Archives for May2015


Bold Predictions

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Image Credit: elitedaily.com

 


The NFL draft is over, and it is officially time to start thinking about the Fantasy Football season. This has been an interesting offseason to say the least. This was going to start as an article about Deflate Gate, but that story is so overdone and stupid. Tom Brady should not be suspended 4 games, and they are overstating the importance of PSI in a football. He is more comfortable throwing the ball that way; Aaron Rodgers even stated he likes his balls over inflated (insert Clay Matthews joke here). The only reason he is being suspended is he lied and hid information from the NFL not because he is cheating, but I will get to that later. Here are some of my bold predictions going into the summer.

1. Tom Brady will not be suspended 4 games- As I stated earlier the suspension is an absolute joke, and this is getting appealed. I look for him to be suspended between 1-2 games, and with the great Roger Goodell overseeing the appeal process nothing can go wrong right?

2. Don’t draft a TE in the early part of your draft- Rob Gronkowski basically won me a fantasy championship last year, but with Brady out at least a portion of the beginning of the season his value slips a little bit, and remember last year was the first year in a long time Gronk was healthy for an entire season. Jimmy Graham will also be drafted way too high in your drafts this year. Jimmy is essentially a WR playing TE, but in Seattle’s offense he will be limited. Remember Russell Wilson is throwing him the ball, not Drew Brees that is a big difference.

3. Adrian Peterson will be a beast this year- Adrian Peterson will be rested and pissed off and will run accordingly, and I am not just saying this, because I am a Viking’s homer. Since Peterson’s suspension the Vikings offense has changed a great deal. Mike Zimmer wants a ball control offense and he will get that with Peterson. 1500 yards and 12 TD’s is not out of the question this year for Peterson. Recent reports have shown Peterson skipping OTA’s and saying he still won’t play, but the Vikings will not trade him and he will end up playing.

4. Andrew Luck is the best QB in Fantasy- Move over Aaron Rodgers we have a new sheriff in town. Andrew Luck is now a better fantasy option than Rodgers. Although he throws more interceptions; Luck will throw more touchdowns, run for more yards and touchdowns. The Colts also went out and got Andre Johnson, and Frank Gore along with 1st round selection Phillip Dorsett. This offense is going to be downright scary. The days of getting Luck in 3rd or 4th round of your draft are over, if you don’t pick him up in the 1st round he will be gone.

5. Seattle no longer has the best defense in Fantasy Football- Seattle has been the best defense for the last three years, and while I never suggest drafting a defense early they were always a good pick. There is not enough separation between the top defenses anymore like in the past. Do yourself a favor and save that draft pick for a better pick and take a defense like the Jets that will actually outscore the Seahawks in fantasy this year.

6. Melvin Gordon will have the best fantasy season of any rookie- Although I believe Todd Gurley is the better running back he is not in a great situation starting out in St Louis. On the other hand Gordon is in a great one. He is going to be playing behind a good quarterback in Phillip Rivers with a capable offensive line. San Diego was a playoff team last year and with Gordon they will only get better.

7. Demaryius Thomas will have a down year this year- Don’t get me wrong, Thomas is a stud and will be drafted high, but he will be a 1st or high 2nd round pick and I just don’t think the value will be there this year. Peyton Manning had a down year according to his standards last year, and it is only going to get worse going forward. Thomas is a great downfield threat, but with the loss of Julius Thomas things will become much more difficult for Mr. Thomas. I personally think his teammate Emmanuel Sanders will have a better year fantasy wise.

8. The #1 pick is not what it used to be- I remember when you got the first pick it was really a huge advantage, because that person would propel you to have at least a competent team. This year is not one of those years, Jamal Charles, Adrian Peterson, Eddie Lacy are some of the top players we are seeing projected at this time. I know people who know me will find this hard to believe, but I believe the safest choice is Lacy. He started off slow last year, but really blossomed. He has also turned into a very competent receiver out of the backfield which means he is now a 3 down back in Green Bay.

9. Don’t Draft Matt Forte with a high pick- Matt Forte has been a great pick the last few years even with the Bear’s offense floundering. Most of that value came with the fact in Marc Trestman’s offense he was both a running back and wide receiver, but with a new coaching regime I don’t look for him to get as many catches as he has in the past. Also, the Bears did not do much to improve their defense so look for them to be behind a lot in games which means more Cutler passing.

10. Don’t worry about Le’Veon Bell’s Suspension- Many people you draft with will pass on Bell as he has been suspended for the first three games of the year. Don’t worry about the suspension, he would have been the first overall pick of the draft without the suspension and he still warrants a first round pick. If you are picking in the middle of the first round snap him up quickly and thank me later. Remember Fantasy Leagues aren’t won in the first three weeks off the season.

 

– Jeff Bauer

TWITTER: @jbauer36
FACEBOOK

The Monster Mile

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  Image Credit: nascar.com

We are crushing it! We are top 99.69% on Nascar.com. Let’s keep it going.

Jimmie Johnson is a must start here, one of his best tracks and he has the speed this weekend.

Kurt Busch and Martin Truex are not going anywhere on our rosters with a now combined $9 in the bank on them. Doesn’t hurt that they are flying once again.

Denny Hamlin is flying, a must start if you can fit him in. I sadly can not in my personal setup.

Carl Edwards is showing speed again after winning last week, seems like he might finally have his Toyota figured out.

Kyle Busch, still “cheap” coming back from injury, only Kurt Busch and Jimmie had faster 10 lap averages in 2nd practice*. Keep gaining money in the bank on him as well.

Caution: Jeff Gordon and Tony Stewart are just not showing any speed. Beware the “value trap” here based on qualifying. I want Kyle Larson to be a pick but his practice speeds make his qualifying effort look unsustainable.

Speed on the cheap: Brian Scott qualified 27th, but was in the top 15 in 2nd practice*. He has also won a truck race here. A must start for only $7.75.

*No driver ran 10 consecutive laps in final practice, so the best data we can go off of is 2nd practice.

Ideal lineup:

Jimmie Johnson
Kurt Busch
Martin Truex
Brian Scott
Kyle Busch

 

 

– Adam Dulski

TWITTER: @adamdulski

Wine, Whine, and Fence Posts

THIS ARTICLE ORIGINALLY APPEARED ON: theuncommonman.nyc

 

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I spent most of Saturday morning researching fence posts. Right? My neighbor took down his fence to put up a new balcony, patio, and/or whatever. Now I have a romantic view of scaffolding and construction equipment. Remember, this is Brooklyn. These buildings are very close together and summer is here.

This was mind-numbing and involved math, logistics and the potential for actual physical labor. I needed a walk and…well…beer.

Just down the street, Mrs. Uncommon and I happened upon The Pines who just opened their patio for the summer. Venture down a narrow alley between two buildings and it opens up on a rustic garden with a somewhat beachy vibe. They made a smart choice to keep the ancient twisting vines that created some nice natural shade.

The lamb belly tacos were amazing (and an unexpected bargain). Tangy sauce, lamb belly, pickled onion, wrapped in an earthy corn tortilla. A good pairing with the Finback Double Sess(ion) Wit.

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I met the Finback brewers last summer at a fest in Brooklyn. Nice guys.

Our server at The Pines was super nice. Nice is good.

We walked aimlessly for quite awhile and found ourselves in Cobble Hill. It was a pleasant cool day. Mrs. Uncommon remembered she still wanted to try the June Wine Bar, which was closed the last two times we passed by. They don’t open until 5pm. Even though we’d passed by it a couple of times we still couldn’t remember the cross street. Hey, Brooklyn is big. We consulted our brain (the Iphone) for the address.

The patio wasn’t open yet, so we opted for a window seat.
I stayed with beer and Mrs. Uncommon went with a nice red. I immediately felt guilty not having wine. I love a nice wine and I’m sad all my favorite wine bars are disappearing.

Now, I love beer. I’ve made beer. I’m glad the micro-brew movement has finally made it east.
But wine is miraculous. It’s in the bible. Jesus made wine.

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It was a little warm inside and we both agreed that this was a more “wintry” place. We were still in a spring mood so we decided walk some more. The staff at June was really nice too.

Speaking of really nice people, we strolled down Court St. to Scotto’s Wine Cellar. They were having a tasting, they’re always having a tasting, of French Rosé. The problem with tastings is I almost always buy a bottle. I’m an easy mark. It’s that Catholic quilt thing. I opted for the Le Colombier Alicante. A refreshing red. Mrs. Uncommon went for her favorite Edna Valley. The store owner, I’ll call him Scotto because I don’t know his name, remembered she was looking for Edna Valley last time so he stocked up. “Despite what my wife says, sometimes I do listen”, he laughed. He’s a really nice guy.

We sauntered home. I made spicy wings. I’d procrastinated enough. Time to make fence choices.

I chose to wait another day before making any rash decisions.

Today it looks like my neighbor is putting up a brand new fence. I’m conflicted.

 

 

– Tom Romero from The Uncommon Man

www.theuncommonman.nyc
TWITTER: @TomRomero2

 

Stuff Dudes Like sends reporter to cover Da Bears teams

The Scottdale Cardinals were a professional baseball team in one of the smallest towns in the country in the 1920’s.

Almost a full century later, one sports enthusiast hopes to make his “Da Bears” sports teams the most wealthy. Armed with a strong business plan this person who wished to remain anonymous believes he can change the future of recreational sports.

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“People miss professional games to play for Da Bears. They would rather be apart of something than watch something. We have the human element. A reporter for Stuffdudeslike.com has agreed to cover both the hockey clubs and softball clubs as they travel the country. Da Bears participate in sports leagues all over the country. Da Bears play in southwestern Pennsylvania. They have teams registered annually in South Hills, Mt. Pleasant, Scottdale, and have agreed to enter a team in New Port Richey, Florida.

In Florida they will participate in the International Shootout hosted by All Sports Arena. Matt Gary will be the tournament director as always. Da Bears are currently banned from Bill’s Dek Hockey and Murrysville’s rink. “We are sorry to Bill’s Dek Hockey for we were in the wrong said the owner. We are not sorry to Murrsyville. I don’t want to get sued, so lets just say we will never talk to those people again,” said the owner.

Also of note, Da Bears owner wishes to apologize to Mark Madden, the undisputed media champion of Pittsburgh for his actions in Madden’s last ball hockey tournament. “I didn’t take my medication that morning and I saw the wrong ref. I should have listened to Mark and let it be. I’m hoping Mark removes my ban from Street Hockey USA,” said the owner.

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It has been reported that out of respect for Madden, Da Bears did not approach Mark about putting a team in nationals. Their rival at Hotshots Indoor Sports arena AIT Hockey Club ended up winning the tournament. Da Bears believe they can compete in Madden’s tournament with the help of these new sponsorships.

Paganos and Delaney’s Pub have both financially supported the team and plan on contributing their tournament entry fee if Da Bears are allowed to compete in Madden’s tourneys. Also Rocco’s Pizzeria confirmed a jersey deal with Da Bears Hockey club if they are allowed to compete in Mark’s tournaments.

We all are big fans of Mark Madden. Da Bears and AIT member Jeff Ianni has been on record in Trib Total Media’s newspapers giving Madden a public offering of support.

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Da Bears love Madden. They officially never have entered their tournament team due to scheduling conflicts in the past. Last year they entered the tournament under the name Drusky Entertainment. They had a miserable run in the 1st tourney. This past tournament as Bloodbath, they would play one solid game but would get destroyed again.

“If Da Bears get an opportunity to play in Madden’s tournament, I guarantee we win the Rec division. Anything AIT can do, we can do too,” said the owner.

This article and all future was written by SDL MEDIA on the SDL radio network

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– SDL Staff
TWITTER: @SDLStaff

Guitar Hero and Rock Band are back!

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Image Credit: gameskinny.com

 

Yes, you heard right! Activision and Harmonix are reviving the Guitar Hero and Rock Band series, respectively, after a 5 year hiatus for each of them. They will be known as Guitar Hero Live and Rock Band 4 and I, for one, could not be more excited! I’m not sure about you, but I spend hours upon hours upon hours playing these games (probably the closest I’ll ever get to being in a real band). Both games are due out by the end of 2015. While there aren’t a ton of detail out yet, here’s what we do know:

Guitar Hero Live

  • Will be available for PS3, PS4, Xbox 360, Xbox One and Wii U
  • Instead of the original 5-button guitar (blue, red, yellow, green, orange), there will be a 6-button, which will be two rows of 3 buttons each
  • As of now, this game will be exclusive to the guitar (no mic, drums, etc.)
  • There will be single player story mode and a and multi-player competition mode
  • During story mode, Instead of showing your band playing from a 3rd person perspective, this game will show your 1st person perspective of the crowd at a concert.
  • There will NOT be backwards compatibility with songs from previous titles in the Guitar Hero series
  • 32 songs have been announced so far, including songs from Green Day, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Fall Out Boy, and even Ed Sheeran
  • There will be a mobile companion app also, but no details are available yet

Rock Band 4

  • Will only be available for PS4 and Xbox One
  • New Peripheral controllers are being designed, but if you have existing controllers, Harmonix is working to make these usable with the new game
  • The career mode will consist of playing sets at concerts (similar to previous games). What’s different this time is that some songs in a set will be pre-determined and others will be voted on by the members of the band.
  • Drummers will now count a band into a song (as tends to happen at real concerts)
  • When going through songs in a set, if you finish a song with a multiplier active or with overdrive, they will carry over to the next song in a set!
  • There will be backwards compatibility with most songs from previous Rock Band titles (some won’t be available due to licensing issues). Backwards compatibility is only for the same console family (i.e. PS3 to PS4), but not cross-console (i.e. Xbox 360 to PS4).
  • Only a handful of songs are announced so far, including songs by Avenged Sevenfold, Fleetwood Mac, and The Killers.
  • People can request songs to be added to Rock Band 4 here www.harmonixmusic.com/games/rock-band/request/

So there’s what we know so far. I’m sure as all of the big game shows come out during the summer (E3, etc.) we’ll have a ton more details. Who’s ready to get the band back together??

 

– Erik Steckis

TWITTER: @ESteckis

The McGlomouses vs Double Down

On January 18th, 2018 The McGlomouses (Plunkett & Staxx) (w/ Uncle Paw Paw & Amie Mae) took on the team of Double Down (Our own Salvatore Morocco & James Santel) (w/ Big Daddy Dre) at an Empire State Wrestling show.

We were able to obtain some fancam footage of the match!

Please enjoy…

Wanking or Just Jacking off!

Wanking or tossing off. Jacking or jerking off, it’s all the same for me. I specialize in giving a guy the best ‘cum’ ever, whatever you call it. One sure thing, it is stuff dudes like, to do! Plus, it’s a very necessary part of what I enjoying doing most, making guys cum over the phone.
I have been a phone sex operator for over 14 years now, so as you can imagine I have been solely responsible for producing a hell of a lot of cum. Hence me being called a cum slut.

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Image Credit: sandiegofreepress.org

So why do guys enjoy phone sex so much? Well, there’s the easy answer, men are just dirty horny fuckers. And, there is nothing wrong with that. In spite of popular belief, it doesn’t make you go blind, nor will it drop off if you play with it too much. Mind you, that being said, I do have to wear glasses on account of my eyesight worsening. Yes guys, I’m a wanker too. Well, in fairness my partners have told me it’s like a little cock. My clitoris, that is.

However, the real reason is, you can explore a different side to your own sexuality you wouldn’t otherwise be able to explore in the real world. It is a safe way, a private way of releasing a darker side of your secret desires. I have lived in many fantasy worlds with my callers over the years. From being a mom who’s little boy still needs to be breastfed and in need of mommy’s love. To the guy who wanted to be a female pig who wanted to be the filling of a sandwich, a pork salad sandwich! I discover further into the chat that his fantasy was far simpler, he wanted his body to be smothered in food and have it licked off him. So, as crazy as it sounded and played out it was all just about foreplay.

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Image Credit: slate.com

Nothing in the fantasy world of a caller or the real world for anyone is ever what it seems. So, I say thank fuck for phone sex. Just dial that number, get your cock out and let’s share that secret, dark obsession and rid yourself of the stresses of the day. Because, at the end of the day, that’s what masturbation is all about!

 

– Jenny Ainslie-Turner

TWITTER: @iwank4u2
phonesexdownloads.co.uk (121 erotic audio)
jennyainslie-turner.com (My book website)

Interview with Becky Hebb – British Model

On April 2015 I had the opportunity to photo shoot and interview Becky Hebb. Becky is a British born, Orlando, Florida based model. This girl is just fabulous to work with, and also beautiful, talented and smart. She can talk about anything. Read on to find out what we talked about.

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JR: Hi, Becky, Where are you from?

Becky: I am from one of the many little villages that make up Saddleworth, hidden in the English countryside. With its amazing wildlife, Rolling hills, ragged moors and colorful changing seasons, it truly is beautiful!

 

 

JR:  What’s one of the most interesting shoots that you’ve done?

Becky: The most interesting shoot I have done to date was back in The UK. It was February and freezing! I was doing a glamour shoot and as part of the shoot I was wearing a dress and had to sit beside a river with my legs submerged in the water. It was bitter winter and the water was a degree above freezing. Within seconds my legs where trembling uncontrollably and I couldn’t feel a thing, luckily the images turned out great!

 

JR:  Best advice you’ve ever received?

Becky: Attitude is greater than talent

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JR: What do you do in your downtime?

Becky: I don’t really get much down time. When I’m not working, I’m playing volleyball or riding the horses so I’m always on the go.

 

JR:  If you weren’t a model, what would you want to do?

Becky: Hmm. This is a tough one. If I wasn’t a model I think I would like to be a pit girl. I have a huge passion for cars and motorbikes. I used to go racing the cars on a track in Spain and Imp a proud member of a motorbike club to call “The Pistuns” back in the UK. I was out on the bikes every weekend before moving to Florida. There’s nothing quite like the adrenaline of going fast and bending round corners. Amazing feeling!

 

JR: Do you have any hidden talents?

Becky: I have many hidden talents; there is more to me than meets the eye. I grew up competing horses in dressage and hunters with the occasional jumping too; in Spain I represented Andalucía in the Malaga regionals dressage. I also like to clay pigeon shoot with the family and I used to dance.

 

JR: What’s your favorite city that you have visited?

Becky: My favorite city would probably have to be Malaga, Spain. It’s beautiful. I lived there for over a year and it was a great time in my life. It’s also one of the oldest cities in the world.

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JR:  Sometimes the modeling industry gets a bad rap with the jealousy and egos encountered between other models and agencies. Was this true for you? Have you managed to tough it out and make good friends?

Becky: I can honestly say I haven’t yet encountered any jealousy or negativity in the modeling industry. Everybody I know, both photographers and models are lovely. I have made some great friends that I will not only continue a professional relationship with but a continuing friendship too.

 

JR: Favorite movie?

Becky: My favorite movie has to be Pretty Woman; I’m a sucker for romance.

 

JR: Five things you can’t live without?

Becky: Five things I couldn’t live without would have to be my animals, books, music, chocolate and my bed!

 

JR: Was modeling something you always wanted to do, or did it just kind of happen?

Becky: Modeling was something I kind of stumbled upon. I actually had had a terrible break up, and a friend suggested doing a shoot to try and make myself feel better, unfortunately to the guy who left me I am doing amazing with my career!

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JR: Any upcoming plans?

Becky: I don’t have any major upcoming plans. Other than photo shoots, In May some friends and I are camping for a volleyball tournament which is always fun, plus it’s my birthday too. Let the shenanigans begin!

 

For more information about Becky check out her portfolio at purpleport.com/portfolio/beckbeck/

 

 

– Juan Reyes

JR Photography
TWITTER: @jrrcphotography

 

 

Running Shoes

Do you guys remember the movie The Runaway Bride? It is a classic starring Julia Roberts. She is being what every guy desires her to be when she falls in love with them until it is time to get married and she takes off running. I mean they didn’t see she had running shoes on and not heels? Anyway, she ran so much that she became a big time story for a reporter from New York. He even fell in love with her, and he was so charming. He, for sure, thought she wouldn’t run away from him. He was everything she had desired right? Wrong! She couldn’t identify with herself. Even the eggs she liked were all based on what the guy liked. She had no clue who she was in all her mess. Eventually, she discovered herself and was able to get her prince charming back. She had a real wedding and lived happily ever after.

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Image Credit: soundtrackcollector.com

Now, I definitely didn’t write this article to speak on Julia Roberts, even though, she is pretty awesome, and I will love to meet her one day, but because (where is that emoticon that puts his hand over his face, I need it) Hi, my name is Matasha and I am a runner. Hi, Matasha. Hi, (insert sad face). I am a runner. It is so hard to admit it, but I am in love with a great guy and I feel like it is a burden to love him. I am so use to people running when the going gets tough, I mean, even me, so much so that I am willing to ask, “Are your bags packed yet?” I don’t look for anyone to endure with me. I have learned to be a parent on my own, raising two kids, boy and a girl, and I am just use to being independent. I don’t know how to share me with someone else. I love my own company. I can make myself laugh and entertain myself all day, but what am I suppose to do with another? Being with someone is like learning you all over again through someone else and you are trying to figure out how do you keep this person around. What makes this person want to stay? Is it me who must put for the effort or he? I don’t know, so, since, I don’t know, I put on my running shoes (that I don’t own, more like a pointy toe flat) and run. I run far away, until I’m like woo, that was close. He almost had a chance to love me, not this time, and then I am back in my comfort zone, alone, and not looking, until the madness happens again.

I don’t wish to run from him, though because he is such an amazing guy, but Julia Roberts saw Richard Gere as amazing and she still took off running, no matter what he did to make her stay to show her that he was the one she needed to fall in love with, nothing he did could make her stay until she was ready to love him. (I told myself I wouldn’t cry. Dang it) I am a Gemini, so, do not hold me accountable for my words that I am about to say because I am in my feelings and eating junk food, and tomorrow I might not even feel this way, I may be on cloud nine, until I come down, but I feel like running away like Forest Gump back to my comfort zone, and not having a care in the world about ever walking down the aisle, but I know I can’t. I know I will cry if he leaves. If he tells me tomorrow it is over I probably would be devastated, so, I must learn to endure, and that first starts with, ugh, I don’t want to say it, taking off my running shoes. I have to learn to endure, even if that means blind folding my eyes until I am truly capable of not wanting to take off running. I am capable of being someone’s wife (cringing at the word). I am capable of being in a long lasting relationship. I hope. I think I need to be writing Steve Harvey Morning Show in the strawberry letter than writing this article, but I really felt to write it. Maybe, there are others with the same feelings as me that have desired to just take off running and don’t look back, but really desire a chance at real love. He doesn’t want me to leave. He wants me to stay. He loved me from the moment he laid eyes on me. He wanted me then.

Image Credit: steveharveytv.com

Where are the blind-folds? I think I am ready? Oh!

 

– Matasha Lee

TWITTER: @thebeautyofmyst
thebeautyofmystory.blogspot.com

 

Funky Gorilla Fist – Chapter 1

OPENING STATEMENT

This is not a forward, prologue, or anything else you may expect to find at the beginning of a book. So, opening statement is the best I can come up with outside of maybe, Warning Label.

I was told by a good friend, after he had read just the first few chapters, that “This is the type of book that Bukowski would have put down, to go on to a lighter read.”

While the names, places and dates have been changed to protect……….me, it is, after all, a work of fiction.

Sort of.

Lets just say that I took years of “research”, gave it some sort of continuity and found the alternate universe, parallel timeline of what could have been my story.

A story that doesn’t have a moral, carry any weighty social commentary, doesn’t posses any special philosophy, or higher message.

It is just a look back at what one life could have become had it continued unchecked.

I think it would make a colorful addition to Stuff Dudes Like.

 

Anthony Pepe

 

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CHAPTER 1

 

“Get me a beer while you’re up.” Jennifer pops her head back around the

doorjamb, “Light me a cigarette.” Chris reaches over to the nightstand for

the smokes, puts two in his mouth and lights them both.

He hears the toilet flush as he surveys the room. Laying on the bare mattress he notices

that the sheets and pillows are nowhere to be found at the moment.

There is a broken lamp, two beer bottles, some makeup and lotions, and a tennis racket

pushed into one corner of the room. There are the splintered remains of one of those Papasan or

Mamasan chairs, I guess in this case it was definitely a Papasan because it made a distinct

“Popping” sound when they fucked their way through it.

Well, it is pushed off to the other corner of the room, sticking up like the inverted rib cage

of some cow that died in the desert a hundred years ago.

The mirror over the dresser is hanging like a diamond from one nail, and even from clear

across the room he can see the tangled mess of face, hand and ass prints on the glass.

He laughs to himself, for even he can’t figure out how the ass prints got on the mirror, but

he wonders what the ass prints on top of the black lacquer dresser must look like.

“Now this is what a bedroom is supposed to look like.” He laughs and takes another drag

off of both cigarettes as Jennifer enters the room.

She is naked, still a little sweaty, bite marks pepper her neck and chest. There are some

small bruises on her thighs that resemble fingerprints. The rug burns on her knees are so bad they

are beginning to weep the light pink mix of blood and serous fluid that would usually accompany

second degree burns from, let’s say, fire.

Hot coals.

Electric stove.

Car cigarette lighter.

She is carrying two beers in each hand and kicking a pillow into the room as she enters.

“Where’d ya find that,” he asks. “In the hall,” she says as she takes a swig off of both

bottles in her right. hand then dribbles some on her self, chuckling as he says, “ We never even

made it into the fucking hallway.”

She hands him the beers and he notices her back is bleeding a little in a few places as she

bends to pick up the pillow.

“That lamp did a number on your back.”

“And you’re bleeding all over my wall, put this behind you” She hands him the pillow,

takes one of the smokes from his mouth and settles in on his lap as he props the pillow behind

him.

“I asked you to light me a smoke, not smoke it for me.” she finishes the first beer and

puts the butt in the bottle, leaning forward to put it on the nightstand.

“It’s not my fault you took so long,.” chugging the remains of his first beer and following

in turn with the butt. She lifts up a little to allow him to turn and place his bottle on the

nightstand. As she sits back down on his lap, he slips, full, right back inside of her. They both

smile but pretend not to notice as they drink.

“So, what do you want to do tonight? Catch a movie, go dancing, take a ride to the

beach?”

She leans forward, takes the beer from his hand, drops it and hers off the side of the bed,

grabs him by his hair, whispers in his ear, “Shut up and fuck me,” and pulls him over on top of

her.

 

– Anthony Pepe

TWITTER: @AnthonyMFPepe
FACEBOOK: anthonyfpepe
EMAIL: FunkyGorillaFist@hotmail.com