Search Results for: Jack Wichard


FEBRUARY 2015

2-FEBRUARY

JANUARY 2015

1-JANUARY

 

SDL Alumni

What is the SDL Alumni Page?

One of the things we are extremely proud of here at Stuff Dudes Like is that we often serve as a springboard for young writers and newly launched podcasts as they bring their fresh ideas and talent to the Internet.  Over time, writers and podcasts will move on to other ventures or will find other avenues for their talents. This page exists to thank all of those who have contributed to the great content here at Stuff Dudes Like and to remind them that they will ALWAYS be a part of the SDL Family.

It may not be the “dude” thing to say… but from the bottom of our hearts we wish each and every member of our alumni success, no matter what the future holds!

We would also like to extend a welcome to all SDL alumni to come back and post content as a guest writer or podcast any time.


WRITERS


 

KeithWhiteKeith White Jr.

Hello dudes! I’m Keith and besides writing for Stuff Dudes Like I am also the author and illustrator of 24 “Color-With-Me” Adventure books for kids. They are chapter books with pictures in between each chapter that the kids can color to help them remember what they read. I also co-hosted the video game radio show “The Digital Ensemble” on 91.3 FM in Buffalo, NY from 2005-2010. I have had parts in the movies Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead, The Falls, Sharknado 2: The Second One and Return of Nuke Em High Vol. 1 among others. I’m here on Stuff Dudes Like to bring you video game reviews, stories about my childhood and hopefully stories that truly are Stuff Dudes Like.

TWITTER: @KeefWhiteJR


thumbMike O’Brien

My name is Mike O’Brien and people keep telling me that I’m just like Louis CK – fat, awkward and lonely.  Notice they didn’t say anything about being funny.  They’re just kidding… I think.

I love to write blog posts that make people laugh and I’m never afraid to turn the spotlight on myself, as I somehow end up being the butt of many of my own jokes. I love beer, cars, football, and food. All kinds of food! Honestly, I probably need to like food a little less and like working out a little more. Either way, I’ll post about many different kinds of things but I will always try to add a little humor. I run the SDLStaff Twitter account and you can follow me there to hear my latest jokes and to keep up on the latest happenings here at Stuff Dudes Like.

TWITTER: @SDLStaff


mikeMike Bocchetti

My name is Mike Bocchetti and I am a man about town. I’m a New York City comic and have been an actor since 1992. I was the announcer on DirecTV’s The Artie Lange Show, and a regular guest on The Opie and Jim Show, The Opie and Anthony Show and The Anthony Cumia Show. I was recently in the movie The Family with Robert De Niro and I was on the TV show Monk. Besides all that I loves vintage muscle cars and I have a soft spot in my heart for hot chicks that like me back.

TWITTER: @mikebocchetti


aneesaAneesa Mirza

As a young girl I was always ‘that girl.’ You know the one that has her head in a book at all times and is constantly rewriting her diary entry in to new notebooks in the neatest handwriting? My younger brother would call me Lisa from The Simpsons and he sure as hell was Bart! But as I grew up I was happy to find that those traits never changed. I still keep a journal and I still adore reading. I am currently working as an Editorial Assistant for a small Publishing House in Central London, I contribute articles to several magazines and am working on my own novels and short stories. To keep up with my work kindly visit www.aneesamirza.wordpress.com and follow me on twitter.

TWITTER: @mirza_aneesa


danielDaniel Tomlinson

I came to Nashville in 1991 from Flint, Michigan to attend Lipscomb University. I graduated in 1995 with a degree in religion, and in 1998 I married Carey Earheart, a student at the University of Evansville. In 2002 I finished a masters in religion at Lipscomb University, and we became parents in 2004 to a precious daughter who is, amazingly, a tween now. When I’m not operating my business we spend time in Watersound, cheer for Vol football, and Lady B Basketball (A-Sun’s Lipscomb). And when I’m not doing that with my girls I’m here writing for you, my fantastic and loyal readers. Thank you for reading my drivel.

TWITTER: @danieltomlins72


toddTodd Smith

Hello! I’m Todd, and I’m a 23 year-old openly homosapien from Buffalo. I’m a writer, an artist, with an affinity for music, and I’ve got a PhD in sleeping. It’s not unusual to find me reading something so enticing that my eyes dry out from a lack of blinking, nose-deep in a good Facebook status and/or Tweet, causing conflagrations in the kitchen, or eagerly salivating in line at Moe’s. (Seriously… am I supposed to say ‘thank you’ when they say ‘welcome to Moe’s’ or…?) I’ve joined the SDL team to share my love of language, both native and foreign, as well as a bunch of other things I haven’t decided on yet. Stay tuned. In the meantime, you can follow along with my written works at http://wordsmitht.wordpress.com or with my experimental adventures in cooking and baking at http://foodsmitht.wordpress.com.

TWITTER: @jefermelesyeux


willieWillie Cintron

Willie hails from San Antonio, Texas. His wrestling knowledge is embarrassingly impeccable. His humor is drier than the Sahara Desert and makes you cringe and laugh simultaneously. He is a stylist during the day and a Twitter assassin by night. He has worked as a publicist, bookkeeper, sales rep and banker. He’s done it all and he is always for hire. He is a lover, not a fighter. His last 3 girlfriends are literally insane. Be cautious women.

TWITTER: @WillieStufff


jackJack Wichard

Name shouldn’t be too difficult to figure out, It’s under my picture. BRFC supporter, and zookeeper. I Write articles right here on Stuff Dudes Like! Also, I’m hideously uninteresting if anyone’s into that.

TWITTER: @JackWichard


thumbVictor Victor

While it’s been confirmed that Victor Victor is an actual person (though Victor Victor could still be a pen name), some of his claims – like being the inventor of the semicolon – have yet to be substantiated. He’s wanted for questioning in three countries, all for driving-related incidents and he’s rumored to be one of the photographers who caused Princess Di’s fatal crash. Honestly, we wouldn’t blame you if you just scrolled right past his editorials (we don’t read them either).

TWITTER: @SDLStaff


salSalvatore Morocco

They call me “The Main Event”! Whether its in a ring, at a poker table or here on Stuff Dudes Like… I’m the best you’ll ever see! I am a professional wrestler. I have just begun to make a name for myself around the wrestling world. Most notably defeating Zach Gowan and Gregory Iron in recent tag-team action. On top of being both a lifelong fan of wrestling and involved in the business, I have been involved in the music industry, the fashion world and the world of film making. These skills I’ve picked up give me added experience that I hope will translate into an enjoyable and informative reading experience. Join me for stories about the world of professional wrestling and the people in it.

TWITTER: @SalvatoreMorocc


mike2Mike Lerchenfeldt

Science and Informational Literacy Teacher in the Chippewa Valley Schools. Alum of Oakland University and Saginaw Valley State University. Member of the Michigan-Shiga, Japan Student Exchange Committee. Taught in New Zealand through a teacher exchange program. Dedicated to student success. Enjoys being an active member of the community. Blogger for Digital First Media writing mainly about education, health, and travel.

TWITTER: @mj_lerch


jasonJason Smith

Hey readers of Stuff Dudes Like! My name is Jason Smith. I am a stand-up comedian from Albany, NY. I have been doing the standing up and telling jokes since 2008. I have performed all over the northeast, the entire east coast and Los Angeles. I’ve opened for big name comics, like Doug Stanhope. I have stories to tell. I also have a passion for professional wrestling, beer, video games and other things that I’m sure make you go “Oh, I can relate to this Jason Smith guy!” Please come along with me, as I write about those things. Also, follow me on Twitter, where I occasionally say things that make people chuckle.

TWITTER: @ComedianJasonS


chris mChris Monroe

Being a first time Dad to a 16-month old doesn’t lend to much time for writing. On the contrary it does offer a plethora of stories, memories and moments to write about and share. As any dad would know the stories of diaper accidents and spitting up food are abundant and I will try to spare you the gross details. However, from time to time I would like to stop by and share with you dudes some random fun stories that parenthood and life have brought along the way.

TWITTER: @turtle868


holtRobert Holt

Robert Holt is a St. Louis native and has been writing horror fiction for years. He has short stories published in dozens of anthologies and on the web. His first novel, Death’s Disciples, was released in the summer of 2014. His second book was a 360 degree turn from the splatterpunk style of the first. The Vegetarian Werewolf was a toddler horror anthology for the 4 to 7 age range. He has also started assisting with the production of a documentary film about the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark children’s book series. He is a boxing enthusiast, a dedicated hiker, a beer aficionado, and a beard wearing hipster.

TWITTER: @HoltHorror


headshots, kids, portraits childrenMatt Walker

Matt Walker is a Los Angelesean Floridian with an opinion. If you need hard-hitting time devouring op-eds that concern YOU, Matt will provide them. Call him an intellectual or a savant, he won’t know the difference.

Matt has been called writer, artist, musician, improviser, failure, and disappointment.

The proof’s in the links:

TWITTER: @mattwindwalker


thumbChristian Chandler

Christian Chandler is from the great state of South Carolina. Chris has worked on newspaper staffs, radio broadcasting sports and country music, management, counseling, political involvement and much, much more. If it’s interesting he likes it and wants in. His writing covers a number of topics. You might read about sports, social and political issues, health and nutrition issues, and basically whatever his creative mind comes up with. There are so many layers to Chris even he might not find them all before his life ends. He passionately loves his wife. Has a great attraction to Christianity and Eastern Religions. Particularly the psychology of the east to give some answers to our out of control society that seems to thrive on hate and a “us” verse “them” mentality. If you want to read the same old stuff that has been written a million times or just read stuff that is “preaching to the choir” because it enforces your strongly held beliefs that you just aren’t willing to have challenged, Christian Chandler may not be your guy.

TWITTER: @AuthorChrisC


ryan bRyan Bailey

The name is Ryan Bailey and the town is Buffalo NY. I ‘m a graduate from the (not so) famous Cheektowaga NY school known as Cleveland Hill. When it comes to my social life, I’m the 19 year old fat, funny, and deaf kid that everyone loves… I think. When it comes to sports I’m a fan of every sport, even cricket. I just don’t know the rules but who needs rules! I play baseball, basketball, hockey, football, and soccer all recreationally though. I’m an avid fantasy sport player who has yet to win money. It reminds me of  last 15 years of my favorite team the Buffalo Bills (mark my words, I am guaranteeing the Bills make the playoffs in 2015!). When it comes to my favorite teams you can say I got a weird bunch. For football I enjoy the losing talents of Buffalo and Cleveland. When it comes to baseball it’s all about the Yankees and Indians. In hockey I’m fans of the Sabres and Blue Jackets. Basketball, the Celtics (yes I know it makes no sense) and the Cavs. Also I’m a Bandits season ticket holder. “What’s he got?? Nothing!!”. I’ll leave you with this all you need to know about me… I love sports, I love my family, I love beer, and I love deaf people.

TWITTER: @R_Bailey11


 NaseehaNaseeha Tayob

Small talk with a big mouth.

TWITTER: @naseehatayob


jeffJeff Bauer

I am originally from St. Cloud MN, and I currently reside in Wisconsin. Life is tough being a Vikings fan in Wisconsin. I am an avid player of Fantasy Sports and have been quite successful I have played since 1989. I am a big movie buff along with being a video game geek. I am also the official Fantasy Football Guru for Izzy Presley’s Another F’N Podcast!

TWITTER: @jbauer36


sunshineSunshine Peterman

Sunshine. Real name. Born of hippies. I was taken to a nudist camp as I a kid but regrettably, blocked it out. I’m the single mom to ten “children” ages, 20,18,18,17,17,16,15,15,13 and 2. Five daughters and five sons. 5 bio and 5 adopted from foster care. I was a foster kid as a teen therein my mission. I blog about adoption awareness, foster care reform and living with a houseful of hormones. I’m a hippie at heart and believe in the power of humanity, and personal enlightenment. I’m a quote, diet coke and Doritos addict. I believe there’s profound good inherently in people & power in words, together that’s unstoppable.

TWITTER: @momsterof10


wordsmithSamuel Wordsmith

Samuel Wordsmith is a semi-consistent writer and a frequent, part time optimist. Much of his day is spent wishing he was a guinea pig, writing scripts and shouting, via Twitter, at inspirational quotes.

See you in the afterlife atheists.

TWITTER: @SamuelWordsmith


ronRon Palmieri

I run the pop-culture website It’s Cool To Me, Dammit! where I write articles, draw web comics and make videos all about comics, video games, super hero movies and lot’s more. Want to debate Marvel vs. DC? I’ll tell you why Marvel rocks and why you’re wrong. When I’m not blogging, I like food. All kinds of food. Good food, bad food. Making food and dissecting food all to make sure I get the perfect bite! And the best part is washing it all down with a delicious craft beer. My hope is to write some things that all the dudes (and dude-ettes too) like!

TWITTER: @ronofthemill


CLAYClay Thiessen

Hey guys, my name is Clay. And here’s a few things about myself.. Sagittarius, outdoorsman, musician, style snob, loner, recovered addict, boot hoarder, classic rock enthusiast, chairbourne warrior, weekend drinker, cigar lover, I prefer cats over dogs, pizza is the preference, small town kid and I would do anything for my friends and family. I’ve been asked to describe myself in 3 words, and my response, “Fast, Easy, Free”. Live fast, be easy and never take freedom for granted.

TWITTER: @ClayTheGringo


robertRobert Leigh

After bartending his way around Spain and the West End of London, Robert Leigh returned to his home city of Liverpool and began writing. Leigh’s works include Kill Line (Book One of The Retribution Trilogy) and From Lime Street to Yirgacheffe (a true story, of sorts…). He lives in Liverpool City Centre and continues to write in numerous genres.

TWITTER: @RLeigh78


joshJosh King

A publicity stunt in high school lead me to appearing on national television at the youthful age of 17. After appearing on ESPN’s Outside the Lines in 2005, I was able to get into mainstream media. I’ve been published in both the Pittsburgh Post Gazette and Pittsburgh Tribune Review. I’ve been transitioning into radio in the Pittsburgh area. I’ve lived in Chicago, Virginia Beach, Washington DC, and even had a brief tenure in Minnesota. I look forward to contributing celebrity interviews and random columns for Stuff Dudes Like.

TWITTER: @joshk65


micheleMichele Jones

Family, writing, cooking, and sports are passions for Michele Jones. She is a diehard Penguin, Steeler, and Pirate fan… really, a diehard anything-Pittsburgh fan. Michele is a published memoir writer, short story author, and poet, but she loves writing paranormal, horror, and thriller fiction. She moderates a local writing group in her hometown and critiques and beta reads for several published authors.

TWITTER: @Chelepie


chillChillbear Latrigue

I’m one of the about 150 million writers who were created when our barely literate society learned that we no longer had to use typewriters to sputter out our readable thoughts. Raised on the mean streets of South Florida during the turbulent Art Deco revival, I’ve developed a reputation as a literary ne’er-do-well who plays by his own set of rules. I’ve been an author and editor on several formidable blogs, including DrunkInaMidnightChoir.com and the late, great Wordsmoker.com. Look out, Stuff Dudes Like, this writer is likely to completely redefine how you feel about things like macramé pistol grips and the “beer before liquor” rule.

TWITTER: @Chillbear


laura Laura Elizabeth Anderson

Resident goofball, silly goose, love naps, dinosaurs, & science!

TWITTER: @dinosaurs907


joseJose Luna

Dudes… My name is Jose Luna. I’m a lifelong long video game and tech junkie and newest writer for SDL. Im looking forward to contributing gaming news and reviews to the site, and playing games with the SDL community.

TWITTER: @sohkseven


michaelMichael Carroll

Hello, my name is Michael Carroll. I am a part time mental health and human services worker, and I am also a part time chaplain. I am a U.S. Army Infantry Veteran, and I was deployed to the country of Bosnia-Herzegovina in support of Operation Joint Forge. I attended Indiana State University, where I double majored in Professional Aviation and Aerospace Administration. I then attended Ball State University, where I studied Meteorology. I am Catholic, and my faith is very important to me. My interests include music, sports, history and astronomy, and if you couldn’t already tell, I also love anything to do with Meteorology and Aviation. My favorite sports are hockey, football and baseball. At the moment, I am writing two books. One is a parody of romance novels. The other is my memoirs.

I currently live in Warsaw, Indiana with my fiance and our two dogs. I am living with and overcoming Serious Mental Illness, as well as a Traumatic Brain Injury. I hope you find my contributions to this site to be enjoyable and inspirational.

TWITTER: @CatholicArmyVet


rickyRicky James Crisp Jr

My name is Ricky James Crisp Jr. I grew up on the Left Coast in Auburn, WA. In 2004 I got my AAS Degree in Radio Broadcasting at Brown College in Mendota Heights, MN. Sept. 2001 I moved from Seattle, WA to Scottsdale, AZ. I’m a Die Hard Chicago Bears and Arizona Wildcats Basketball fan, and a huge Football, UFC, Basketball fan. As a hobby/side job I DJ and and make beats/remixes and mashups. My DJ site is djrickochet.net and you can follow me on Twitter or FaceBook.

TWITTER: @DJRickochet714


PODCASTS


cagleThe Cagle and Cory Show 

The Cagle and Cory Show is comprised of two people, Dylan Cagle and Cory Bowlin. The duo plans on making podcasting a career in the future.

TWITTER: @cagleandcory


jk2The old WZ and JK show

You can take the boys out of Scottdale, but you can’t take the Scottdale out of the boys.
WZ and JK have been friends since they graduated high school. What started off with little pranks around town, escalated quickly when they found jobs making them wealthy kids before the age of 21.
The money was a surprise to both of them as they endured financial struggles during the year of 2007. The newfound money would help the two go on the ride of a lifetime. From Maui to Puerto Rico they will tell tales of sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll. Literally. Add in massage parlors, gambling, and guns and the story just begins.
From traveling to Canada without birth certificates with guns in the trunk, to screaming at millionaire bosses in Maui (WZ 2009, JK 2010 in Puerto Rico) this show is dedicated to telling the behind the scenes of what happened at CPU Pittsburgh.
Trib Total Media built their empire then spit WZ and JK out at 24.
Now, 3 years later these two aren’t holding back.
This show will be sure to be a laugh riot. Starring Walter Zimmerman the funniest guy that isn’t famous…well…yet. A Josh Mirage production.

TWITTER: @joshk65


Txt Sp3ak

As a relatively young adult, and as someone that would regard themselves as perhaps the opposite of a technophobe, I find myself increasingly on the wrong side of a lengthening stick as far as speaking text speak, abbreviations and similar. And I think these words might actually be getting worse.

txt

When I was younger, most of them seemed cool, they were meanings that made sense. These were words where you didn’t know who started it, but they had to be someone that spent the better half of their time in typical 90’s fashion; leaning against a wall somewhere and clicking one hand, whilst pointing the other at you in a gun fashion and wearing a backwards hat.

zack

A lot seemed to be actual abbreviations. Words like “Isn’t it” became “innit”. And, of course, there was the way you said “psyche” after blatantly obvious things and using words that had a negative connotation, like “sick” as something good. And naturally, I was on the forefront of recreational grounds and parks, snapping off phrases left right and center purely because I had no idea that I was, in fact, just a rather geeky child with ears like satellite dishes. I told myself the typical lie we all tell ourselves. “I’m not going to become out of touch like my parents.” How wrong.

steve-urkel-costume-1

But, I also find myself blaming the kids for my being out of touch. A short time after I left education, in debt and with fresh, anew, innocent and frankly completely ridiculous optimism, I took a job to be lead technician of the animals in my old college. Naturally, when I was cleaning and maintaining the animals I was around the students an awful lot. I felt out of touch and the only way I felt confident I was going to become cool again was to take the time and listen to the students – rekindle my basest human impulse to be cool. Suffice it to say, within a few hours I was a hop skip and a jump away from slicing my wrists. I mean, how do we go from “sick” and “psyche” to “bae”?! And why did anyone decide that “babe” was a word that ever needed abbreviation?! It is barely effort at all to type or write that “B”. In fact, why not disregard random letters all over the place? Because it wouldn’t make sense. And yet people have flocked to this word, and multiple others like it like flies to manure. I’m pretty sure it won some kind of award. That’s the extent to which my brain will allow me to comprehend. And that’s not even the worst of it. I’m not kidding.

ebae

These words go from strength to strength (Note – that should read something more negative and rude, but we’ll leave it at strength.) with notable additions to the big book of bollocks words being “po-po” for police (Am I spelling that correctly?) and whatever the hell “twerking” is. I think that Darwin must be wrong about sexual selection, and i hope we don’t ever get time travel. Who wants to travel to a time where everyone’s saying “bae”?! I might not be that old yet, and maybe I was right to assume I’m losing my grasp on my youthfulness both physically and in speech, but maybe it’s not all that bad.

 

– Jack Wichard

Follow Me: @JackWichard

 

 

Football… Sorry! – Soccer

Well, I guess there’s probably no better time to talk about Soccer than having recently heard the news that impressive English football (Sorry! – soccer) star Steven Gerrard is moving to the USA to pursue a career under one of the what seems like three teams in the US that actually has the money to spend on football players that have gone stale in English football. That’s right! Soccer isn’t just the sport that you drop your ten year old daughter off at on weekends! After the US played far, far better than the UK in the World Cup, maybe soccer might be a growing sport in the US, especially with big names trying desperately to scrape up the shattered remains of their career in a way that might be well compared to trying to catch rain in a sieve. But if you like sports and beer it might be well within your interest to go to one of the local games (Again, apologies if you live in the 96% of the country that doesn’t play the sport yet!) I’ve been to as many games as possible at my local team, and even though I support a club that find it hard to grasp even the basics of playing a sport that children in school play, there’s something about the atmosphere that is somewhat enjoyable. It should be noted, however, that i’m fully aware that this effect could just be the beer… It’s hard to tell.

drunk

 

Plus, it’s far far easier to follow than American football, and the only real breaks in play occur when a player decides to fling himself furiously to the floor and grab a part of his body that hasn’t even been touched.

soccer_peekaboo

Maybe it’s something that you’ll enjoy. I know that the various 50 year old men that stand behind me in the stands yelling insults at the referees and players certainly enjoy it, despite what they seem to say, but on a good day these people are drowned out by the loud roar of a hopefully happy crowd.

Ultimately though, the sport seems to be a growing interest in the US which is fantastic, helped along by big names like David Beckham, who became world known for the ability to curve a ball in mid flight, an achievement that must surely require more skill than it sounds, or Steven Gerrard, who is now known in the UK for slipping during a game and giving the opposition team the possession that would ultimately completely ruin his chances of finishing the season at the top of the table (Which many would call a mild inconvenience, but given how long it has been since his team last did so, he and all their fans referred to it as a massive cluster-fuck.) But the games do have a certain edge to it, something that makes people pay ridiculous amounts for the ability to watch these games. It’s not like the games break any boundaries as far as originality goes, but there are moments that I find unrivaled in other sports, like when the manager of one of the best teams in the world recently called ‘Queens Park Rangers’ “Queens Park Raisins” in a post game interview, completely unaware that he had basically called a sports team a shriveled grape and not their actual name, or when one of the players on the team I support kissed an opposition player that was squaring up to him not once, but twice, to “break the tension”. As a result, the opposition player got a yellow card. Figure that one out. Not to mention the Twitter hashtags that go around, including “ChristmasFootballNames” Which changed the names of well known players to reflect the Christmas season, for example; ‘Christian Benteke’ got changed to ‘Christian Benturkey’ which, having wrote that, now seems completely unfunny, but i’m sure there are others that are better.

Besides, there’s nowhere else now that you can meet the new signings, and yes, I’m talking about Steven Gerrard himself, and genuinely have no actual idea what he’s talking about. (I’m serious, look it up.) The Liverpool accent, particularly where Steven is concerned, is the perfect embodiment of someone ripping off their genitalia and shoving it down their throat. Then again, I come from the only area of the country with an even worse accent. But if you’re still not persuaded, then there’s also beer and food. Now if that’s not a good enough reason to at least try and watch one of Europe’s finest, and simultaneously most ridiculous sports then there is no reason to do anything.

Seriously. Beer and food.

And sport.

But mainly beer and food.

– Jack Wichard

Follow Me: @JackWichard

 

Weather… Yes, Really!

weather2

Hello, anyone so inclined to read an article with such an appealing name (Sarcasm!) Before I start, I’d like to introduce myself. My name’s Jack, and if you’ve not read about me in the SDL Staff section of the website, I should say I’m a new writer! I usually am found getting excessively angry at video games, watching soccer (See what I did there? You’re welcome.) and writing as much as I can to avoid being left alone with the thoughts in my head! As a student, I studied zoology and English literature, but I digress. I know already what you’re thinking – the weather? A joke, surely? But is it boring to talk about the weather? As someone that lives in Britain, when I’m not finding numerous excuses to avoid brushing my teeth and drinking copious amounts of tea, I’m enduring tedious, awkward conversation with other British people where the only barebones conversation that we can muster is a vague and slightly brief conversation about the weather. Having visited U.S.A on various occasions to visit family, I noticed that, in great similarity to the awkward British weather conversations, whenever entering a shop, the staff are similarly inclined to enquire as to how you are – a question I’m sure would be met with some great regret should I answer truthfully in great detail about my confusion over American currency, or how I can’t get used to the time zones. The difference, however, is that in the UK, the weather conversation is a staple everywhere, and I don’t think anyone knows why since the UK, particularly at this time, maintains its seemingly endless tradition of having almost every shop and road completely brought to a standstill by even the faintest covering of sleet, or, god forbid, snow, which has the inane ability to reduce the general populace to quivering wrecks, where citizens themselves venture out only in the highest protective gear – and even then it’s only whenever necessary to leave the confines of the deepest, darkest pits from whence the person has sprang. And yet, I still find myself, day after day, greeting people who instantly, in a snap reaction that would catch most cats off guard, ask me what I think of the weather. It takes great, great skill and fortitude not to barrage the people asking with a verbal array of insults. It completely bemuses me that there’s no other conversation that the we can scrape from the tattered pages of the ‘conversational 101’ that surely must list better ice breakers than the weather (Aha! A pun.) At this point, I might even enjoy being asked why I look so strange, or even, and this is almost at a point where it’s no longer an exaggeration, something completely random, like which position would give your husband the most sexual gratification – just to have some variety in conversation.

Now, I know this is a pitiful excuse for a blog post, much less one that is supposed to cater to things that you, the reader, might be interested in, but keep reading, because i’m confident — or, perhaps that should read ‘hopeful’, that this blog post ends in somewhat of a point.

weather

Perhaps I’m just looking into it too much. A colloquial greeting of all sorts, don’t get me wrong, is voluntary, and I often find myself asking whether I should in fact just be grateful that someone actually took the time to say anything to me, given that I could quite easily be confused for some kind of hungover ape when I eventually awake from my drunken slumber, whip on the nearest clothes and avoid shaving to leave the house to buy another packet of cigarettes, much less the fact that in my half asleep condition it normally takes a full ten minutes to respond, five of which are spent comprehending why anyone would take the time to greet the large mass of dirt and cigarette smell that seemingly arose from the nearest gutter, and the other five trying my very hardest not to respond with a sarcastic response as to why the question is such a stupid one. Despite going off on somewhat of a tangent, and the slight difference in conversation between the UK and the USA, my point (or lack, thereof) seems to be this – cater to your audience. Mix it up a little. I know for a fact I’m never going to engage in flirty conversation with a beautiful young girl if I start a conversation with the same bloody sentence thats been indirectly chanted at her throughout the day from various people who, despite living within the confines of what must be some of the worst weather on the planet, still cannot believe the weather! And I’m assuming and hoping that this translates somewhat to the USA. If you’re not trying to bore the socks off the poor bloke/woman that crossed you at a particularly chirpy point, ask them something else.

I guess, the thing that drove me to write whatever this became, is the dire repetition that is spewed forth, and perhaps, I write this almost as a public service announcement that masquerades as a blog post/rant so that when I next put down my notepad or game controller and beer, and venture out into the cold wilderness that is the British countryside, I might not be greeted by a “Can you believe the weather today?” and instead by a much more simple greeting that holds a purpose other than making me want to catch you off guard with a vicious left hook.

 

– Jack Wichard

Follow Me: @JackWichard