK) episode of Impact Wrestling was billed as a TNA vs GFW “Supershow”. It featured interpromotional matches and TNA Hall of Famer and Global Force Wrestling founder Jeff Jarrett as the man in charge. But can you call it a “Supershow” when one of the two brands represented doesn’t even have a TV deal yet?

But don’t get me wrong, Impact Wrestling is, in my opinion, the best wrestling show on TV each week. TNA has the best bell-to-bell action and some of the most talented wrestlers in the business. This week’s Impact Wrestling was a great show with some amazing action. It was nice to see some fresh blood interacting with the somewhat limited TNA roster and the main event could have easily headlined a pay-per-view. Plus, any time you get to see PJ Black (fka Justin Gabriel in WWE) flying around in a ladder match, it’s a good day to be a wrestling fan!


Just as an FYI, from here on out I wrote this as I was watching so I did take some guesses and what might be to come. Some were right, some were not and some have still yet to materialize.


The night started out with Jeff Jarrett and his GFW talent arriving at the Impact Zone earlier in the day. Jeff, accompanied by his wife Karen, came to the ring and started talking about Bully Ray being attacked backstage last week and how he graciously offered to run Impact for one night because he is so appreciative of getting the hall of fame induction and being able to end his career on his terms with the King of the Mountain match. As a wrestling fan for almost 30 years, I do have to say that I think it’s going to end up being Jeff Jarrett and the GFW guys that laid out Bully Ray.

Jarrett then vacated the title and said a new champ will be crowned tonight, which brought out Eric Young. EY insulted Double J, talked about injuring Kurt Angle and taking the prosthetic leg of Chris Melendez before challenging Jarrett to a match. Jeff said he isn’t a TNA employee so he can kick EY’s butt if he wanted to, but instead put EY in the TNA vs GFW King of the Mountain match for the KOTM title. This led to the GFW guys coming out and attacking EY, which led to TNA guys coming out to attack the invading GFW.

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 Image Credit: impactwrestling.com

After a commercial break, Jeff Jarrett and the GFW wrestlers are shown in the back. Jeff tell them that they are not “invading” TNA and are only here to show what they can do. Again I think Jeff is laying the “nice guy” routine on pretty think, which will lead to a GFW heel turn at some point.

MATCH 1: LEI’D TAPA VS AWESOME KONG (GFW VS TNA)

Lei’D Tapa was once a member of the Impact roster and I hope she has learned how to wrestle since her last TNA televised match because she used to be very, very green…. she hasn’t. Luckily Kong is excellent in the ring and was able to carry her into a match that wasn’t a total disaster.

WINNER: DOUBLE COUNT OUT

If this DQ junk-ending is a sign of things to come then this is going to be a really long show. I know that both TNA and GFW are going to want their brands to look strong in this invasion but you still have to have winners and losers in the actual matches.

On each end of the commercial break we get backstage interviews with PJ Black and Drew Galloway. Both men have been added to the KOTM title match and I have to admit that I am starting to get pretty excited to see it.

Next we have Bobby Roode in the ring. He’s upset that he isn’t included in the KOTM match but he is more upset that Rockstar Spud ended Austin Aries’ TNA career last week on Impact Wrestling. Am I the only one that noticed that Spud is rocking a Booby Roode beard? Maybe I am…

Either way, Spud calls Roode a “prick”, mentions that the kids in the audience want him to be there (but their parents probably didn’t want to hear him say “prick”) and then cuts a promo on Roode before slapping him in the face. Roode in turn chokes Spud, Roodebombs him, throws him into the steel steps and then puts him in the crossface on the floor. I guess Bobby really doesn’t like people copying his facial hair!

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 Image Credit: impactwrestling.com

In the back Jarrett yells at Roode for taking it to far with Spud. I still say Jarrett is evil in disguise!

MATCH 2: JESSIE “THE MAN” GODDERZ VS LASHLEY (Winner advances to KOTM match)

So am I really supposed to think Godderz has even a remote chance of winning this match and going on to the KOTM match?? I could have thought that Godderz could win by DQ or by countout but now I think it’s pretty obvious who will win this one. Putting Godderz in this match would be like putting GFW’s Chris Masters in a KOTM match.

WINNER: LASHLEY

Next up we get a nice video package from the excellent Matt Hardy vs EC3 Full Metal Mayhem match from last week. Say what you will about TNA’s mismanagement of some talent but they really have turned EC3 into a main event caliber star! That guy is fantastic in the ring and even better on the mic. He deserves to be champ and I hope he keeps the belt for a long, long time!

After which we learn that Drew Galloway has been taken out backstage in a similar fashion to Bully Ray. Jeff Jarrett is both outraged and upset. He says will get to the bottom of this while Dixie goes to the hospital with Galloway. He even says to Dixie “Trust me”! That’s like wrestling code for “Don’t trust me! I’m super evil! I’m the evil mastermind!”

EC3 comes out with Tyrus and cuts a great promo. He said “I was born and bred to carry this company on my shoulders into the future!” and I couldn’t agree with him more. After insulting the audience he is interrupted by a limping Matt Hardy. Matt tells EC3 how great he is and then tries to get himself another title match. He even says #MattForChamp. EC3 pretends to compliment Hardy and call him a worthy contender for the title. He says that the fans should decided if Hardy gets another title match. Once the fans cheer for a re-match EC3 says no and has Tyrus beat up Hardy. EC3 then raises the belt over his head and smiles. Great segment!

 

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 Image Credit: impactwrestling.com

After the break we get The Dollhouse. Taryn setts up a handicap cage match between Jade and Marti Bell vs Gail Kim for next week at TNA Turning Point. On a side note, I like the pay-per-view themed episodes of Impact. It really gives the episodes a special feel.

The commentators announce that GFW’s Chris Mordetzky (fka “The Masterpiece” Chris Masters in WWE) will be tasking the spot of Drew Galloway. I’ll be honest here, I haven’t seen Masters since his WWE days so I don’t know if he has improved any but I am now a lot less excited for the main event…

MATCH 3: THE WOLVES VS BRIAN MYERS & TREVOR LEE (TNA VS GFW)

It’s nice to see Brian Myers (fka Curt Hawkings in WWE) back on TV. I dont know if these guys are normally a team at GFW shows but they look like two randomly thrown together wrestlers. Nothing about them says “tag-team”. Myers is still carrying a walking stick and wearing the same gear he was in the tail end of his WWE career and Trevor was wearing black boots and black trunks. I will just assume that they are just “Team GFW” for this match.

I’m not sure why WWE didn’t hire The Wolves after their NXT tryout match but WWE’s loss is TNA’s gain! The Wolves are, in my opinion, the best team in the world today.

This one was a fast moving and fun-to-watch match. I could see Myers and Lee making a really good team together going forward.

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 Image Credit: impactwrestling.com

WINNERS: THE WOLVES

Lashley says he can beat anyone, in any match, in any sport. Also he says that TNA rules and that he will be King of the Mountain tonight.

MATCH 4: TIGRE UNO VS SONJAY DUTT (TNA VS GFW)

Some great high-flying moves in this very athletic, X-Division style match between current X Champ Tigre Uno and one of the men that helped build the X-Division, Sonjay Dutt. Sonjay acted very “heelish” in this match, trying to unmask Tigre and showboating to the crowd, but when either of these guys is in the ring, you know it’s going to be good.

WINNER: TIGRE UNO

Jeff Jarrett tell EC3 in the back how proud he is of all EC3 has done. EC3 tells Jarret that he isn’t fooled and that ghe is on to Double J. Jarrett then says that next week, EC3 will have to face whoever wins the KOTM title tonight. EC3 is pissed!

Mr. Anderson challenges Bram to an “Open Mic challenge” match next week at Turning Point. First one to the mic can legally use it on his opponent.

MATCH 5: ROBBIE E VS PJ BLACK VS “THE ADONIS” CHRIS MORDETZKY VS ERIC YOUNG VS LASHLEY

Robbie E?? They replaced Drew Galloway with Robbie E? Was Shark Boy not in the Impact Zone?This even more than before tells me that Jeff Jarrett is a secret evil-doer! Putting Robbie E in there gives the GFW guys a much better chance of winning. But I think Robbie might surprise in this one!

Lashley and PJ Black both get quick pin falls and before eligible to win the match. Shortly after Robbie E becomes eligible. So Robbie is now someone that can win but EY and Chris Masters still cannot.

Lashley pins Robbie E to become eligible again and is now standing around in the ring while everyone else on the outside fighting. I’m not totally sure he knows how this match works. But it’s time for a commercial so maybe they will inform him during the break.

Masters and EY team up and clear out the ring. Masters sneaks up behind EY and pins him to becomes eligible. Action once again spills to the outside and Robbie E jumps off the penalty box onto Lashley and Masters. It was pretty impressive! Robbie then throws PJ Black into the penalty box and then goes after Eric Young. I have to agree with The Pope’s comment that Robbie is really taking advantage of this opportunity!

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 Image Credit: impactwrestling.com

EY piledrives Robbie on the steps and pins him to become eligible to win… maybe I spoke too soon. The action continues as everyone tries to hang the title belt and most get thrown off the ladder. Even Lashley tries to win the match, so that means someone finally explained to him how this whole thing works. Lashley even spears EY off the ladder from the top rope before receiving a 450 splash from PJ Black, who then grabbed the belt and climbed the ladder.

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 Image Credit: impactwrestling.com

WINNER: PJ BLACK (NEW KOTM CHAMPION AND NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TO THE TNA WORLD TITLE)

All in all this was a really good episode of Impact Wrestling that is hopefully planting the seeds of a full-blown invasion from Global Force Wrestling in the weeks to come. Was it a “Supershow”? I dont know about that but I do hope that it will all build up to some interesting Champion vs Champion and company vs company matches at this years Bound For Glory pay-per-view in October. But I guess the real question is, can Jarrett can keep paying his wrestlers without a TV show or will GFW end up having to just merge with TNA into a “Supercompany”?

 

FINAL VERDICT

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– Keith White Jr.

TWITTER: @KeefWhiteJr
keithwhitejr.com