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MAY 2015

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MAY 2015

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Packing a Go Bag for Being on the Lam an Indeterminable Amount of Time.

This article was originally posted on DrunkInAMidnightChoir.com

the-fugitive-movie-poster

Image Credit: Warner Bros.

The following article is not a metaphor for anything. Neither the items that you are being told to collect nor the bag in which you are to put those things are symbolic and do not “represent” anything in your life. If you are not at all concerned about the very real possibility that you may have to get up at a moment’s notice and flee some very real danger, then you can just click the fuck out of this page, compadre.

Fewer Than Sixty Seconds
Maybe you’re alone or maybe you’re in the company of a waitress or a bartender who you allowed to follow you back to your flat after her shift on an otherwise quiet night. You’re either lying soundlessly in the dark or thrashing about in the soft red glow of a neon vacancy sign when suddenly there’s a text or a call or some signal from the street that tells you that you need to get up and get the fuck out of wherever it is that you are—NOW.

You’re disoriented and you may not even know from whom or where the threat is coming, but you can’t allow the answer to either of those questions concern you. Analysis is a luxury upon which you can ill afford to squander your most vital resource: seconds. There’s no time to shave, shower, dress, or brush your teeth. Even putting on your underwear could lead to an acute case of hydrostatic shock.  There’s a leg-breaker at the door or a SWAT van barreling down the street. A seven-foot-tall tattooed chicken brandishing a sawed off double-barrel shotgun has come home to roost, and you pray that you have enough ticks of the clock to snatch up exactly one thing, kick open a door, and sprint off into the night.

Packing a Bag for the Worst Night of Your Life

Pick out a new or used bag made from a durable material, like leather or canvas—no fancy designer scribbling or insignias, and for fuck’s sake, no monograms or identifying fabric patterns. Stay away from olive drab or camouflage, as well. “Nondescript” is the watchword when you’re assembling a go bag. As a matter of convenience, whatever you use to hold your kit should be no larger than something you can stuff into the narrow lockers at your typical boxing gym or gun club. Make sure it has a shoulder strap so you can keep your hands free without dropping it to the ground.

Choose The Proper Attire for Being on the Lam

Pack some blue jeans because dungarees are the uniform of the common man. Chinos are a versatile option in some regions. Fold up a t-shirt, a button down shirt, and a light jacket. Coil up a heavy leather belt with a plain buckle, and set them all in a stack. None of your clothing should have garish patterns or logos. Your t-shirt should be of a darker color and free from messaging, particularly ironic jokes. If you think any part of this is supposed to be cute, you might as well eat a fucking gun because you’re not taking it seriously, and this is grave business. You’re not a character from Star Warsor Casablanca—you’re not anything. Your job is to ghost, so maybe you can just check the monkeyshines at the door and parade them out again during less dire times.

fakemustache

Image Credit: thefakemoustachesociety.blogspot.com

 

The same rule applies to hats, by the way: nothing out of the ordinary. For instance, unless you’re in Paris, France, a jaunty beret is just going to make you the target of derision and ridicule. Nothing on your head should ever indicate a geographical preference for any place other than the one you’re standing in. My advice: wait until you get to a town before you buy a lid sporting the local team brand.

Fedoras may be iconic, but there has been enough hipster douchebaggery surrounding them that they’re a dangerous option at the time of this writing. Bucket hats, on the other hand, don’t take up much space, are often reversible, and you can pick one up at just about any five and dime.

Don’t pack shiny or brand new footwear. New and shiny shoes tend to stand out at a bus station or a dive bar. Take a pair of fast, dull, comfortable shoes; put a pair of socks in each of them; and place them at the bottom of the bag. Let them lie there and don’t even think about them.

Go to the gas station and buy a pair of the most anonymous cheap sunglasses that they sell—black or metal frames.

While you’re at it, pick up a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, even if you don’t smoke. An offered cigarette can go a long way with strangers, and you never know when you’re going to need to burn something down. If they sell liquor, buy a fifth of cheap booze and toss it in your bag with the seal in tact. If not, go to another store.

Toiletries may be a personal choice, but the amount of space you can allocate to them is a matter of weight and spatial economy. Head over to your local drugstore or discount house and purchase travel-sized everything: deodorant, bar soap, hand sanitizer, toothpaste, shaving cream (especially if you have existing facial hair because that needs to be gone), Band Aids™, antibacterial cream, aspirin, et cetera. Shampoo and conditioner should be of the two-in-one variety. In fact, if you can find a three-in-one shampoo-conditioner-body soap combo, you can jettison your bar. You may still want to pack one—in case you need to dress a gunshot wound or make a soap bar sap with a sock or something. You’ll need a couple of disposable razors for altering your look. Also, pick up a pack of hair dye that’s not close to your current or natural color, which unless you’re already lamming it, I certainly hope to fuck are the same. Get some prophylactics—you’re on the run, not becoming a monk. Buy a three pack and ditch the box in the garbage outside the store. Put all of your toiletry items in a small shaving pouch or a plastic Ziploc™ bag to keep it from jingling around too much. If you have a moisturizing regiment or some other girl thing that you do to your face or hair, you’re kind of fucked. You don’t have the space, and besides, everyone’s skin looks like leather in the kinds of places you’ll be going. Embrace the countenance of poverty and dirt.

Make Your Bag an Instrument of Death

You may not need a gun, but you’re going to wanta gun. For this kind of thing, I prefer a snub nose revolver: reliable, low maintenance, loud, and effective at short ranges. They can go through a few fights without needing any serious cleaning. Throw it in a side pocket with a handful of bullets. Don’t feel you have to go too crazy with the ammo. This is just for any trouble you might encounter while you’re moving the fuck out. If you’re going to assault a prison or a mountain fortress, you need a different kit altogether. Find a good reliable knife—a sharp dagger, or a folding lock blade—and store it with the gun.

Choosing the Right Currency
Invest a little cash in your bag, and by that, I mean stow money in the inside pocket. US greenbacks are accepted everywhere, but if you’re in an EU country, you might prefer Euros. About $200 is enough for a tank of gas, a couple of nights in a seedy motel, and a few cheap meals. Keep your money in small bills. Your credit and debit cards can be traced, so don’t use them if your pursuers have the juice to track them. Some things to consider when setting up your bankroll:

money

Image Credit: bbc.co.uk
  • Is your departure of a temporary or permanent nature?
  • What is the realistic reach of the party who is interested in ending your existence?
  • Can you escape using only a single mode of transit? (i.e. car, cab, bus, train, et cetera)
  • For the purpose of determining legal jurisdiction, how far is it to the border of the next state or country?

The importance of cash can never be overemphasized. If you are able to keep enough disposable currency on hand, you might, might be able to forgo the bag altogether, but don’t count on it. Some cash substitutes that you might want to consider can include jewelry, prescription narcotics (stay away from contraband), precious metals, and gems. You used to be able to trade pornography, but since the advent of the Internet, the market for skin mags or naked playing cards has been substantially diminished.

Improvise at Your Own Peril
If you don’t see an item listed here and are unsure if it belongs in an emergency go bag, ask yourself if the weight of the item in question is going to make the bullets chasing you fly even a few feet-per-second slower. If the answer is yes, pack two of them.

 

 

– Chillbear Latrigue

TWITTER: @Chillbear

The Highly Imposing Man’s Guide to Surviving Breakups With Dignity

This article was originally posted on DrunkInAMidnightChoir.com

 

We used to have the French Foreign Legion. It was a group of men you could join with the confidence that comes from knowing that there wasn’t going to be a lot of talk about feelings. You could hunker down in your foxhole with your bayonet and ammo pouch, eating cheese, sipping low-grade brandy from a flask, knowing that sooner or later a ball from the enemy’s rifle would kill that thing that was gnawing away at your gut—along with the rest of you. Maybe, during the armistice, while the guns were cooling, to the sympathetic ears of your brothers in arms, you would quietly utter the four words—and only those four words—that would explain what the fuck you were doing in the middle of the goddamn Sahara killing Saracens: “because of a woman.”

camel

Image Credit: nybooks.com

Amour rejeté. Rejected love.

Those were simpler times, and the political wind has shifted. While it’s no longer considered heroic to subjugate a less developed civilization just because your heart hurts, the suffering you’re feeling is too profound to idly sit by, waiting for it to heal. You’re numb; you’re in pain; and you’re drifting with a humiliating lack of direction. Well, I have news for you, frenchy: no one gives damn. Not your family. Not your friends. Least of all her. If you’re looking for help getting over your breakup—some sort of life preserver to get you through the next few bites of the retched plate of despair that you’re eating—well, you’ve come to the wrong place, compadre. This is where you’re reminded that feelings are unwelcome intruders—a mosh pit of rude little enzymes dancing around in your gray matter.

If you’ve lost your girl, it’s probably not your fault. Even highly imposing men have breakups. The important thing is how you comport yourself in the hours and days after your heart gets pulled through that gaping fissure in your sternum. You didn’t die, and quite frankly, there are bigger tragedies going on in the world, so you need to pull yourself together and show all of humanity that you are more than the sum of your dating experiences.

And this is how it’s done:

 

DRINKING – You’ve all probably heard the cliché that “drinking never solves anything.” That’s what your mom told you, right? Well, it is sort of true, but you’re not really looking for a cure here; you’re trying to make an impression. As an imposing man, it’s recommended for you to get sloppy drunk at least one time over a breakup. It’s how real men grieve. After that, just drink four or five stiff ones per night to kill off the weaker brain cells. You should only drink hard liquor: scotch, bourbon, rye, or tequila. Beer is for gentler times. You might have another drinking preference, but you’re going to have to put that on hold for now. How will it look if you’re drowning your sorrows with vodka martinis or champagne cocktails? If you are a lightweight and prone to breaking open the waterworks after you have a few belts of booze, then you shouldn’t drink at all, cupcake. Just empty half a bottle of whiskey into a mason jar and walk around pretending to guzzle the rest. When you see a passerby, make like you’re taking a swig. It’s not ideal, but if people don’t see you drinking at all, they’re going to worry about your feeling—and you can’t have them thinking that you have any of those.

SOCIAL MEDIA – Here’s a new thing that turns my stomach. When a man gets his heart broken, he is now overcome by the compulsion to announce it to the world via digital media. “I am so devastated by my breakup with @CoraJones that masturbation is not even an option right now.” The fact of the matter is that you aren’t going to win her back with a public estrogen dump, so shut the fuck up about your emotions. Assume she’s watching you and knows what you’re posting. After all, what better way for her to celebrate your agony with her friends than to read your Facebook wall or Twitter feed? Social media is a publicly accessible, permanent record of your current state of mind. It does not go away. Do you really want your social lessers to be able to punch in #myrtleloveache and be able to see 437 tweets that lay witness to your dramatics? Here are a few acceptable tweets that you can use if you can’t think of anything on your own:

  • “Bad week at work. Going to the gun range to blow off a little steam. @GreysonStone Want to come?”
  • “If that copier guy makes one more paper jam-related joke, I’m going to knock him the fuck out. #wrath”
  • “Does anyone know where I can buy a good #sharpeningstone for my edged weapons?”

BRAWLING – On the exterior, you’re the model of composure, but internally you’re a seething, rage-fueled turbine engine. You want to kill someone, but if you do, you’re just going to wind up at the top of a wooden staircase at Tehachapi with a rope around your neck. Still, there’s nothing wrong with a brawl or two to work out your angst. Actually, so long as greater numbers are involved,  this may be the one time when it’s even okey to lose a donnybrook. “Sure Cutter lost that fight. He was drunk and there were six of them. I think he might have dumped his girlfriend and she sent those dudes after him.”

COMMUNICATIONS – As a rule, once the breakup is done, you should not initiate any interactions with your ex. You probably need me to be more specific here: no face-to-face, telephonic, electronic, or written communications at all, frenchy. You may not leave a note somewhere hoping that she’ll find it. You may not deliver a message through your friends, or hers. Here are the situations where you can return her calls or correspondence:

  • She is claiming to be pregnant with your child. (Why get the lawyers involved?)
  • She has decided that she made a mistake in leaving you after she caught you with another woman and wants to beg for your forgiveness.
  • Her life is in danger. If this happens, you should only agree to help her reluctantly because you have a soft spot for dames who have been captured by highwaymen or pirates or whatever.

For a while, every time your phone rings, you’re going to hope that it’s her. It might actually even be her. If you don’t answer, you win. I don’t make these rules, but I do know that God gets nauseous when he sees a man breaking them.

REVENGE – There is no honor in physically harming a woman or damaging her property—ever. If you think you are likely to do either, please wait for my upcoming article Seven Honor Suicides for the Imposing Man, where I discuss acceptable reasons for checking yourself out and cool lines to leave in your suicide note. In no way does this mean, however, that revenge is off the table. Among your acceptable recourses are:

  • Having sex with one of her best friends or a family member. If it’s a family member, use the “One Generation Rule.” No one is going to be impressed with you scoring with an adult woman’s grandmother.
  • Emasculate her new boyfriend. You can accomplish this by either firing him from his job or fighting him over some bizarre insult. Watch the nineties classic Starship Troopers. One caveat: this is a fight you have to win.
  • Challenge her new lover to a classic duel, but only over something that is completely unrelated to her. Do not disclose to your seconds that the reason you’re fighting this duel is over losing a girl.

CLEANING HOUSE – Depending on how long the two of you dated, you probably have all kinds of pictures and tchotchkes scattered around your flat that you never wanted in the first place. Good riddance. Get a box or a garbage sack and unceremoniously toss anything that reminds you of her. If it has value, sell it or donate it to a charity. Along the same vein, your social media profiles are your public space and you should never allow someone who you are dating to intrude on them. If you have posted couple photos or allowed yourself to be tagged in them, you have to wait a little while before you take them off your feed. If you do it too quickly, she’ll know she affected you, but if you wait too long, you look like some sort of goddamn sentimentalist or worse. Your best immediate solution is to post a lot of recent photos, effectively ramming the digital images of your broken romance down so far that no one will notice.  For ideas of good post-breakup photos, friend request Vladimir Putin on Facebook. Whether he’s posing with the world’s largest Russian pike, riding shirtless on a horse, or poisoning a political opponent, that man knows how to get over a breakup in style.

CHANCE ENCOUNTERS – No matter how hard you try to avoid her, there’s always the possibility that she’s going to sashay into some pub that you’ve never been to before or show up at a party that she didn’t know was being held in your honor. Inevitably, she will look better than you’ve ever seen her look and be on the arm of some arrogant pansy with a fat wallet. Your first instinct might be to fill your hand with that snub-nose revolver you have tucked into your waistband or strapped to your ankle, but her new fop is probably supporting a wife and kids. So, until you have all of the facts and a coldblooded revenge plan, keep your weapon holstered.

Don’t: Pretend like you didn’t see her walk in. She knows you saw her, and acting like you didn’t see her is embarrassing for everyone and undermines the fine work that you’ve done up until now.

Do: Be gracious. “Listen, I was just headed to the bar. Can I buy the two of you a drink?” Say this whether or not it’s a cash bar. If the idiot date challenges you on it, knock him the fuck out. Actually, you can punch him in the face for the slightest provocation. It’s only bad form if you initiate the quarrel.

Listen, Nancy-boy, we don’t want to hear about how bad you’re hurting. We know you’re every stereotype in every mariachi song that’s ever been written. Time to get back to whatever it is that you were doing before you met her.

Pull on your boots.

Stand on your feet.

Show the world no pain.

Be a man—an imposing man.

legion

Image Credit: sky.com

 

– Chillbear Latrigue

TWITTER: @Chillbear

 

SDL Alumni

What is the SDL Alumni Page?

One of the things we are extremely proud of here at Stuff Dudes Like is that we often serve as a springboard for young writers and newly launched podcasts as they bring their fresh ideas and talent to the Internet.  Over time, writers and podcasts will move on to other ventures or will find other avenues for their talents. This page exists to thank all of those who have contributed to the great content here at Stuff Dudes Like and to remind them that they will ALWAYS be a part of the SDL Family.

It may not be the “dude” thing to say… but from the bottom of our hearts we wish each and every member of our alumni success, no matter what the future holds!

We would also like to extend a welcome to all SDL alumni to come back and post content as a guest writer or podcast any time.


WRITERS


 

KeithWhiteKeith White Jr.

Hello dudes! I’m Keith and besides writing for Stuff Dudes Like I am also the author and illustrator of 24 “Color-With-Me” Adventure books for kids. They are chapter books with pictures in between each chapter that the kids can color to help them remember what they read. I also co-hosted the video game radio show “The Digital Ensemble” on 91.3 FM in Buffalo, NY from 2005-2010. I have had parts in the movies Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead, The Falls, Sharknado 2: The Second One and Return of Nuke Em High Vol. 1 among others. I’m here on Stuff Dudes Like to bring you video game reviews, stories about my childhood and hopefully stories that truly are Stuff Dudes Like.

TWITTER: @KeefWhiteJR


thumbMike O’Brien

My name is Mike O’Brien and people keep telling me that I’m just like Louis CK – fat, awkward and lonely.  Notice they didn’t say anything about being funny.  They’re just kidding… I think.

I love to write blog posts that make people laugh and I’m never afraid to turn the spotlight on myself, as I somehow end up being the butt of many of my own jokes. I love beer, cars, football, and food. All kinds of food! Honestly, I probably need to like food a little less and like working out a little more. Either way, I’ll post about many different kinds of things but I will always try to add a little humor. I run the SDLStaff Twitter account and you can follow me there to hear my latest jokes and to keep up on the latest happenings here at Stuff Dudes Like.

TWITTER: @SDLStaff


mikeMike Bocchetti

My name is Mike Bocchetti and I am a man about town. I’m a New York City comic and have been an actor since 1992. I was the announcer on DirecTV’s The Artie Lange Show, and a regular guest on The Opie and Jim Show, The Opie and Anthony Show and The Anthony Cumia Show. I was recently in the movie The Family with Robert De Niro and I was on the TV show Monk. Besides all that I loves vintage muscle cars and I have a soft spot in my heart for hot chicks that like me back.

TWITTER: @mikebocchetti


aneesaAneesa Mirza

As a young girl I was always ‘that girl.’ You know the one that has her head in a book at all times and is constantly rewriting her diary entry in to new notebooks in the neatest handwriting? My younger brother would call me Lisa from The Simpsons and he sure as hell was Bart! But as I grew up I was happy to find that those traits never changed. I still keep a journal and I still adore reading. I am currently working as an Editorial Assistant for a small Publishing House in Central London, I contribute articles to several magazines and am working on my own novels and short stories. To keep up with my work kindly visit www.aneesamirza.wordpress.com and follow me on twitter.

TWITTER: @mirza_aneesa


danielDaniel Tomlinson

I came to Nashville in 1991 from Flint, Michigan to attend Lipscomb University. I graduated in 1995 with a degree in religion, and in 1998 I married Carey Earheart, a student at the University of Evansville. In 2002 I finished a masters in religion at Lipscomb University, and we became parents in 2004 to a precious daughter who is, amazingly, a tween now. When I’m not operating my business we spend time in Watersound, cheer for Vol football, and Lady B Basketball (A-Sun’s Lipscomb). And when I’m not doing that with my girls I’m here writing for you, my fantastic and loyal readers. Thank you for reading my drivel.

TWITTER: @danieltomlins72


toddTodd Smith

Hello! I’m Todd, and I’m a 23 year-old openly homosapien from Buffalo. I’m a writer, an artist, with an affinity for music, and I’ve got a PhD in sleeping. It’s not unusual to find me reading something so enticing that my eyes dry out from a lack of blinking, nose-deep in a good Facebook status and/or Tweet, causing conflagrations in the kitchen, or eagerly salivating in line at Moe’s. (Seriously… am I supposed to say ‘thank you’ when they say ‘welcome to Moe’s’ or…?) I’ve joined the SDL team to share my love of language, both native and foreign, as well as a bunch of other things I haven’t decided on yet. Stay tuned. In the meantime, you can follow along with my written works at http://wordsmitht.wordpress.com or with my experimental adventures in cooking and baking at http://foodsmitht.wordpress.com.

TWITTER: @jefermelesyeux


willieWillie Cintron

Willie hails from San Antonio, Texas. His wrestling knowledge is embarrassingly impeccable. His humor is drier than the Sahara Desert and makes you cringe and laugh simultaneously. He is a stylist during the day and a Twitter assassin by night. He has worked as a publicist, bookkeeper, sales rep and banker. He’s done it all and he is always for hire. He is a lover, not a fighter. His last 3 girlfriends are literally insane. Be cautious women.

TWITTER: @WillieStufff


jackJack Wichard

Name shouldn’t be too difficult to figure out, It’s under my picture. BRFC supporter, and zookeeper. I Write articles right here on Stuff Dudes Like! Also, I’m hideously uninteresting if anyone’s into that.

TWITTER: @JackWichard


thumbVictor Victor

While it’s been confirmed that Victor Victor is an actual person (though Victor Victor could still be a pen name), some of his claims – like being the inventor of the semicolon – have yet to be substantiated. He’s wanted for questioning in three countries, all for driving-related incidents and he’s rumored to be one of the photographers who caused Princess Di’s fatal crash. Honestly, we wouldn’t blame you if you just scrolled right past his editorials (we don’t read them either).

TWITTER: @SDLStaff


salSalvatore Morocco

They call me “The Main Event”! Whether its in a ring, at a poker table or here on Stuff Dudes Like… I’m the best you’ll ever see! I am a professional wrestler. I have just begun to make a name for myself around the wrestling world. Most notably defeating Zach Gowan and Gregory Iron in recent tag-team action. On top of being both a lifelong fan of wrestling and involved in the business, I have been involved in the music industry, the fashion world and the world of film making. These skills I’ve picked up give me added experience that I hope will translate into an enjoyable and informative reading experience. Join me for stories about the world of professional wrestling and the people in it.

TWITTER: @SalvatoreMorocc


mike2Mike Lerchenfeldt

Science and Informational Literacy Teacher in the Chippewa Valley Schools. Alum of Oakland University and Saginaw Valley State University. Member of the Michigan-Shiga, Japan Student Exchange Committee. Taught in New Zealand through a teacher exchange program. Dedicated to student success. Enjoys being an active member of the community. Blogger for Digital First Media writing mainly about education, health, and travel.

TWITTER: @mj_lerch


jasonJason Smith

Hey readers of Stuff Dudes Like! My name is Jason Smith. I am a stand-up comedian from Albany, NY. I have been doing the standing up and telling jokes since 2008. I have performed all over the northeast, the entire east coast and Los Angeles. I’ve opened for big name comics, like Doug Stanhope. I have stories to tell. I also have a passion for professional wrestling, beer, video games and other things that I’m sure make you go “Oh, I can relate to this Jason Smith guy!” Please come along with me, as I write about those things. Also, follow me on Twitter, where I occasionally say things that make people chuckle.

TWITTER: @ComedianJasonS


chris mChris Monroe

Being a first time Dad to a 16-month old doesn’t lend to much time for writing. On the contrary it does offer a plethora of stories, memories and moments to write about and share. As any dad would know the stories of diaper accidents and spitting up food are abundant and I will try to spare you the gross details. However, from time to time I would like to stop by and share with you dudes some random fun stories that parenthood and life have brought along the way.

TWITTER: @turtle868


holtRobert Holt

Robert Holt is a St. Louis native and has been writing horror fiction for years. He has short stories published in dozens of anthologies and on the web. His first novel, Death’s Disciples, was released in the summer of 2014. His second book was a 360 degree turn from the splatterpunk style of the first. The Vegetarian Werewolf was a toddler horror anthology for the 4 to 7 age range. He has also started assisting with the production of a documentary film about the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark children’s book series. He is a boxing enthusiast, a dedicated hiker, a beer aficionado, and a beard wearing hipster.

TWITTER: @HoltHorror


headshots, kids, portraits childrenMatt Walker

Matt Walker is a Los Angelesean Floridian with an opinion. If you need hard-hitting time devouring op-eds that concern YOU, Matt will provide them. Call him an intellectual or a savant, he won’t know the difference.

Matt has been called writer, artist, musician, improviser, failure, and disappointment.

The proof’s in the links:

TWITTER: @mattwindwalker


thumbChristian Chandler

Christian Chandler is from the great state of South Carolina. Chris has worked on newspaper staffs, radio broadcasting sports and country music, management, counseling, political involvement and much, much more. If it’s interesting he likes it and wants in. His writing covers a number of topics. You might read about sports, social and political issues, health and nutrition issues, and basically whatever his creative mind comes up with. There are so many layers to Chris even he might not find them all before his life ends. He passionately loves his wife. Has a great attraction to Christianity and Eastern Religions. Particularly the psychology of the east to give some answers to our out of control society that seems to thrive on hate and a “us” verse “them” mentality. If you want to read the same old stuff that has been written a million times or just read stuff that is “preaching to the choir” because it enforces your strongly held beliefs that you just aren’t willing to have challenged, Christian Chandler may not be your guy.

TWITTER: @AuthorChrisC


ryan bRyan Bailey

The name is Ryan Bailey and the town is Buffalo NY. I ‘m a graduate from the (not so) famous Cheektowaga NY school known as Cleveland Hill. When it comes to my social life, I’m the 19 year old fat, funny, and deaf kid that everyone loves… I think. When it comes to sports I’m a fan of every sport, even cricket. I just don’t know the rules but who needs rules! I play baseball, basketball, hockey, football, and soccer all recreationally though. I’m an avid fantasy sport player who has yet to win money. It reminds me of  last 15 years of my favorite team the Buffalo Bills (mark my words, I am guaranteeing the Bills make the playoffs in 2015!). When it comes to my favorite teams you can say I got a weird bunch. For football I enjoy the losing talents of Buffalo and Cleveland. When it comes to baseball it’s all about the Yankees and Indians. In hockey I’m fans of the Sabres and Blue Jackets. Basketball, the Celtics (yes I know it makes no sense) and the Cavs. Also I’m a Bandits season ticket holder. “What’s he got?? Nothing!!”. I’ll leave you with this all you need to know about me… I love sports, I love my family, I love beer, and I love deaf people.

TWITTER: @R_Bailey11


 NaseehaNaseeha Tayob

Small talk with a big mouth.

TWITTER: @naseehatayob


jeffJeff Bauer

I am originally from St. Cloud MN, and I currently reside in Wisconsin. Life is tough being a Vikings fan in Wisconsin. I am an avid player of Fantasy Sports and have been quite successful I have played since 1989. I am a big movie buff along with being a video game geek. I am also the official Fantasy Football Guru for Izzy Presley’s Another F’N Podcast!

TWITTER: @jbauer36


sunshineSunshine Peterman

Sunshine. Real name. Born of hippies. I was taken to a nudist camp as I a kid but regrettably, blocked it out. I’m the single mom to ten “children” ages, 20,18,18,17,17,16,15,15,13 and 2. Five daughters and five sons. 5 bio and 5 adopted from foster care. I was a foster kid as a teen therein my mission. I blog about adoption awareness, foster care reform and living with a houseful of hormones. I’m a hippie at heart and believe in the power of humanity, and personal enlightenment. I’m a quote, diet coke and Doritos addict. I believe there’s profound good inherently in people & power in words, together that’s unstoppable.

TWITTER: @momsterof10


wordsmithSamuel Wordsmith

Samuel Wordsmith is a semi-consistent writer and a frequent, part time optimist. Much of his day is spent wishing he was a guinea pig, writing scripts and shouting, via Twitter, at inspirational quotes.

See you in the afterlife atheists.

TWITTER: @SamuelWordsmith


ronRon Palmieri

I run the pop-culture website It’s Cool To Me, Dammit! where I write articles, draw web comics and make videos all about comics, video games, super hero movies and lot’s more. Want to debate Marvel vs. DC? I’ll tell you why Marvel rocks and why you’re wrong. When I’m not blogging, I like food. All kinds of food. Good food, bad food. Making food and dissecting food all to make sure I get the perfect bite! And the best part is washing it all down with a delicious craft beer. My hope is to write some things that all the dudes (and dude-ettes too) like!

TWITTER: @ronofthemill


CLAYClay Thiessen

Hey guys, my name is Clay. And here’s a few things about myself.. Sagittarius, outdoorsman, musician, style snob, loner, recovered addict, boot hoarder, classic rock enthusiast, chairbourne warrior, weekend drinker, cigar lover, I prefer cats over dogs, pizza is the preference, small town kid and I would do anything for my friends and family. I’ve been asked to describe myself in 3 words, and my response, “Fast, Easy, Free”. Live fast, be easy and never take freedom for granted.

TWITTER: @ClayTheGringo


robertRobert Leigh

After bartending his way around Spain and the West End of London, Robert Leigh returned to his home city of Liverpool and began writing. Leigh’s works include Kill Line (Book One of The Retribution Trilogy) and From Lime Street to Yirgacheffe (a true story, of sorts…). He lives in Liverpool City Centre and continues to write in numerous genres.

TWITTER: @RLeigh78


joshJosh King

A publicity stunt in high school lead me to appearing on national television at the youthful age of 17. After appearing on ESPN’s Outside the Lines in 2005, I was able to get into mainstream media. I’ve been published in both the Pittsburgh Post Gazette and Pittsburgh Tribune Review. I’ve been transitioning into radio in the Pittsburgh area. I’ve lived in Chicago, Virginia Beach, Washington DC, and even had a brief tenure in Minnesota. I look forward to contributing celebrity interviews and random columns for Stuff Dudes Like.

TWITTER: @joshk65


micheleMichele Jones

Family, writing, cooking, and sports are passions for Michele Jones. She is a diehard Penguin, Steeler, and Pirate fan… really, a diehard anything-Pittsburgh fan. Michele is a published memoir writer, short story author, and poet, but she loves writing paranormal, horror, and thriller fiction. She moderates a local writing group in her hometown and critiques and beta reads for several published authors.

TWITTER: @Chelepie


chillChillbear Latrigue

I’m one of the about 150 million writers who were created when our barely literate society learned that we no longer had to use typewriters to sputter out our readable thoughts. Raised on the mean streets of South Florida during the turbulent Art Deco revival, I’ve developed a reputation as a literary ne’er-do-well who plays by his own set of rules. I’ve been an author and editor on several formidable blogs, including DrunkInaMidnightChoir.com and the late, great Wordsmoker.com. Look out, Stuff Dudes Like, this writer is likely to completely redefine how you feel about things like macramé pistol grips and the “beer before liquor” rule.

TWITTER: @Chillbear


laura Laura Elizabeth Anderson

Resident goofball, silly goose, love naps, dinosaurs, & science!

TWITTER: @dinosaurs907


joseJose Luna

Dudes… My name is Jose Luna. I’m a lifelong long video game and tech junkie and newest writer for SDL. Im looking forward to contributing gaming news and reviews to the site, and playing games with the SDL community.

TWITTER: @sohkseven


michaelMichael Carroll

Hello, my name is Michael Carroll. I am a part time mental health and human services worker, and I am also a part time chaplain. I am a U.S. Army Infantry Veteran, and I was deployed to the country of Bosnia-Herzegovina in support of Operation Joint Forge. I attended Indiana State University, where I double majored in Professional Aviation and Aerospace Administration. I then attended Ball State University, where I studied Meteorology. I am Catholic, and my faith is very important to me. My interests include music, sports, history and astronomy, and if you couldn’t already tell, I also love anything to do with Meteorology and Aviation. My favorite sports are hockey, football and baseball. At the moment, I am writing two books. One is a parody of romance novels. The other is my memoirs.

I currently live in Warsaw, Indiana with my fiance and our two dogs. I am living with and overcoming Serious Mental Illness, as well as a Traumatic Brain Injury. I hope you find my contributions to this site to be enjoyable and inspirational.

TWITTER: @CatholicArmyVet


rickyRicky James Crisp Jr

My name is Ricky James Crisp Jr. I grew up on the Left Coast in Auburn, WA. In 2004 I got my AAS Degree in Radio Broadcasting at Brown College in Mendota Heights, MN. Sept. 2001 I moved from Seattle, WA to Scottsdale, AZ. I’m a Die Hard Chicago Bears and Arizona Wildcats Basketball fan, and a huge Football, UFC, Basketball fan. As a hobby/side job I DJ and and make beats/remixes and mashups. My DJ site is djrickochet.net and you can follow me on Twitter or FaceBook.

TWITTER: @DJRickochet714


PODCASTS


cagleThe Cagle and Cory Show 

The Cagle and Cory Show is comprised of two people, Dylan Cagle and Cory Bowlin. The duo plans on making podcasting a career in the future.

TWITTER: @cagleandcory


jk2The old WZ and JK show

You can take the boys out of Scottdale, but you can’t take the Scottdale out of the boys.
WZ and JK have been friends since they graduated high school. What started off with little pranks around town, escalated quickly when they found jobs making them wealthy kids before the age of 21.
The money was a surprise to both of them as they endured financial struggles during the year of 2007. The newfound money would help the two go on the ride of a lifetime. From Maui to Puerto Rico they will tell tales of sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll. Literally. Add in massage parlors, gambling, and guns and the story just begins.
From traveling to Canada without birth certificates with guns in the trunk, to screaming at millionaire bosses in Maui (WZ 2009, JK 2010 in Puerto Rico) this show is dedicated to telling the behind the scenes of what happened at CPU Pittsburgh.
Trib Total Media built their empire then spit WZ and JK out at 24.
Now, 3 years later these two aren’t holding back.
This show will be sure to be a laugh riot. Starring Walter Zimmerman the funniest guy that isn’t famous…well…yet. A Josh Mirage production.

TWITTER: @joshk65