Search Results for: A.J. DeMello


That Brady Thing

tombr

 Image Credit: CBS

At first blush, it seemed Tom Brady’s four game suspension would be upheld.

However, it appears as though Brady will not go so easily into the wife.

Tom Brady and the NFL Players Association filed a lawsuit against the NFL in federal court to lift the 4-game suspension, and are waiting the decision of Judge Richard Berman come September 4th.

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell wants to uphold the suspension, especially after it was discovered that Tom Brady had his phone destroyed.

The same phone that he refused to turn over, that contained over 10,000 texts.

What’s funny is, Brady didn’t even destroy the phone himself. His assistant destroyed it while Tom sipped his chamomile tea and drew pictures of frowns.

“The league has no hard evidence,” Kraft says. “I’ve come to the conclusion that this was never about doing what was right or just.”

Tom got serious about his stance and took to Facebook:

“We even contacted the phone company to see if there was any possible way we could retrieve any/all of the actual text messages from my old phone.”

Really, dude? You DESTROYED your phone.

tom-brady-cellphone

 Image Credit: larrybrownsports.com

Well, actually, someone with a little more balls did, but nonetheless..you had your phone destroyed and didn’t tell anyone about it for months.

So ugh, yeah. If I’m Tom Brady, I’d be thinking about how easy I may be really getting off here (and it’s not because I watch my wife get with the pool guy).

“To suggest that I destroyed a phone to avoid giving the NFL information it requested is completely wrong,” Brady said.

Notice how he says A phone – already distancing himself from it?

Yes, A phone was destroyed.

Brady’s agent, Don Yee, had to explain why Tom would do such an irreverent thing; like hurt an object that could very well be giving him testicular cancer.

Digesting how things unfolded, you come across a couple of interesting things..

First for Brady, it was withholding evidence. Then – destroying it. And the Patriots actually have the audacity to claim they’re innocent after that? I’m sorry, but Tom Brady is no Joe Pesci, and not everyone is so convinced.

The NFL already offered to reduce Brady’s suspension if he would just admit his wrongdoing, and he declined. Which I like, because maybe Brady shouldn’t get off so easy.

Brady should say no to two games less and say YES to Pete Rose introducing him as ‘the model citizen’ before throwing a deflated ball at his nutts. That’d be a good game of ball, dude.

“Tom Brady is a person with great integrity,” Robert Kraft says.
“Personally, this is very sad and disappointing.”

Like the Patriots not having a diamond asterisk on their championship ring(s)?

There’s a chance that Brady is innocent, and that the documents his party sent to the league that apparently contain those texts are all there, and inspected clean.

There’s also a chance that I’ll be able to levitate when I yoga.

The NFLPA is hellbent on changing the outcome here, and there are some legitimate questions that remain for some, like why NFL commissioner Roger Goodell didn’t interview Patriots official locker room attendant Jim McNally and equipment assistant John Jestremski about their involvement in the deflation(s)?

Well, the NFLPA explained that since both men denied any involvement in the deflation of footballs, there was, “no need to call them as witnesses.”

The NFL then concluded that “their testimony would have confirmed Brady’s involvement”.

Let’s say Goodell had called Jestremski and McNally, and they don’t snitch on Brady. Then, Goodell doesn’t really have a case. Goodell NOT calling them gave him more reason to uphold Brady’s four game suspension without having to rely on ‘ball science’.

There is truly some shadiness going on for both sides, however. Tom Brady being disciplined under the “Gameday operations manual” policy, which has never been made available to players, isn’t exactly fair – but interesting. That’s for sure.

Long story short: the NFL is getting Brady for conduct detrimental to the integrity of the game (AND – they called his kid fat).

The NFLPA thinks that the NFL can’t impose a suspension for these cheating violations.

Meanwhile, the NFL thinks that the NFLPA should STFU.

Goodell is apparently doing some things right, at least if you ask Hall-Of-Famer (former Raiders scout & executive) Ron Wolf: “Way to go on that Brady thing,” Wolf said to Goodell during his Hall Of Fame jacket presentation.

Goodell could barely contain his laughter.

Not all think Brady is guilty. Even some `political’ people have come out to defend him.

“I think it’s ridiculous the way they’ve treated him,” Donald Trump said. “He’s a friend of mine..”

tom-brady-donald-trump

 Image Credit: foxsports.com

Well, that just makes everything Tom Brady may or may have not been involved in rather OK, doesn’t it?

September 4th is a big day. Judge Richard Berman will have made his decision whether or not to overturn Roger Goodell’s four game suspension for Brady. However, Article 46 of the NFL’s collective bargaining agreement gives Goodell the power to hear appeals, and unless the circumstances are so extreme, a federal court cannot intervene with Goodell’s decision.

In other words: Apple Sauce bitch.

Brady’s attorney Jeffrey Kessler submitted in court a list of 18 arbitration’s dating back to 1970 that have been overturned in the same court system hearing Brady’s lawsuit (Southern District of New York and Second Circuit). It’s cute, but it doesn’t mean it’ll give Judge Berman a big enough woody to bounce the ball in Brady’s favor.

Although reports have surfaced that the Judge is leaning towards exonerating Brady, not wanting to kneel to the Commissioner and all. Plus, to be one of the few Judges to overturn an arbitration in this court system while giving the NFL the finger in the process must seem rather satisfying.

Some questions remain unanswered.

If Brady is exonerated, what if more damning evidence comes out against him in the future? Does Judge Berman want to be the guy that got it wrong after initially being perceived as the guy that got it right?

What will actually happen to Tom Brady?

Will he be suspended four games? Will he just serve one game? Or none?

Who can he appease to clean the asterisk dust from his thumbs?

Who knows…just don’t do something stupid, NFL fans; like asking Tom Brady to hold your phone.

Excuse me – A phone.

I’d hate to get too touchy when talking about Tom Brady; a man being paid a King’s ransom to place his hands under another man’s sack to grab balls deflated to his liking.

Supposedly, at least.

 

 

– A.J. DeMello

TWITTER: @humorousfiend
FACEBOOK
humorousfiend.blogspot.com

The Trump Huffs

Remember that show, Hey Arnold! ? It was an alright kids show back in its day, and was somewhat entertaining for the whole family.

arnold

 Image Credit: nicktoons.com

The opposite could be said for Donald Trump. Whenever this man starts to say something he thinks is profound and proliferate, I think: Hey Donald!

You’ve got to admit that Trump is one interesting sunova bitch.

He’s also got somewhat of a stupid looking head, which is unhealthy.

Donald Trump’s head is so toxic that his hair piece can’t be in the same room with little children.

trumphair

 Image Credit: peopleoflancaster.com

It’s becoming more clear that Donald Trump is in fact a gift from God – in the way of vocab-sharts.

Donald Trump is to America what Ghandi is to people who are addicted to snacks; kind of a douche, yet somewhat revered (like the Antichrist).

Anyways, Trump has been making news left and right. When he’s not saying, “I want to make America great again”, he’s been kind of racist. When referring to Mexicans that have crossed into America he called them rapists, as well as accusing them of bringing drugs and crime. He then continued his statement by saying, “And some, I assume, are good people”.

Bravo, Donald Trump. You are quite the presidential candidate, so understanding and all knowing. Sort of like Jeb Bush, who’s so in touch with the times he thinks Americans need to work longer hours.

In other news, Donald Trump butt-plugs just hit the market!

If there’s one thing we know, it’s that Trump isn’t afraid of sticking his head in places they shouldn’t be. He even got into a twitter feud with escaped drug lord El Chapo recently, who like many took offense to Trump’s remarks about Mexicans.

Trump took offense when El Chapo said he couldn’t commit to Trump as his VP. So you can understand the dislike there. The truth is that Trump crossed El Chapo off his VP candidate list as soon as El Chapo asked Americans to hide him from authorities in exchangee for ten million dollars.

Trump would never EVER give away that much money to someone to hide him and his hair-thing.

Donald Trump is being seen as such a sideshow right now that the Huffington Post announced on Friday that they will no longer be reporting on his presidential campaign in the political section of their site, and will only post news of him in their ‘Entertainment’ section. So when you feel like you’ve had your fill on Kim and Kanye, look no further than the rattrap on Donald’s head.

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 Image Credit: russia-insider.com

No matter how serious you take Donald Trump, he’s actually leading in the Republican GOP polls with 18% of the vote, which is 4% more than the Republican favorite, Jeb Bush.

What I love hearing is some people referring to him as “fearless”, despite the fact that he declined to sit in with the Pope on a puff-puff-mass.

Trump may be comfortable and confident while speaking in front of people, but that doesn’t mean he’s good at it or that he’ll “Make America great again”. It means he’s a loudmouth with an ego that cares mostly about his own feelings, and that his farts probably smell like shit.

Trump is fairly old, and a lot of people think of him in the opposite way he thinks of himself; that he’s out of date. Think about it – we’re talking about the man who ordered a hit on The Boy Who Cried Wolf.

The guy’s been around for a while, OK? He’s not crying wolf, though. He’s crying, “please let this lead to a reality TV show”.

Which this pretty much already is. This is reality TV at its finest:

Set-up.

Loud.

Assholey.

You know, the three basic qualities of entertainment.

The face-off for the Republican party bid for President is going to have a cinema-type feel to it. I can picture a blockbuster title for it:

“Donald Trump vs. Jed Bush: The Force Mistakens”.

And it mistakens all too well. Between the lack of support on gay rights and the opinion that Americans need to work longer hours..Jeb Bush ain’t looking too hot either.

So here comes Donald Trump with his border patrol-type demeanor and cactus mouth, trying to appeal to the masses by saying he employs hundreds of Mexicans…thinking that will smoothe things over on the rape-calling front.

Donald Trump hasn’t been shy to call out Jeb Bush as a “total disaster” and asked, “how the hell can you vote for the guy?”

Well…maybe if the choice for president is between him and you.

This presidential campaign is starting to get spicy, folks. Are your wallets ready to salsa?

Are you a Hillary buff? Do you dig Donald Trump?

Do you long for a weekend at Bernies?

All important political questions we’ll soon find out.

There will be much more material to come out the closer we get to the election. It’s in a little over a year, so maybe by then Donald can build a house of sanity around his campaign. A campaign that doesn’t revolve around saying idiotic crap, like saying Sen. John McCain isn’t a war hero because he was captured in Vietnam.

“I like people that weren’t captured,” Trump said. “He’s a war hero because he was captured.”

A Navy pilot, McCain was shot down and captured for almost SIX YEARS in Vietnam.

Hey Donald! Can you actully Trump that? When have you done anything for our country that can relate to that experience to merit having an opinion like that?

Trump majors in real estate, and wears depends when he golfs. His big hit was “The Celebrity Apprentice” (which was just canceled by NBC). I’m sorry, but that does not justify his opinion(s) or hide the fact that he called a famous veteran a phony for being shot down and captured by the North Vietnamese.

That, along with his racist remarks about Mexicans, is the kind of thing that makes people want to give you a titty-twister. The reality is that, most see Trump as the phony.

Donald Trump running for President? That’s like trying to open up a can of beans with a hotdog. It’s like, Wtf. How is this really happening?

 Image Credit: mnginteractive.com

Donald Trump has put himself into the loony bin, and he can’t even deny it. He should’ve known he was going to the loony bin as soon as he busted out a black book of spells while high on LSD, watching the Disney channel.

Acually, there was no black book of spells or LSD. Trump just likes sitting on his magnificent dud-seat with the Disney channel on – murmering to himself what child actors will morph into whores (probably).

“I’m really rich”, is what Trump says. Worth over ten billion dollars, this man, like other presidential hopefuls, will still ask for your money. And then fight people you shouldn’t even joke about fighting on social media. Be racist. Besmeach war heroes. Have his merchandise removed from your local Macys and Salvation Army.

And then rub his scalp with some unadulterated crisco.

I say lube it up, Donald… lube it up.

Just don’t lube it up in front of a war memorial or taco truck.

 

 

– A.J. DeMello

TWITTER: @humorousfiend
FACEBOOK
humorousfiend.blogspot.com

Hey 49ers: What’s Your Deal?

A fourth player has retired from the Niners this off-season. FOURTH. You can get why a fourteen year veteran like defensive-linemen Justin Smith would retire. The guy’s played a tremendous amount of ball, and he’d probably like to remember that he has some of his own.

The news that’s a bit shocking is 49ers offensive-tackle Anthony Davis, the former 11th overall pick in the 2010 NFL draft, has decided to retire. Which is big, when you consider that runs outside the right tackle for the Niners averaged 6.8 yards per carry when he played 50% or more of the time, as opposed to 3 yards per carry, which is what runs outside the right tackle spot were when he played 50% or less of the time.

anthony-davis

Image Credit: nj.com

Davis says he plans to take “a year or so off” to allow his brain and body to heal from recent injuries that plagued his 2014 season. Although that seems like a good enough reason to not play for SF this season, why take so long to say so?

The NFL Draft already happened, you know. What an awesome time to inform the Niners of this, Anthony Davis. I’m sure Trent Baalke is responding to a flood of texts saying, “LOL. I don’t even know..” What we do know is that the Niners are expecting their seventh round pick out of Florida, offensive tackle Trent Brown, to compete for the right tackle job vacant after Davis’ retirement. Standing 6’8 and weighing 355 pounds..for the love of God, Brown better be able to compete.

The guy who stepped in at RT last year when Davis got hurt was Jonathan Martin (traded from those bullies in Miami), who did not do so good. Maybe because an anonymous person in locker room thought it’d be funny to get him a dolphin ankle bracelet. Which was a big topic amongst the linemen, especially when they hit the showers and asked him to flop around and make noises like a fish. So naturally, Martin was waived. The bully on the inside was never identified, and could still be at large. But life goes on in Niner-land.

Other options at right tackle outside of the rookie Brown are guard Alex Boone and tackle Erik Pears.

When you take a step back and look closely, this Anthony Davis retirement makes you wonder about the other ones. First SF had their all-pro linebacker Patrick Willis (30) decide to end his career early, and then, they must have thought, “well, at least we got a young buck in Chris Borland to step right in for him..” Not so fast.

PatrickWillis

Image Credit: sfgate.com

Last year’s leading tackler for the 49ers, rookie linebacker Chris Borland, retired earlier this off-season due to concerns about living the rest of his life with head trauma. He says that he’s suffered concussions once while playing soccer in eight grade, and again while playing football in high-school. He thinks he may have had another concussion last year in training camp, and thought it best to not risk further injury by calling it quits.

Which is understandable. But then Anthony Davis comes forward with almost the same line, except he leaves open the option of playing again sometime in the near future. People will understand, right Anthony? “I know many won’t understand my decision, that’s ok.” Or not.

Now the question is, will his future be with the 49ers? Or more importantly, is that future with new head coach Jim Tomsula?

Something is wrong in San Francisco. Four players retire, and three of them are 30 years old or younger. And THEN they trade their pro-bowl punter to Cleveland.

Ugh, WTF?

Well, I think the answer to this is rather simple, folks. 49ers owner Jed York – he ugh, smells bad?

Whenever former 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh was around York, York would often joke saying, “Hey Jim. Did ya forget to shave?”

And Jim would say, “Did you forget to shower?”

york

Image Credit: foxsports.com

It’s rumored that Jim Tomsula and Jed York spent a good amount of time hugging this off-season to commence the hiring, and a bit of York’s yuck-get-away-from-me smell may have latched on to Tomsula – and now his cat’s dead.

Ever since the 49ers moved into Levi’s stadium in Santa Clara last year, things have gone wrong. I mean, they were sort of bound to with at least two people dying building the damn place. Things weren’t going well even leading up to last season for the Niners.

When Jim Harbaugh and Jed York weren’t hiding each others ballpoint pens, they were ding-dong ditching each others Moms house (you know, man stuff).

What became of that?

Their starting quarterback Colin Kaepernick had a down year, the 49ers missed the playoffs, and fans at Levi’s stadium got REALLY sunburned.

Jim Harbaugh was the first to go after their 8-8 dismal 2014 season, but he wasn’t the last. The 49ers team this year will be a lot different than it was last year, considering that a 10 year Niner veteran in running back Frank Gore is gone. Former top ten pick Michael Crabtree is gone. Joining him are Mike Iupati, Anthony Davis and Patrick Willis – all former first round 49er selections as well. Chris Borland, Chris Culliver and Justin Smith are all gone, too. All of those guys were starting, pro-bowl caliber players, and that’s not even counting recently traded pro-bowl punter, Andy Lee.

Players today are aware now more than ever about what head injuries can do to you, and how some players not that far into retirement can begin to show signs of CTE (Chronic traumatic encephalopathy). Supposedly, the NFL is the safest it’s ever been in regards to head injuries, with there being better precautions implemented to keep guys off the field if they shows signs of having their bell rung.

Hell. Joseph Maroon, a league consultant and neurosurgeon for Pittsburgh Steelers, has been quoted saying that riding a bike or skateboard is more dangerous than playing football. Where was that line this off-season when 49ers head coach Jim Tomsula needed it most?

To see three players, three YOUNG players, just up and retire at an early age..it bodes the question: would they have done the same thing had Jim Harbaugh still been head coach of the Niners? I think that’s a very good question, but not one we are likely to get the answer to. At least not right now.

Not while Jim Harbaugh is busy running around with his shirt off during football practice at Michigan..oh no.

Harbaugh’s got all of his ballpoint pens together, and he’s making changes on the daily. Except the changes he’s making at Michigan aren’t driving players to retire or change teams. Nope. That’s something Jed York is waay more skilled at.

I feel bad for Niner fans, who may even be seeing the last season of the Colin Kaepernick era, if he does not perform. Think about it, the way the eam structured his new contract last year, they could cut or even trade him next off-season and not lose that much money at all.

One place Kaep probably won’t end up if he leaves is in Houston. He sent out and then quickly deleted a social media post of a picture of floods in Houston with a #7stormsComing hashtag beside it. That reached well over a million fans…referencing how people will take notice of his improved game this season.

Which is kind of absurd.

I mean, who does he think he is exactly, a weather man? Look, Kaepernick. Instead of trying to get people to focus on your individual play, MAYBE you should just focus on keeping your team above water, dude.

colin-kaepernick

Image Credit: psychcentral.com

Otherwise there could be even more changes coming in SF – and if I’m a 49er faithful, I really really hope that there doesn’t have to be any more drastic ones.

Hey at least Jed York got his new stadium though, right? That ought to help weather the storm of change.

Better to look good when you’re in question rather than look awful.

I’d say just ask Al Davis about that but, you know; the guy’s kind of dead.

Hopefully for the 49ers..they aren’t, either.

 

– A.J. DeMello

TWITTER: @humorousfiend
FACEBOOK
humorousfiend.blogspot.com

Deflate-Steak

Tom Brady has done it again, folks. He’s managed to smile that big fake smile and dodge the truth yet again. What truth? That he accepted and then turned down an opportunity to do a commercial for the Tobacco companies (you know, the people who don’t lie about shit)?

Look. Tom Brady is to America what a turd in the toilet is to the next person who enters the bathroom stall; annoyingly dreadful, and corny as fuck.

Did Tom Brady cheat? Well, the NFL thinks so. And HE’S their golden boy, so I think it’s fair to say that him not turning over his phone or the fact that the Patriots denied the NFL a second interview with Brady’s ball boy looks kind of bad. The whole, “there’s not conclusive evidence” defense – that kind of answer only really works when Brady is asked why Gisele can’t even cook a steak.

tom

Image Credit: Comedy Central

The fact that some of the other big time quarterback’s in the NFL such as New Orleans’s Drew Brees or Denver’s Peyton Manning have dodged questions about Deflategate and not come to Brady’s defense at all says a lot. The fact that you got some former teammates of Brady on TV split on whether or not he’s a cheater, says a lot. And please stop it with the “Brady didn’t know guys on staff were sneaking balls into the bathroom to deflate after officials approved them for game use..”

Yeah, ugh-huh. Just like how Bill Belichick didn’t know that filming another team’s defensive signals at their practice was against the rules, right?

Let’s face it: by not cooperating with the Ted Well’s investigation, the Patriots and Tom Brady cost themselves a 1st round pick in 2016, a 4th round pick in 2016, not to mention a one million dollar fine as well as a four game suspension to golden boy Tom Suspicious (who can practice his aim for a month straight on Gisele by the way of golden showers). The Patriots can’t just withhold evidence and say, “well, we’re innocent because there’s not enough..”…please. It’s their own fault for not cooperating with the NFL that the NFL came down with this ‘harsh’ decision on them. You admit guilt by not admitting to anything at all, plain and simple.

I mean, how is it that Tom Brady could withhold his phone and NOT look suspicious?

The NFL abolished the tuck rule, you son of a bitch. You can’t get away with THIS one.

guilty

Image Credit: nola.com

You know who’s getting off scott free here though is Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, who has been given no suspension of any kind. Head coaches need to be held accountable for their team’s actions. Look at Sean Payton in New Orleans, who was suspended a year for his defensive-coordinator putting bounties on offensive players. Something’s not right with Belichick getting no punishment at all but hey, we’re kind of used to the Patriots getting away with things to some degree by now.

Here are some interesting stats for you regarding the Patriots and cheating:

Won three Super Bowls before getting caught for Spygate in 2007.

Pre-Spygate, the Patriots went 12-2 in the post-season.

Post-Spygate, the Patriots have gone 8-6 in the post-season.

I know I know, not ‘damning enough’, right? Well, I don’t really care if that’s your opinion. I’m just trying to sprinkle in some facts and appear like I kind-of know my shit, thank you very much.

What sucks about this whole situation is that Tom Brady will most likely get his suspension reduced from four games to two. Does that make sense for a guy and his team who’ve had the unfair ball advantage for God knows how many years? They are SO lucky Deflategate didn’t come out right after they barely beat the Baltimore Ravens in the playoffs, and instead came out after they beat the Colts by 38 points.

What’s to gain by deflating a football? Better grip, for one. The Patriots have an interesting stat I’d like to share, and know going into this, that the 22 other teams like the Patriots who don’t play in domes fumbled more often than teams that do play in domes.

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Image Credit: rsvlts.com

According to sharpfootballanalysis.com, the league average plays per fumble from 2010-14 was once every 50 plays. For indoor teams, the average was 1/55 plays while outdoor teams were 1/46 plays. The Patriots have averaged one fumble every 73 plays, almost 60% MORE than other outdoor teams, and almost 50% more than the league average the past 5 years.

Then you factor in that the 2014 Patriots were only the third team in the past 25 years to not lose ONE fumble at home. Not to mention the Patriots ran between 150-200 times more than those other two teams did in the years they hadn’t even fumbled once, so…swallow that friggin’ pill.

I know, I know…not really ‘conclusive’ enough, huh?

Well, fuck that opinion, man. You can call me a hater. Being a Raider fan, I guess you could even call me biased.

One thing you can’t call me (without looking kind of dumb) is a cheater – because I type with two fingers, and that’s even harder than typing with ten.

Ya dig?

 

– A.J. DeMello

TWITTER: @humorousfiend
FACEBOOK
humorousfiend.blogspot.com

Writing Staff

 

adamAdam Dulski

I was born and raised in Buffalo New York, but wisely adopted the 49ers as my team at the very smart age of 6. Even though I now live in the Finger Lakes, I maintain my season tickets to the Buffalo Bandits of the National Lacrosse League. Fantasy football and fantasy NASCAR are my two biggest hobbies and I treat them that way. The moment you are not having fun playing fantasy is when you need to stop, because it’s supposed to be fun before anything else.

TWITTER: @adamdulski


damianDamian Mikrut

I never take anything too seriously. I am an avid baseball and hockey fan, but never seem to pick the winners. Worried about the pussification of America and believe we are raising a nation of wimps who believe we owe them something without having to actually earn it. Borderline alcoholic with a huge passion for craft beer and even spend my free time trying to brew the perfect drink myself. I am opinionated on many subjects and I never shy away from sharing my thoughts even if they aren’t part of the popular opinion. I grew up in the shadows of the Hamptons on the island of Long and now live in the birthplace of the chicken wing. I spend six months out the year hibernating from the cold winter weather with my computer while constantly dreaming of warmer days on the beach. Living the working class dream with my wife and two kids, oh and a cat. This is the first time I have put my thoughts to paper, so now you have been warned.

TWITTER: @nyislanders19


cameronCameron Blevins

I’m a 24 year old Radio DJ/Producer in Huntington, Wv. I have the widest musical taste of anyone I’ve ever known. I can go from Sinatra to Slayer, Alan Jackson to Jackson Browne, Steve Miller to Steve Earl and literally everything in between. I fancy myself a modern Gentleman with tastes in fine cigars, aged whiskey, my personal library and my vinyl collection. I also, obviously, love to write. I have short fiction that’s been published in the Blue Monday Review and I write a restaurant review blog at tristate-eats.blogspot.com. With talents in A/V editing, DJing, Writing and much more- I’m a self proclaimed future Media Mogul. Enjoy my rantings.

TWITTER: @CamOnAir


hughHugh Hamilton

Hey! My name is Hugh and apart from writing for Stuff Dudes Like, I’m a backpacker, vagabond, and travel blogger at risingroads.com. I originally hail from County Down in Northern Ireland. I left home in 2003 and have been traveling off and on ever since. Although I’ve been to many countries, I’m not what you might call a ‘country-counter’: I prefer to take things slow and immerse myself in the local culture. I offer travel tips and advice, but my main focus is telling funny stories and relating experiences. In the finest tradition of Irish storytellers, I may be prone to exaggeration.

TWITTER: @therisingroads


mattMatt Mollett

YO! Everyones favorite werewolf from the heart land here, Matt Mollett AKA the Wolfking. Im 33 years old and I have been writing short stories my whole life, or at least the parts I could lol. I have been a welder for the biggest part of my life. I have a very this is my opinion and i don’t care if you like it attitude. I have a love of underground hip hop, movies, the supernatural,and self defense. Plus many other things that we will talk about later. So for now i bid you farewell.

TWITTER: @therealwolfking


dakotaDakota Wheatley

yo i make people laugh

TWITTER: @dakotawheatley


liseetLiseet Mata

My name is Liseet Mata and I’m from Venezuela. I love writing. I just published my first book and I’m writing the second. I also write daily on my website. The first time I typed a word onto a computer, I experience a feeling of wellbeing. It was as if the puzzle piece that had been missing all my life, had finally been found. Create your own destiny.

TWITTER: @Liseetmata


katKathryn Morris

​I’m Kat, I’m 20 and from the UK. I love writing stories, reading and playing guitar. I have also created a website called The Bailey Helpline, designed to offer support and advice on anything. I’m currently an English Language and Literature student at the Open University and I enjoy writing blog posts that help, educate, or at least comfort others.

TWITTER: @katmorris20


ron2Ron George

My name is Ron George, and I am a lifelong nerd. I grew up with comic books and pretty much anything related to Star Wars. I’m damn proud of my nerdy background, because I feel like it gives me a unique perspective on life and the world. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a virgin living in my parents’ basement. I love a good, dark beer; a well-aged scotch, and a fine cigar. I’m a hockey fan (Go Pens!). I’m an aspiring novelist and hope to have my first book published by the end of 2015.

Feel free to follow me on Twitter or to check out my blog!

TWITTER: @ronsense64


morganMorgan Alexander Kosinski

When I was in the 4th grade, we were all forced to stand in the front of the class and tell everyone what we did that summer. I got so nervous, I farted half way through my report and started crying. That’s kinda how I feel trying to write this bio…So I’ll just say this. I super promise I know what I’m talking about. #Truth

I’m also the Social Media Director at Patrick Henry Creative Promotions @TEAMPHCP. Follow us on Twitter, FB and Instagram and change your life. Cheers!

TWITTER: @TEAMPHCP


2girlsStorm & Lasuzaca

We are Storm & Lasuzaca! We are here on Stuff Dudes Like to share our adventures in travel, music, food, and more. We live in Sarasota, FL and love exploring… from mangrove tunnels and islands off the coast in our kayak, to biking trails and visiting camping sites, to underwater adventures swimming with manatee, and more. We both love soccer and play recreationally on a team most of the year. A few of our favorite teams are USA, Brazil, Barcelona, Spain, Netherlands, and our local favorite the Tampa Bay Rowdies! We love living life to the fullest, taking it one day at a time. We look forward to sharing our adventures with you! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter – @stormnlasuzaca

TWITTER: @stormnlasuzaca


chrisbovaChris Bova

I am a stay at home brew dad by trade. Four kids and a wife leaves little time for a myriad of activities so I chose one that would best fill I the down time. Brewing beer! I’ve been brewing beer for three years now and just recently began writing a blog about the experience. I’m looking forward to sharing my knowledge with the SDL readers.

TWITTER: @cebova


drjDr. James J Frey

Dr. Frey lives in Lutz, Florida with his wife and best friend, Brandie. Their three children have visited more countries than many Americans have visited States, and their open-minded curiosity is the source of great pride and laughter for the Freys. Jim enlisted in the Army National Guard at 17 while still in high school in Fairfax, VA, then went into the Navy where he served four years as an enlisted Aviation Electrician making multiple deployments on several aircraft carriers. At the end of his enlistment he went to college and upon graduation worked for the Japanese Embassy teaching English at a very rural high school in Miyakonojo, Japan. Granted an age waiver, he re-entered the Navy from Japan, attended Officer Candidate School in Pensacola, FL, then went through Fixed- and Rotary-Wing Flight School in Whiting Field (next to Pensacola), followed by MH-60S Knighthawk helicopter training in San Diego, CA. Jim served as a Naval Helicopter Pilot for 12 years. In his spare time, he earned two Master’s Degrees (Philosophy and Psychology) and a PhD in Industrial and Organizational Psychology. Jim is the recipient of over 37 personal and unit awards/citations from the U.S. Army, U.S. Air Force, U.S. Navy, U.S. Coast Guard, and United States Marine Corps, including the Bronze Star.

TWITTER: @jamesjfrey


erikErik Steckis

My name is Erik Steckis. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany. I was born and bred on Long Island, went to college at Bryant University (Go Bulldogs!) and I’m now married, living in CT, working as an Auditor and I just finished my Masters of Science in Accounting from the University of Connecticut (Go Huskies!). I’m a huge sports fan. The teams I support (in no particular order): Yankees, Rangers, Manchester City, New York City FC, Knicks, and those J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS! I’m always happy to have a spirited conversation with anyone that agrees or disagrees with those choices. I also love video games and you’ll often find me in my man-cave on my PS4 (my PSN ID is DXFlounder if you want to add me). One of my biggest passions is professional wrestling. I’ve been a fan for 20+ years through the ups, downs and everything in between and I’m excited to tell you all about it. I can also quote The Simpsons and Seinfeld like nobody’s business. I’ll be looking to bring the funny to Stuff Dudes Like, so thanks for stopping by San Diego (but mainly, stay classy).

TWITTER: @ESteckis


trishTrish C.

Hi, I’m Trish. I’m super excited to be writing for Stuff Dudes Like. So a few things about me. I love travel, music, and writing and incorporate all three in my concert blog, traveltomusic.net. I especially like taking really short trips to far away places. I’m from Canada so I like hockey and beer and being polite but I now live in Northern California so I also like wine and saying “rad.” And trees… totally love trees.

TWITTER: @imtrishpie


MatashaMatasha Lee

Hi, my name is Matasha. I was born on the dusty road of 34 at the local hospital in Terrell, Tx. Many emerging artists and dreamers have grown from this very land, most famous is Jamie Foxx. My desire through writing, fashion, and music is to chase my dream just like he did and go off to developing a new name for myself, but right now I am a struggling writer who just received a job since 2010 by the grace of God. I love writing and it is one of my passions. I have two rooting fans that will stay in my audience if I ever get booed off the stage of life, my son and daughter, Amelia and Sean. They are Mommy’s heart beat. I have a blog that is growing from the soils of the earth like my story: The Beauty of my story. I have a ton of content on my blog that will help the fellow reader to walk a mile in my shoes while learning their own shoe size. I am a daughter, a sister, older and younger, an auntie, girlfriend but most of all, myself. Follow my story thebeautyofmystory.blogspot.com. Make sure you share my articles. Thank you!

TWITTER: @thebeautyofmyst


fabianFabian Malone

Hi my name is Fabian Malone. I’m from the Washington DC area. Iam a cocktail craftsman, Bar consultant & Magicians apprentice! I believe that the cocktails we drink should be made with quality spirits and the freshest ingredients. I don’t believe in artificially flavored spirits. I pay homage to classic craft cocktails as well as creating new cocktails for today. Craft cocktails taste best when made with passion and excitement. But above all else — a craft cocktail must be fun to drink! Capital’s, Celtic’s, Redskins, Oriole’s, & Nat’s DC United. #RoninBartender

TWITTER: @RoninBartender


ZenaeZenae Zukowski

Fellow dudes and dudettes, I am Zenae Zukowski and I wear many glorious hats. Not only do I write for Stuffdudeslike, but music has consumed me and I write for Crypticrock and I’m building my own Music Publication. You should call me a creative being and know that I love to passionately get my hands dirty with writing screenplays, articles, stories, and poetry. I have been in the Broadcast/Media industry for ten years now, specializing in Post Production and Distribution. The journey doesn’t stop there, I also do photo retouching, event photography and Project Management. Phew! Why wonder I am tired! My earthly self loves animals, traveling, and you’re favorite, vegetarianism. If you like my humor and quirky mind, feel free to follow me on Twitter or like me on Facebook.

TWITTER: @Zenaefilmz


peterPeter Greenwood

Peter Greenwood is a writer and broadcaster from Scotland, with an unnaturally unhealthy obsession with US late night TV. He likes comics, video games and various other things of which he can talk about at length. Whether you want him to or not.

TWITTER: @Gappits


coupeJoe “Coupe” Ricupero

Hi, my name is Joe Ricupero but I go by Coupe. I’m a 17 year old junior in High School. I grew up in Brooklyn until recently moving to Long Island. I’m an avid sports fan and a fan of the New York Rangers, New York Giants, Pittsburgh Steelers and New York Yankees. I aspire to one day be a broadcaster, a dream of mine since I was a kid and this is the first step of many in my road to something big.

TWITTER: @coupeNYR


anthonyAnthony Pepe

Anthony F. Pepe is a poet, a painter, a power-lifting music producer, pugilist, playwright, part time philosopher, book-binder, baker, bodyguard web-builder. A spoken-word soothsaying security expert, sketch artist, sculptor. A domestic violence awareness activist and a mixologist, martial artist mechanic.

TWITTER: @AnthonyMFPepe


jrJuan Reyes

I am a US Army Veteran, part-time graphic designer, part-time photographer. My journey into the world of photography began as a graphic designer and photo retoucher/enhancer many years ago in Puerto Rico. I did graphic design for photographers for almost twenty years and worked hand to hand with many model agencies and hired and/or freelance photographers. Now I own a small home photo studio in Clermont, Florida. My main goal is to help talented aspiring models get their names out. Why am I here on Stuff Dudes Like? To bring you photos of models and interviews about who they are, where they’ve been, and their dreams and plans for the future. You know: Stuff Dudes Like!!!

TWITTER: @jrrcphotography


jennyJenny Ainslie-Turner

Undoubtedly, a sex chat girl of too many years and yet, I still can’t get enough of it. It is so diverse and at the same time so entertaining I never tire of it. I have even written a book on my life as a sex chat girl, ‘How to Talk Dirty – A Hands on Guide to Phone Sex’. I have been training girls in the art of talking dirty for the past 3 years and have even starred in my own TV documentary, ‘My Phone Sex Secrets’.
Since which, I have been interviewed on a popular daytime TV show, done several Radio interviews and at one time had a regular guest spot on Fubar radio. An uncensored, internet station on which the first week I talked about buggering the male presenter.

I have done countless magazine interviews including, Mayfair and Escort’s men’s mags. I have even been part of a relationship advice panel for a large UK newspaper. Also, have written articles for Rude Magazine, a female based online mag.

I have since written a second book, a fiction novel about auto-erotic asphyxiation and based around the life of a sex chat girl who is taken over by the alter ego she created to take the more bizarre and depraved sex chat. Entitled, Will You be My Fantasy? Some say it should have been called, ‘Death by Pussy!’ Well, it’s what you guys crave the most.

I have been married twice, worn them out. Now single, free and able to just explore. And, because of this I have started a new adventure. It’s taking recorded stories into the 21st century, phone sex downloads. I call them iwanks, a bit like itunes only much dirtier. You can download a very naughty sex chat, recorded by me on to your mobile and use me whenever those spunk filled balls need emptying!

TWITTER: @iwank4u2


TOMTom Romero

Tom Romero is an actor, musician, reluctant producer, long suffering husband, and occasional storm chaser. He’s acted with Dennis Quaid, opened for Pine Top Perkins, and has witnessed over 30 tornadoes. He dreams of free beer, desert islands, and a broadway show. He writes for no audience at The Uncommon Man blog. theuncommonman.nyc

TWITTER: @TomRomero2


naiaQuincy Bailey

A 40 year old father of one just trying to guide my little man down a better and less bumpy path than his old man. I consider myself a college football know it all. I’m the equivalent of a hipster football fan. “My favorite player, you’ve never heard of him”. Grew up on a farm and was able to subsidize my education through football and yes the college I played at you’ve never heard of. I wasn’t what you would call a Division One talent. Actually played for Rich Rodriquez for a short period of time in the spread before it had a name. Grew up in West Virginia and Ohio, yet remain an avid fan and supporter of WVU.

Money Quote:
“When you tell somebody somethin’, it depends on what part of the country you’re standin’ in… as to just how dumb you are.” – Bo Darville – AKA The Bandit

TWITTER: @southwvboy


brettBrett Martzke

Brett Martzke is a TV sports veteran. Over the past 20 years he has worked at the Golf Channel, CNN Sports, Fox Sports Net, TVG and NBC Sports. You name the sports event, he has covered it. As an avid sports lover he was even crazy enough to follow a lifelong dream and open up a Sports Bar. Once that dream started to turn into a nightmare, Brett realized writing about and covering sports events was better than working in a kitchen, taking orders at a register and hoping to catch a glance at a TV while running Buffalo wings out to a table. Brett’s big sports achievement is that he is the self-proclaimed carnival basketball shooting champion. If there is a big stuffed animal on the line, Brett will win it.

TWITTER: @brettmartzke


ericpEric Peinhaupt

My name is Eric Peinhaupt, I’m 23 and raised in Alberta,Canada at the foot of the Rocky Mountains. I do everything from fly fishing to building cars. I’m all about getting out there and experiencing life! Aspiring writer and BBQ pit master. I’m also the owner of European Auto Union, a car enthusiast page on Instagram. (@europeanautounion) I love a tall glass of craft beer, and all things BBQ. If you’re into cooking, drinking and outdoor life, my articles and photographs will not disappoint!

TWITTER: @ericpeinhaupt


ajA.J. DeMello

A.J. DeMello is a stand-up comedian/actor located in California. An avid sports fan, he’s written for sites such as Bleacher Report & Thoughts From The Dark Side, but will be given the freedom here to mix in the funny – no matter how unflattering he may seem to the average dummy. Born & raised in the Bay Area, he doesn’t pull any punches; having developed a sense of humor one might describe as, ‘edgy’. He appears regularly at comedy clubs such as Tommy T’s, Laughs Unlimited, and The World Famous Comedy Store. Peep his blog for upcoming show dates and see if he’ll soon be in your town. If you keep up with his articles, you’ll eventually want to see his act in person rather than not see him at all. Why? As he puts it: “It’s a Good Game of Ball.”

TWITTER: @humorousfiend


jeffhJeff Hillyard

Jeff Hillyard is an aspiring freelance blogger, content writer, and recipe developer specializing in all things BBQ and Grilling.
From true low and slow barbecue, to hot and fast grilling, to even healthy meals there is nothing Jeff does not like to cook on the grill.

TWITTER: @bbqwithjeff


SantanuSantanu Rahman

Santanu Rahman is a Metal guitarist, A Kung-Fu School Owner, a practitioner of Gracie Jiu Jitsu, and a podcaster.

TWITTER: @austinkungfu


timTim Buckley

Hi everyone I’m Tim Buckley, born and bred near to Nottingham in the UK. Currently serving in the Forces and have many deployments under my belt. I love sport and I’m a huge Liverpool FC fan, boxing, UFC, Basketball and any kind of lifting are my passions. My other hobbies are socializing, eating out, travelling and cooking. Writing for Stuff Dudes Like is going to be a good laugh indeed, I will say it how I see it! Looking forward to writing many articles.

TWITTER: @BigBuckersYNWA


martinMartin Phillips

Hey Dudes! I am Martin Phillips. I am a sixth grade teacher by day in Lodi, California, the Zinfandel capital of the world, and a kickass home cook by night. Okay, I am inside my own mind, at least. You can decide for yourself, however, and check out my food blog at inhousecook.blogspot.com and watch for my recipes HERE at StuffDudesLike.com! I have been a sixth grade teacher for fifteen years, so Nothing scares me! I have been a home cook for twelve years and have entered the small in-home catering market this last year. It has been an amazing ride and I cannot wait to share my recipes with you. I am a firm believer that bacon, pork belly, tacos, pizza, pasta and burgers should be food groups. BBQ is Heaven. Need I say more? Okay fine, I am good with the veggies, too! I cook a wide variety of dishes, from Asian Infusion to traditional carne asada and carnitas, to buffalo burgers, to elegant pastas and rustic pizzas. Look me up and give me a shout!

TWITTER: @grnmn1


fernandoFernando Martin

I have been born and raised in the Chicago area all my life. Music is the biggest passion in my life aside from beer, good eateries, movies and even settling down to indulge in a great read once in a while. I also write for the music review website, WeLoveMetal, where I review albums, concerts and conduct interviews with many musicians. Those who know me well know if you want to hit my softspot, you’ll mention animals and pets. I’m also currently going to school for music business hoping to work for the music industry one day soon. I look forward to interacting with the SDL staff and our fans! Hit me up!

TWITTER: @WeLoveMetalFern


nancyNancy Brown Lady Barber

I was born in Berkeley, California before the Summer of Love. When it came I was old enough to know that I lived in a very special place in a very special time. Dang that I was not old enough to attend any of the cool stuff.

We are native Californians for three generations on my mother’s side of the family. Before that, Norway. Dad’s people were Oakies who fled the dust bowl in the ‘30s and ended up in Solano County.

For nearly 20 years I was a law librarian for private law firms in Oakland, California. Quit that in 2006 for the much groovier trade of barbering. Nowadays I groom gentlemen for a living and paint (in oil) Oakland, its people and trees. I also garden and cat whisper when necessary.

TWITTER: @LadyBarberBrown


RomaineRomaine Ayoki Burrell

Romaine Ayoki Burrell is my name. I am student of the world. I am from St. Andrew, Jamaica. Waaah Gwaaan massive? (what’s up world/people?). I love to travel and live like a local. I am a food addict. My biggest goal apart from owning my fortune 500 company(yeah I am ambitious) is to see every country in the world two times over. I write on anything I please, even if its taboo. Looking forward to writing for you all.

TWITTER: @ayokiromaine


brianBrian Kaider

As a patent and trademark attorney, I get to work with a lot of interesting start-up companies and see fascinating new products. Whenever possible, I love to combine my work with the things that I’m passionate about, like craft beer, motorcycles, lacrosse, and woodworking. But, after a day of staring at a computer or talking on the phone, I need to work with my hands. So, you’ll often find me building something in my workshop, making pens, changing the exhaust on my Suzuki Boulevard M109R, growing hops to make my own beer, or cooking up something spicy in the kitchen and never from a recipe. At the end of the day, I’ll grab a nice porter and watch pro football or college lacrosse, where I’m rooting for the Baltimore Ravens or Towson Tigers (or whoever is playing against Johns Hopkins), respectively.

TWITTER: @bkaider


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