Search Results for: Cameron Blevins


The Signature Scent

Next month I’ll be turning 25; a quarter of a century has passed me by and as I think back on all I’ve learned, a few things stick out. Things that I can’t help but wish I’d learned sooner. It’s no small secret either that most of these lessons pertain to the pursuit of the opposite sex. Lessons like “don’t say I love you too soon,” or “don’t smother the flame that is your relationship.” And yes, those are both lessons I learned the hard way… Wow was I stupid.

Anyway, the lesson of which I’d like to discuss today is that of having a personal scent; your signature scent.

When I was in high school, I was one of the first generation douchebags who thought the point of cologne was to wear it as liberally as possible… Again, wow was I stupid. I had bottle after bottle of fragrance and regularly changed between them. I even had one that I used during marching band that I referred to as “sexy in a can.” To any of my former classmates and/or band geeks, I do sincerely apologize. My point is that I had no consistency. I had no signature scent. When I was 16 all the way through 20, my bathroom counter looked like the men’s fragrance section at J.C. Penney. Off the top of my head I remember having at least 3 different scents of the “Bod” brand, one from Avon called “R.P.M.,” another from Aeropostale named “Maximum,” the dreaded “AXE,” and even one that was given to me as a gag gift called “Jovan Sex Appeal” (Pun intended with the gag part).

axe

 Image Credit: gawker.com

Then around the time I turned 19, my father turned me onto a scent called “Driven” by Derek Jeter. This instantly became my new favorite and I began using it almost exclusively. And the rest, as they say, is history. Eventually I moved to “Driven” and nothing else. With time, this has become my signature scent. I use “Old Spice” Sport deodorant lightly with two spritzes of “Driven.”

Some of you may wonder “Cameron, what’s so important about having a signature scent?”

I’m glad you asked. There are many reasons to have a signature scent.

1. It builds upon your personality and becomes a part of you. People begin to expect it.

2. As men, we stink. Literally, we smell horrid after a hot day. This makes us more pleasant.

But ultimately for most men, this is the reason:

3. For a woman.

One thing that sticks out in my memory from almost every single one of my past relationships is some kind of statement based upon my scent. “I love the way you smell,” “You left a shirt here and I’m wearing it because it smells just like you,” and my personal favorite, “My bed smells just like you; I don’t wanna leave it.” I may be slightly paraphrasing, but those are 3 statements from 3 different relationships.

So in conclusion Gents, pick a signature scent. And remember, less is more.

 

 

– Cameron Blevins

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Cheating: A Look at the Numbers

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I’ve come to realize lately that despite my cynical attitude and infrequency of posts, I actually have somewhat of a reoccurring reader base. I just want to take a moment before my inevitable rant to thank those of you who look forward to my articles. And also let you know that while I write primarily on relationships, I am by far no expert. I simply write what I think.

And onward to the rant!

If you follow @Stuffdudeslike1 on twitter, you may recall a few weeks ago that I posted an online survey. In this survey I asked 10 questions pertaining to the dating habits of modern society. With the exception of a few snobby Reddit users, I had a great response. Over the course of this article, and possibly a few to follow, I will dive into the findings and of course give my 2 cents to boot.

Of the 100 participants in the survey, 2/3 were female. Keep in mind throughout this and future articles that when I compare the answers by gender, I will be doing percentages which will be proportionate to each other. In other words, if I say that “women were twice as like to _____ than men,” what I’m really saying is that the percentage of women who did versus women who didn’t was double the percentage of men who did versus men who didn’t. The numbers will be proportionate; the fact that more women participated will have no bearing on the comparisons.

Now that the explanation is out of the way, where should I start? I know, cheating. One of the questions on the survey asked “Have you ever cheated on a significant other?” There were 3 responses to choose from: 1. Yes, 2. No, 3. Not full intercourse.

Of the 100 surveyed, no one skipped this question. The overall result was that the majority have never cheated, with 66%. Meaning that the other 33% had cheated in some manner with 19% saying outright “Yes” and 15% saying “Not full intercourse.”

Kinda gives you hope, right? That 2/3 have never cheated. But wait until we break them down by gender. Let’s start with the men. When filtered to just the responses from men, 76% say they’ve never cheated with only 12% saying either “Yes” or “Not full intercourse.” So ladies who insist that “all men are cheaters,” maybe the problem is with you? Because the majority answered no.

Well what about the women? This is where I found it to get interesting. 60% of women surveyed said they’d never cheated, meaning that 40% have in some manner. As you can already see, women seem to be more likely to cheat than men with a 16% gap in favor of men saying “No.”

Cheating-Spouse

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As for that 40% of women who didn’t answer “No,” 17% said “Not full intercourse,” and 23% said “Yes.” When comparing percentages, women are almost as likely to flat out cheat as men are in cheating and “Not full intercourse” combined.

Now before someone gets red under the collar and jumps the gun, let me say a few things. Firstly, I’m only presenting the data as it came to me. I’m distorting it in no way. Secondly, while I’m sure that some of the cheating women may have just been lying hoes, I’m also sure that some of it may have been just as much the man’s fault. Guys, if your woman is going to someone else’s bed, there’s a reason for it. She could be a slut; or that reason could be that she’s not getting what she needs from you.

So in conclusion: Ladies, if you think all men are cheaters, look in the societal mirror; women cheat too. And fellas, I don’t want to make you paranoid, but as I just said, women can cheat too. And if she is, before you jump the gun, take a look at your relationship and see if you’re part of the reason why.

 

 

– Cameron Blevins

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MAY 2015

5-MAY

MAY 2015

A lesson in Trust

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Trust is one of those elements that really enters play in everyday life. From brushing your teeth, to driving to work, to eating lunch and more. We put our trust into lots of things, people and processes that go into most aspects of our lives. Which is what puzzles me when someone says they have “trust issues.” Now I’ll be the first to admit, I’m guilty of this as well as anyone. When the (then) love of your life leaves you for your friend, you tend to be weary of friendships, relationships and definitely mixing the two people together. When someone says they have trust issues, what they really mean is that they don’t put much stock into the character of others. And looking at society today, how can you blame them?

I get asked on a routine basis nowadays as to why I’m single. I’m not a horribly unattractive guy (though even I’ll admit I could stand to lose a few on the scales). The answer I usually give is that “I’m yet to find someone who likes me and that I can stand to be around.” And for the most part, it’s true. But there’s another part to it that I rarely admit; not even to myself. I don’t put stock into the character of others. And my latest endeavor has proved me right to not.

Over the last couple weeks I’d met and been talking to a very attractive woman who was a few years older than myself. She has a toddler (as most of the women I attract these days do- but that’s another rant), and seemed very interested in me. We texted on and off for a week or so and had added each other on the almighty Facebook. This is where the trouble began. This is gonna sound creepy, but admit it, you do it too. One day while creeping on her facebook profile, I noticed that she and a guy she was friends with were extra chummy. Now knowing some personal details that she’d share with me (and I will not with you), I assumed this was an ex. Finally I asked if she was emotionally invested in anyone else. I get the answer of “No, he’s an ex and doesn’t know when to quit.” First off, shame on me. I know better than this. But being the optimist and trying to put some stock into the character of others, I let myself believe it. Secondly, she obviously was invested with him because I didn’t even have to mention Facebook for her to know what I was talking about. I simply asked the question with no prior conversation on the subject.

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Then last week, almost as if someone had flipped a switch, she stops texting me. The next day there’s pics all over her social media of them going on an outing and she’s went “Facebook Official” with him.

What I can’t wrap my head around is this: I gave her the opportunity to be open with me on the subject. Why didn’t she? Because people generally have poor fucking character, that’s why.

Now I could message her and try to get some details, etc… But: 1. I’m not gonna be that guy who won’t leave her alone. You don’t want to be that guy. 2. I really don’t want to sit and listen to a “Well ya see, what had happen was…” bullshit excuse. C’mon kids, we’re all grownups here. Let’s not bullshit one another. She was keeping me on retainer because she hadn’t made up her mind about him yet. But why not just tell me? How selfish of her to waste my time.

Luckily I found this all out before becoming too emotionally invested. So what’s the point to all this? To let my screw up pose as a lesson to you. When deciding to put some stock back into the character of others, be careful who you try it with and be prepared to get let down. As in my case, I may have failed, but I also know her character and not to trust her. Of all those fish in the sea, I know she’s not a keeper.

Next article preview: I did an online survey on dating habits with 100 participants. My next article will divulge the results of this article and change your perceptions on who really cheats, money in relationships and much more!

 

 

– Cameron Blevins

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Cheating: No More Excuses!

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One thing I can’t wrap my head around is cheating. Recently I’ve began getting in contact more often with some friends from high school. Not full on hanging-out-everyday friendships, but merely catching up. While having a chat with an old friend, someone that we knew from those days popped up in the conversation. During said convo I learned that this person went a little wild in college and cheated on their partner numerous times. Normally, I’d call this gossip, but this person knew first hand. This kind of blew my mind, because the person in question (cheater) was a very good and honest person in the time I’d known them. So, this revelation kind of got the wheels turning in my head and I began to reflect on my own past relationships. The more I’ve thought about it, the more confused I’ve become. I’ve never had the urge to cheat on my partners. I don’t really understand the logic behind it. “I love this person. I want to be with only this person. I want to spend my life with them and go into thousands of dollars-worth of debt with them eventually. But I’m going to sleep with this other person too…”

To me, it’s really quite simple. Whether it’s a question of sex, love or whatever, I feel like this should apply: If you love them, you’re with only them (unless you guys have some kind of deal worked out, in which case it’s a completely different ball game and more power to ya). But think about it, how difficult is it to not sleep with someone else? It’s not like you just stumble into it. “Oops! Sorry my penis went in you on accident!”

cheating

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A question of the sex: Then have sex with your current partner. They’re not good enough? Then why are you with them? That’s part of finding a partner. Either teach them what you like or break up with them.

A question of love: If you love the person you’re cheating with, then 1.) You’re a horrible person. & 2.) Why aren’t you dating them instead of betraying the trust and feelings of someone who cares about you?

Cheating isn’t something you can accidentally do. It requires action. It requires thought. It requires betrayal. Too often today cheating is chalked up to being young and stupid. Really? Is that really what dating in today’s society has devolved to? A ritual where you can’t trust the person you’re supposed to be spending your life with? I call bullshit. Cheating isn’t an issue of youth. It’s an issue of respect. Respecting both your partner and yourself to realize the kind of person you’re being. If this is supposed to be accepted as natural in today’s dating world, then fuck it. I’ll stay single. If cheating is supposed to be chalked up to the stupidity of youth, then I must be a damn genius. Let’s cut through the bullshit. You just don’t have any respect. Enough with the excuses.

 

 

– Cameron Blevins

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APRIL 2015

4-APRIL

MARCH 2015

3-MARCH

FEBRUARY 2015

2-FEBRUARY

JANUARY 2015

1-JANUARY

 

Ex Messages

Have you ever logged on to social media, or perhaps checked your phone and surprisingly found a message from that ex that you haven’t talked to in years? This recently happened to me and looking back at it now, I was kind of on pins and needles wondering what she could possibly want. Naturally, I replied and as I awaited her next message, I began to cultivate ideas as to what she could want.

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To talk about seeing each other? This is probably the first thought that goes through anyone’s mind when an ex messages them. Whether you think it to be a good thing or a bad thing, it’s usually the first thought. This could mean anything from hanging out and catching up over a cup of coffee to a full blown attempt at reconciliation. After all, we’ve all had that thought at one point or another when reflecting on past relationships: “I should call them up! Maybe we can get back together!” If you’re having this thought, please check out my past article The “Ex” Dilemma. I’m not an advocate for dating ex’s. It never ends well.

Now because of the distance between us, I knew that there was a slim chance she wanted to hang out. Since the time of our romantic fire, she’s relocated to her hometown about 2 hours away. Hanging out is possible, but very unlikely. And I knew she didn’t want to get back together because well… She’s married now. So what else could she want?

Just to talk? That’s definitely a possibility. However, I’m skeptical on this one for one major reason. The last time we talked did not end on good terms. In fact, it resulted in her deleting me from social media and not talking to me for nearly two years. During which time she got married. In my experience, once I piss a woman off to that measure, we don’t “just chat” ever again. I’m not saying I’m a dick… but if you’ve read any of my articles, you know that I don’t take any bullshit and I call it when I see it. This tends to put a stress on my romantic life considering I’m yet to find a woman who is both willing to put up with my attitude and someone who I can stand to be around. So considering our past, I scratched that one off the list. To top it off, I can’t even remember what I’d said or done to make her delete me in the first place.

unlike

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Info on the region/school/work/media? This seemed most plausible to me. She’s not from my region, but did go to college here for a few years. Therefore, it was entirely possible she was wanting some information on school or job opportunities here. I’m in the Huntington, WV area and it’s much larger than the area she’s currently in. To give you a good idea of our geographical region, think of Mayberry from The Andy Griffith Show; that’s her home town. It’s also every little town surrounding Huntington. As for Huntington, WV… think of the smallest “big” town you know. Now cut that in half and double the drug problem. Welcome to the Tristate! (KY, OH, WV)

As for the media aspect of that possibility, we both studied media in college. She went through the program after I did, so naturally I have much more experience than she does and I figured it was somewhat likely she needed help with something. Even I’m not above going to someone I hate for help when I’m in need of info.

Was any of these correct? I have no idea. We’ve chatted on and off for a few days now and I have no real idea why we’re talking. The only thing I can figure is this last one:

She wants to gauge her life choices versus how well I’m doing. She wants to keep tabs on me. My best guess is that she’s unsure about the choices she’s made and wants to see how I am in measure. Am I doing better than her? Am I making tons of money? Am I still at the radio station? Was she wrong to not give it another shot? (Before my “No Ex’s” Policy, I’d tried to get back together with her.) It’s the same reason anyone goes to a high school reunion; to see how you stack up in comparison to them these days. Now I’m sure there’ll be some people reading who are avid believers that “they just wanna chat; no one does that.” Really? Think about it really hard for a second. You’ve never looked your ex up on Facebook to see what they’re into these days? Don’t lie to me. You have just like I have. We’re all guilty of it. So it’s entirely possible that this is the reason she messaged me… Do I know for sure? Nope. Will I ever? Probably not.

 

– Cameron Blevins

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